


What was once Lost

by moeblobmegane



Series: Soulmate AU [1]
Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Iwatobi!Rin, M/M, NagiGou are evil twins from different mothers, Rin and Haruka are soulmates but shit happens, Rin and Nagisa are bros, SouMako is implied, Telepathic Bond, okay everyone are bros actually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-22
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-02-09 22:08:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 65,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1999740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moeblobmegane/pseuds/moeblobmegane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Matsuoka Rin was back, and when Haruka looked into his eyes, he heard <b>nothing</b>.</i> </p><p>Or the AU where soulmates have varying degrees of telepathic bonds and Haruka and Rin are soulmates.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cherry Blossom Rain

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pinkblondie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkblondie/gifts).



> This idea came from [one meme from tumblr](http://moeblobmegane.tumblr.com/post/79058083588/4-telepathy-rinharu), and was brainstormed with the awesome [Naya](http://battler.co.vu/). I think half the ideas here are from her, tbh. So yes, THANK YOU BAE. YOU'RE AWESOME.

No one is really free in this world. True freedom does not exist.

Haruka Nanase knows that more than anyone. He knew it the moment he stared into the eyes of a crying boy seven years ago, knew it the moment he heard the whispers of _I’m lonely_ inside his head, knew it the moment he had to hold on to his best friend so as not to run and hug the red-haired stranger.

It was during that time when it all clicked into place. He found out about the invisible cage inside people’s heads. His eyes opened to the reality of shackles binding everyone to each other. The lack of choice. The lack of room to fly. The existence of Soul bonds.

 _Soulmates_ ; they called each destined pair. People with _soul bonds_ ; with deep emotional connections.

Instinctively, he understood the concept. It was a story passed from parent to child, from generation to generation. It was considered common sense. Every person grew up with the desire to find their own soulmates. Fairy tales boasts of happy endings and a blissful romance when you finally look into a person’s eyes and sparks fly.

“Just one look and you’d know. You’d understand.” That’s what adults would say. It was a simple concept.

He _understood_ it, but he never believed in it. He detested the idea.

He detested it all the more when it was confirmed to be true. When he found his other half. When the shackles locked in and the key was thrown into someone else’s hands. When his breath was taken away and it felt like only _that one person_ could give him the oxygen he needed.

There was nothing more he hated than the feeling of being at the mercy of one Matsuoka Rin.

 

—

 

_Dramas, mangas, novels and fairy tales all paint the grand reunion of souls as if it would be in slow motion. Flower petals would fall as trees swayed with the wind. The sunlight would shine just right to illuminate the face of that person you’ve been waiting for all your life. Everything would stop as you look into their eyes. In that one moment, everything would be beautiful._

_Haruka met Rin Matsuoka during a dark, cold day. The trees were bare. The clouds were all black. The people were walking too slowly, but not to give a romantic atmosphere; no, they were walking slowly because it was a **funeral procession**._

_And when Haruka looked into Rin’s eyes, when their gazes met, when blue met red, all he saw was darkness and loneliness and the ugly truth._

 

_**I’m lonely.** _

_**Help me.** _

_**I can’t do this.** _

_**Why did this have to happen?** _

_**If only I wasn’t born…** _

_Haruka was shaken by a loneliness far more potent than anything he’d ever felt before._

_His best friend, Makoto Tachibana, looked at him with wide eyes as he shook ever so slightly. Haruka averted his eyes to look at his best friend instead. It was safer that way. He reached out a hand to hold on to Makoto’s, squeezed it and lowered his head as he pulled him away from the crowd._

_“Haru-chan?” Makoto was worried. Of course he was. He didn’t know what just happened. People outside the soul-bonded pair normally would not notice unless the pair shows outward signs. Haruka could keep it a secret for as long as he’d like. It was a reassuring thought. “Haru-chan, what’s wrong?” They were far from them now. Far from the overwhelming loneliness._

_Haruka took a deep breath and sighed. “Nothing.” He said, looking away. “Let’s go to the Swim Club already. We’re going to be late.”_

 

—

 

He shook his head to drive the memories away, the movement causing the water to ripple around him. He looked down at the surface of his bath tub to see a few pink petals scattered here and there.

“Cherry blossoms…” He murmured, trying to pick one up. The one directly in front of him floated away, further than he could reach.

Perhaps it was because of the start of spring that he was having these thoughts. Cherry blossoms were beautiful, but they reminded him too much of that one person. Of his smile, of his voice, of his dreams. It was ridiculous how much emotions he could get from a simple petal.

“No…” He shook his head once again before dipping his head down the water.

Under the water, everything was muted. His connection with the world is temporarily severed. The overwhelming emotions aren’t felt as strongly. The ever present feeling of heaviness inside his chest goes away.

If only he was born a fish, if only he was able to stay under water forever… he would not have to feel any of these.

But he was human. He couldn’t change that.

He rose up from the water to breathe.

 

—

 

Makoto Tachibana has not met his soulmate yet. Honestly, he wants to meet that person. As soon as possible. The feeling of the ‘unknown’ scares him more than anything. He dreams about it regularly, of seeing a dark haired girl who would hate him at first sight. Or sometimes it would be a blonde boy with a nasty expression. The range is endless. It could very well turn for the worst without him knowing. The person could easily take his heart away and break it. That chance... that possibility scares him so much.

He wants to search for it too, like how numerous people do at his age. Seventeen was the perfect age to start searching.

But he is never invited in gatherings like that. When his classmates and friends talk about meeting up with other people, he was never considered a choice.

And… well, maybe it _is_ his fault.

“Nanase is your soulmate, right? Just admit it!” That was one thing everyone always said. With their closeness since they were kids, it was just natural how much they understood each other without speaking. That degree of trust and reliance confuses people more than anything. It has always been seen as a soul bond.

Makoto knew it to be false, though. He would know, right? He would know with just one look. Even if there were stories of soul bonds being so weak you don’t feel it as much, Makoto knew that it was still different. What he had with Haruka was a bond different from that forged by destiny. Theirs was a bond born from solidarity, and strengthened by time.

It was not a soul bond but it was important, nonetheless.

 

Just like every morning, Makoto knocked on the front door of Haruka’s house. He reached out for the knob to check. “Ha-” Makoto’s eyes widened as the door opened. Haruka was standing there fully prepared to go to school. That was… _unusual_. “Ready?”

Haruka nodded, walking forward and waiting for Makoto to close the door before locking it.

This certainly was new. “You’re early today.” He said, smiling uncertainly. “Did anything happen?”

“Nothing.” Haruka glanced at him with a confused expression. “Don’t you always tell me to be faster?”

That made him laugh. “Well, I do say that, but… It’s the first time you actually got prepared early.” He noted, scratching his cheek with an index finger. “It’s just…” He stared at his best friend, at this guy he could very well call his brother. _Ah_ , he thought, _there is something there, isn’t it?_ Haruka’s eyes roamed the road side. He was not staring longingly at the beach today. That was an obvious clue. But Haruka was evading his gaze and looking a bit tense. Makoto knew when to keep quiet. “It’s good.” He settled on saying. “It’s good that you were fast.”

Haruka hummed in agreement but kept his eyes trained on the branches of the trees they passed.

 

“Haruka-kun! Makoto-kun!”

Because they walk the same route everyday, Makoto and Haruka almost always end up walking with their former classmate, Aki Yazaki. They were classmates and swimming club mates for their whole elementary and middle school years, but Aki now studies in an All-Girls’ school that specializes on athletics. After all, unlike the two of them, she has always wanted to pursue a career in swimming. She works hard to achieve that goal. That’s why even though she’s only in her second year, she’s already the vice-captain of her team. Makoto has always thought she is a cool girl. (Determined and straightforward in a way reminiscent of a certain red-haired athlete they once knew.)

“Aki-chan, good morning.” He greeted politely, smiling as she took her place at Haruka’s other side. Haruka simply nodded at her before going back to looking around. Makoto decided to continue the greetings for both of their stead. “Long time no see.”

She smiled and nodded. “Yeah, a few months, huh? I was busy with the training camps...” She stretched her arms up. “I’m gonna do my best this school year too!” She exclaimed.

He laughed at that. “Good luck.” He said. “We’ll be cheering for you.”

“Thanks!” She replied happily.

For a while, there was silence as they all looked on the road. Haruka was as silent as ever but his movements really did seem tense. It looked like he was preparing for a fight. Aki, on the other hand, looked calm as she focused her gaze on Haruka’s expression.

“You’re early.” She noted after a while. “It’s the first day of class so I didn’t think you’d go.” She smiled a bit as she added, “You’re always absent on the first day, right?”

Haruka brought his attention back to her, eyes blinking slowly. “I felt like it” was his simple answer.

She pursed her lips and continued staring. “You felt like it, huh?” She asked, nodding to herself. She looked back on the road. “Felt… like it…” She murmured. She seemed to be thinking deeply. After another minute, she asked, “Do you think you’d feel like swimming any time soo-”

Makoto’s eyes widened and he raised both hands up to stop Aki. “Ah! Ah!” He panicked. “By the way! How was your summer, Aki-chan?”

She narrowed her eyes at him but sighed and seemed to give up on that line of thought. “It was fine…” She said slowly, pouting a bit as she dejectedly turned away from Haruka. “We had fun swimming in the large pool in the other town.” She talked about the summer camp until it was time for them to separate ways.

 

—

 

It felt like any other day for Haruka, despite the constant buzz he felt under his skin. There was tension coiled inside his chest, but that was always the case anyway. That was his own shackle making itself known. He knew that. It was stronger today for some reason, but it was the same binding.

As usual, he and Makoto walked to their classroom in silence. There were still people who would tease them about being in sync even in taking their seat. It didn’t help that they sat beside each other so their actions were perfectly seen as mirroring each other. Their classmates loved to gossip like that. Haruka tuned them out, though. He was too busy staring out the window. The cherry blossoms tree was in full bloom beside the swimming pool.

“Ah,” he heard Makoto say. “Spring’s not quite here yet.” He was staring out the window too. “I wonder when we’ll see that cherry blossom tree bloom fully?”

Haruka felt something clench inside him. “What did you say?” He asked quietly, trying hard not to panic. His eyes widened just a bit as he stared at Makoto. “The cherry blossom tree isn’t…?”

“The trees aren’t in full bloom yet.”

 

—

 

_“Ah~” Rin sighed, pouting as he stared at the large trees by the pool. “It’s not in full bloom yet, huh?”_

_Makoto blinked in confusion, tilting his head to the right. “You want to see cherry blossoms?”_

_Rin nodded with a smile. “It’s large, right?” He said. He pointed towards the tree, his smile widening. “So if it blooms fully, it would be great if the petals fell in the pool.” He explained. He looked ecstatic about the idea. He always looked so bright-eyed and happy about everything, anyway. Haruka felt tired just looking at his face._

_“You want to see a pool of cherry blossom petals?” Makoto asked, eyebrows furrowed together as he tried to understand why Rin would want that._

_“Yeah!” Rin nodded. “Wouldn’t it be beautiful? I want to swim in it!” He announced loudly._

_“But it would be too cold!” Makoto exclaimed. “You’ll get sick!”_

_Rin looked at Makoto for a moment before bursting out laughing. “I was joking! Of course I know that!” He said. He chanced a glance at Haruka and smiled softly. **It would be beautiful, right Nanase?**_

_Haruka frowned. **You’re weird.**_

_Rin laughed some more and shook his head. “You’re the weird one.” He said out loud, making Makoto confused once more. “Cherry blossoms are beautiful.”_

 

——

 

“The trees aren’t-” He took in a shaky breath and shook his head. He took his bag from the side of the desk and decided to walk out now rather than regret it later. He could feel it. The shaking of his whole body. The small tremors from his gut. The ever present weight in his stomach growing heavier by the minute.

He wanted to throw up. He wanted to run away.

He wanted to-

“Haru?” Makoto immediately stood up and followed at his side, sounding worried more than ever. “What’s wrong?”

He could not speak, though. He could not move properly. He did not know what to do.

He was seeing _cherry blossoms bloom_. Ever since this morning, he’s been seeing all those cherry blossom trees in full bloom. No wonder Makoto looked so weirded out by his interest in the trees.

He could not breath, could not think, could not feel anything. He vaguely knew Makoto went stiff beside him, in worry and in fear. But Haruka couldn’t reassure him, couldn’t speak, couldn’t hear anything. Nothing was right. Nothing felt right.

It felt like he was drowning. Like he was slowly suffocating and feeling helpless. Like all the light in the world was being sucked out by a giant black hole.

And then, before he knew it, he was moving. Forward, forward, _forward_.

Until he bumped into the red-haired boy opening the door of their classroom. He felt his body go boneless, felt his everything fall into the other boy.

"Hey," He heard a soft voice say. He felt warm hands on his arms. He could smell home and flowers and the sea. For a fleeting moment, he felt safe and free. "Are you okay?" His head was on the stranger’s shoulder, and he sniffed quietly. He did not have any energy to move. But he felt the soft buzzing under his skin dull down, like the warmth was now seeping into him and giving him strength. "Haru,"

 

And then with that one word, Haruka realized what was happening.

He suddenly understood who it was. He heard Makoto’s soft “Rin-chan” and everything felt  _right_  but everything also felt **wrong**. He looked up, wide-eyed, at Matsuoka Rin, fresh from his trip from the airport. “Rin…” He stepped back. He felt his whole body strain at the effort of moving away.

 _He wanted that warmth back. His body screamed for the safety it promises. He wants. **Needs**. He needed it like air. Right now. He needed **him**_. But-

He pushed himself to run. Away. Away from here. Away from him.

Rin was back.

 _Rin was back_ , and when Haruka looked into his eyes, he heard _nothing_.

 

—

 

_Rin transferred in during their last year in elementary. It was already a few months into the school year, so he was a hot topic to everyone. Transfer students in the middle of the year was exciting._

_“I’m Matsuoka Rin! I may have a girly name but I’m a boy! Nice to meet you!” He had introduced himself with such an enthusiastic statement. He was a ball of energy. Everyone liked him immediately. He seemed friendly enough._

_But when their teacher spoke, when he kept quiet beside her, his eyes were trained in only one person’s face._

_He looked Haruka in the eye._

_**Hey** , he was saying inside his head, **I know you can hear me.**_

_Haruka looked away with a frown. He answered him with silence._

 

—

 

Rin was not sure why Haruka looked so shocked by his appearance. Yeah, his transfer was a secret and they lost contact ages ago, but that amount of surprise was just completely confusing. Not to mention, there was something else in his expression. Fear? Sadness? There was a bad feeling. A dark feeling Rin did not like seeing in Haruka’s expression.

And Haruka even ran away. He literally took his bag and ran out of the classroom.

_Did Rin do something wrong to him?_

“Hey, Makoto,” He stepped inside the classroom. Everyone else was stock still in their places. They all stared at him in various shades of surprise and curiosity. Some of them recognized him, he was sure. Some were new faces. The teacher would introduce him anyway, he knew. He just felt like coming in early into the classroom to greet his former classmates. It was an urge he couldn't understand either. “Did I do something to Haru?” He asked, stopping right in front of Makoto.

Makoto gaped at him for a few seconds. “Rin-chan!” He exclaimed again, as if realizing fully that he was really here. “You’re in Japan- Ah, you’re wearing our uniform!”

Rin chuckled. “Yeah?” He raised an eyebrow. “Obviously.”

“You’re our classmate!” Makoto looked conflicted. Like he was pleased but he also wanted to kick Rin out of their classroom. Or maybe Rin was projecting. Who knows. “I- Ah, wow, long time no see!”

“Did I do something to Haru?” He repeated the question to get them back on track.

“Haru-chan…?” Makoto looked at the closed door thoughtfully. His lips were pursed in obvious worry. Then, he shrugged his shoulders and smiled softly. “He probably felt sick. He was about to go to the infirmary before you arrived.”

Rin nodded in understanding. “He almost fainted, didn’t he? He just… he fell on me and all.” He said, voice full of wonder. “Shouldn’t you check on him?”

Makoto blinked for a moment, freezing. He was obviously panicking. “Ah-” He looked up, averting his eyes. “No, Haru-chan won’t like that. He’ll probably just rest and come back.” He gave Rin a final weak smile before walking over to his seat.

“Your relationship is still weird, isn’t it?” Rin sighed out. “I better go to the faculty room now.” He said, waving at Makoto as he walked towards the door once again. “See you later.”

 

—

 

When Rin introduced himself, it was a simple “I’m Matsuoka Rin. I came back from Australia recently. Nice to meet you.” The difference was obvious. Makoto thought maybe it was because they’ve grown up. Energetic and playful introductions didn’t fit Rin’s current image, anyway. Before, he always had exclamation points at the end of each sentence. But now, he had blank, judging looks and sarcastic phrases.

He was still the Rin Makoto knew, but he seemed much more subdued in a way that gave Makoto feelings of discord.

One thing was obviously the same though. He was still very much focused on Haruka.

When lunch time came and Makoto took out his lunch, Rin walked over to his desk. “Haru never came back.” He said with an annoyed frown. “You sure he’s okay?”

Makoto nodded, even though he wasn’t entirely sure. Something was wrong with Haruka, but it felt like betrayal to say that out loud to Rin. If anything, it felt like Haruka was running away from Rin and as a best friend, it was Makoto’s duty to protect him from whatever he felt that moment. That overwhelming fear in Haruka’s eyes did not go undetected, after all. “He’s fine.” Besides, he didn’t want Rin to worry either. Rin was his friend too despite the long time they haven’t spoken to each other. “He probably was asked to go home early.”

Rin looked unconvinced but he shrugged it off. “Hey,” He said, glancing down at Makoto’s unopened lunch box. “Wanna eat at the rooftop?”

“Ah, sure.” He smiled and followed.

 

—

 

Once they were seated by the side of the door, Rin took out his own lunch box immediately. He opened it to reveal a perfectly made lunch box full of meat and vegetables; exactly the type of lunch an athlete would have.  It looked healthy  _and_ delicious. But instead of digging in, he set it down and glanced at the door. “He’s coming any moment now.” He said, eyes intent.

“Who?” Makoto asked curiously, looking up from staring at his own lunch. He knew it was not Haruka, given the circumstances. Who else could it be? Rin knew a lot of people in this school, but he did not seem interested in them earlier. He was closest to Haruka and Makoto. No one else comes to mind.

 

Before Rin could answer, a person came bounding from the stairs. “Mako-chan! Rinrin!” A blonde boy shouted, stopping right beside them. Just like that, Makoto knew. No one else called them that. Only him. Their younger friend from their former swim club: Nagisa Hazuki. With a huge smile, he plopped down beside Rin and hugged his arm. “I missed you~!” He said, rubbing his cheek on Rin's sleeves. "It's been so long~"

“Nagisa!” Makoto felt himself smiling back as well. Nagisa still had that healing presence they all loved. “It’s nice to see you.” Somehow, the atmosphere became so much brighter just with the younger boy's appearance.

Rin easily scooted away and picked up his chopsticks, frowning disapprovingly at him. “Don’t call me Rinrin.” He griped, but it was lacking heat. See? Even Rin couldn't really get angry at him. _Healing presence._

“Ah,” Makoto smiled as he thought back to Rin’s earlier words. “Rin knew that Nagisa-kun was here?” He looked at the two for confirmation.

Both of them nodded. “I saw him in the opening ceremony at the gym.” Nagisa said the same time Rin said, “He waved and shouted at me during the opening ceremony and he got yelled at by his teacher.” Nagisa pouted upon hearing that, stealing a piece of meat off Rin's lunchbox. Rin just glared at him and moved away to eat faster.

Makoto laughed as he watched them fight. It was a breath of fresh air, seeing something like this again. Despite growing up, these kinds of relationships don't just disappear after all. "This is really nice," he said. "We're all together again."

“Haru-chan is here too?” Nagisa asked, eyes brightening even more. He was obviously excited. He looked around, hands shaped into circles around his eyes like binoculars. “Where is he? I wanna see Haru-chan! Where where where-” He looked left and right and up, almost bouncing on his seat.

“He went home early.” Makoto interrupted Nagisa's flailing with a firm sentence. Despite not knowing exactly what happened, he was almost sure it was the case. Haruka did not usually go to school on the first day anyway. It was too troublesome, or so he would always say. Just the fact that he went to school, saw Rin, and then promptly went back home was an obvious anomaly. Something was wrong.

Nagisa's smile dropped and for the first time, his whole face showed something other than energetic happiness. He looked worried. With a frown, he asked, "Is Haru-chan sick?"

"Yeah." Makoto lied easily. Without knowing the cause, it was the only reason he could come up with. It was better this way. "He was just dizzy."

Nagisa stared at his face, eyes wide as if peering right into his soul. "Hmmm..." He hummed in thought, his right hand rubbing an imaginary beard. He took a bite from his sandwich, eyes closing. "Is that so...?" He nodded. Then, with his whole body freezing, his eyes opened wide. "Ah!" He exclaimed, a huge smile spreading on his face. "Should we visit him? I wanna see Haru-chan! We should take care of him! I miss him!"

“Ah, I-” Makoto looked down, thinking deeply. He wasn’t sure Haruka would want that. Especially if Rin would join them. “I don’t think-”

“I’ll pass.” Rin interrupted, side-eyeing Makoto with a contemplative expression. “It’s out of my way.”

Nagisa puffed out his cheeks, turning his attention to Rin. “But Rin-chan!” He crossed his arms, eyebrows furrowing. “We should take care of Haru-chan! He's sick!”

“He can take care of himself.” Rin simply said. He raised an eyebrow at Nagisa challengingly. “And Makoto can handle that alone just fine. We’ll just get in the way.” He finished, picking the last bits of his lunch and chewing on it loudly as if saying that everything's final.

“Yes…” Makoto held out his hands in front of him, calming down Nagisa as much as he can. “Maa, I’ll just tell him you said hi.” He offered as a bargaining chip.

“Fine.” Nagisa sighed dejectedly, looking down. It was clear that he really wanted to see Haruka. He was overjoyed to see them, after all. He was the type to treasure his friends like this. He would want to see Haruka as soon as possible. He sighed once more before going back to chewing his sandwich.

 

But, after a few minutes, his expression changed as he looked up and brought his attention back to Rin. “AH!” He raised a hand as if he was reciting in class, voice loud and excited. His eyes were wide and had that mischievous gleam. “Since we’re all together again, how about we build a swim club?!” He asked, eyes darting at them both. He smiled wide and it seemed as if he was shining brightly.

"..." Makoto stared at him, unsure of what to say. He stopped swimming in his first year of middle school, almost three years ago. Haruka did the same, and won't even talk about why he decided to quit. It was a delicate, we-don't-talk-about-it kind of topic.

On the other hand, Rin was already finished eating and was focused on tidying his lunch box. He sighed and closed it as if the question did not even concern him. For some reason, the aura around him seemed to have changed from the indifferent feel to a new... darker feeling. Makoto did not like it at all.

“Well?” Nagisa prodded, eyes roving their faces for any sign of agreement. "You want to swim the relay again, right?"

With a sigh, Rin stood up and took his things with him. “No thanks.” He said curtly, not even meeting their eyes. “ _I’ve quit swimming competitively._ ”

**“Eh?!”**

The two watched his back as he walked down the stairs without even waiting for them.


	2. I see your love; it's shining in your eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NagiGou joins forces. Haruka continues to evade Rin. And _that dork_ finally makes an appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was writing this and I couldn’t continue at all, and then I looked back to the first chapter and was disgusted by it so I went ahead and edited a bunch of things. Nothing fundamental changed though, don’t worry. You can read this without rereading that, but I’d like it if you read it again, I guess.
> 
> As usual, special thank you to Naya for being awesome and putting up with my random burst of neediness and low self-esteem and inability to write Makoto Tachibana. You're the best, bby.

_Rin was a force of nature; this was how Haruka saw him all those years ago. He came in like a storm and disturbed everyone in his wake. He had the biggest smile when he was talking about his dreams and he_ always _talked about it to anyone who would listen. Classmates, teachers, random old women in the neighborhood… everyone listened. Everyone wanted to dream with him. Everyone wanted to see him succeed. Everyone wanted to find their own dreams because of seeing him try so hard. Each person he touches, changes. He was that kind of person. He had that inborn charisma._

_So when Rin walked up to them that day in the Swim Club, Haruka steeled himself. He was ready to say “no” to anything. Rin could change other people as much as he likes, but Haruka would not be taken in._

_“Let’s make a relay!” He said, eyes wide and shining, staring right into Haruka’s eyes. **I want you in my team. You’re beautiful and you’re fast and you’d be so good for us.**_

_Haruka looked away, because it wasn’t just words anymore. Inside his head, he could see bright lights and flowing water. His heart grew warm with the overflowing affection seeping out from Rin. This telepathic bond was so much more than he ever imagined. He could not bear to subject himself to it more than this._

_“Hey, hey,” Rin stepped forward, peeking at his face, trying so hard to catch his gaze again. “Come on, just swim with me.” He insisted, tugging on Haruka’s arm._

_“I only swim free.” Haruka said coldly. And then he walked away just like that._

 

_\---_

 

“Is it true?” Aki jogged over to their side as soon as she saw them appear by the street corner. Her smile was wide as she looked at the two. “Did you meet Matsuoka-kun?” She asked excitedly. 

Makoto looked surprised for just a second — briefly throwing Haruka a worried glance — before nodding in affirmation. He looked like he didn’t want to talk about it. Perhaps there were problems with Haruka? Aki knew Makoto took Haruka’s feelings into account more than he does his own. Anyone with eyes could see that.

So Aki backtracked a bit. It would do no good to corner his two friends, after all. “Ah…” She wrinkled her nose, looking down as she wondered what else to say. Truthfully, she had a million questions to ask about Rin. He was a great swimmer and she admired him a lot. She was curious about a lot of things. She wanted to know _everything_.

She settled on “uh, good morning?” instead. She sighed and forced a smile before looking up at the two.

“Good morning.” Makoto offered her a slightly-more-honest smile this time. “How was your first day?” It was obvious he wanted to move to another topic.

Aki smiled properly then, remembering yesterday. She heard about Rin’s arrival from her captain, who heard it from the vice captain of an all-boys’ school near hers. (Rin is pretty much a celebrity in the swimming scene around here, isn’t he?) Everyone was hyped up with the idea of some high-class swimmer being in the vicinity.

“It was good!” She exclaimed. “Everyone was in good condition since most of the members went to the camp. We’ll definitely win the relay this time!”

“Ah, you’ll swim the relay this year too?” Makoto asked, obviously interested. It has been almost four years since he last swam in a competition. Even now, he still talked about his own relay with great affection. He was always open to discussing Aki’s training as well, and would listen happily. It seemed to her as if he was living vicariously through her. “You’re swimming the freestyle leg, right?”

She nodded enthusiastically. “Yep!” She then went on to explain how nice it felt to swim in their own pool again, how it was nice being _in a team_ , how freestyle was **_the_** strokefor her. Makoto listened on with a pleasant expression, despite how Haruka obviously did not want to hear any of it.

Well, she was a good friend generally, but just a bit of teasing is okay, right? Above all, she just really wanted to push Haruka into swimming again.

Holding the Iwatobi record for the fastest freestyle race and also being in the fastest relay team in the history on their small town, Haruka has always been Aki’s inspiration. She wanted to see him in the water again. She wanted to swim with him, or even to swim _against_ him. If it would be done by making Haruka jealous of her experience, then so be it.

 

Though, right now, it looked like this plan was far from successful. Haruka was looking at the trees again. He had a frown on his face, like he was angry about something. Makoto threw him worried looks every other minute. It was so obvious that something was bothering them both, really, and it was pretty annoying to have no knowledge of it whatsoever. It was just like them to not tell her what was bothering them. More often than not, they seemed to be wrapped around their own exclusive world. No Aki allowed. It kind of sucked to be their friend sometimes.

Hmmm. No use sulking about things like that. What she needed was answers.

Judging by how they reacted to her first greeting, the problem was connected to Rin’s arrival. Rin must have triggered something in Haruka that subsequently made Makoto worry. But what? What _was_ wrong?

More importantly, _how_ could she find out what was wrong?

She smiled as a plan formed inside her head. “Hey,” She stopped walking and watched as the two looked back at her with twin looks of confusion. “I’ll take this shortcut today,” She pointed towards the side; to an area full of trees, essentially a mini forest. She knew it lead straight to the all-boy’s school beside her own. 

Makoto frowned. “Are you sure? It looks…” He shivered in fear. Always the scaredy-cat, he is. “Uhhh…”

She grinned and waved that off. “It’s fine. I go through here all the time.” She saluted and walked off. “See you tomorrow!”

 

\---

 

Once Makoto could not see her back any longer, he rushed forward to where Haruka was already steps ahead. He would worry about Aki more, especially as to why she chose to use a shortcut today randomly, but he had other things to worry about at the moment. Somehow, Haruka was retreating into himself even more than usual. It was really worrying.

“Did you go straight home after- after what happened?” It was all kind of awkward to even bring up that event. Nothing made sense to Makoto, after all. The whole thing reminded him of five years ago, about how Haruka and Rin would sometimes not speak while staring at each other for whole _minutes_. What happened gave him a sense of déjà vu. Except this time, it did not give him a light, excited feeling. This time, all he felt was coldness and dread.

He did not like it one bit.

Haruka let out a put-upon sigh. “I just got dizzy. I went straight home. I’m fine now.”

It was a lie. An obvious lie.

“You should have stayed inside the infirmary to rest, at least.”

They both knew Haruka was lying. They both knew that Makoto saw through it too, so it was not really lying. Since they have known each other for so long, it was more like a huge banner saying [I don’t want to talk about it]. It was a clear sign that Haruka was not ready to discuss it, and Makoto’s sign back that said he was fine with that.

Makoto could always wait for him to open up. Haruka would open up in time.

 

\---

 

Rin remembered a lot of things from his short stay in Iwatobi. It was only a few months, but everything was important to him. The windows that gleamed when they caught the sunlight, the beautiful trees that lined their sidewalk, the classmates who smiled and welcomed him into their class, the many activities they did for graduation…

And Haru; the shining light that made everything in Iwatobi so much brighter. It was only a few months but Rin clearly remembered Haruka being a very important person. He rarely smiled and would always stubbornly refuse everything Rin asked, but his presence alone would give strength to Rin. It was like just being around him could brighten Rin’s day. Rin even vaguely remembered snippets of memories where Haruka _literally_ looked like he was bathed in a soft ethereal light.

It was a weird feeling. Until now, Rin could not explain why that was.

 

Because of all those things, he wanted to be close to Haruka again. He wanted to talk to him, ask him about how he’s been these past few years… He wanted to catch up and get that feeling back.

When Haruka and Makoto walked inside the room though, it was obvious that Haruka did not want any of that. He kept his gaze down and angled his whole body away from Rin as soon as he was seated. There was obvious tension in his body that Rin did not remember from before.

Makoto was even more obvious. He greeted Rin with a frantic “good morning” before sitting beside Haruka. To top it all off, his shaky smile turned into a concerned expression the moment he looked at Haruka.

So… everything really was Rin’s fault? Wait, how would he even make Haruka dizzy? That did not make any sense!

Or maybe, Haruka really was just feeling sick until now and could not talk with anyone?

Maybe…? That made more sense, at least.

Rin decided to let it go for now. He did not want to give Makoto the chance to talk to him about swimming, anyway. This is for the best.

 

\---

 

Matsuoka Gou was worried.

First, about her brother and how he has been acting ever since he came back from Australia. He has been distant in a way that makes Gou want to hold his arms and shake him. He barely shared any of his thoughts. They walked to school together every day, and he waited for her like a good brother should, but he never initiated any conversation. When she asked anything remotely related to his experience in Australia, he would look away and say “it’s all in the past now”. That was too weak for her brother. Something was wrong. Something happened.

Second, about her mother and how she just _agreed_ without any question when Rin asked to enroll with Gou in Iwatobi. That… was surprising as well. Not entirely worrying like Rin’s change in disposition, but it was a bit disconcerting. Rin had better offers from other schools. He could reach for his dreams better with the foothold they were giving him. Those were _scholarships_ too. It did not make sense to gave those up.

Last but not the least, about Hazuki Nagisa. Also known as that breast stroke swimmer from her brother’s relay team five years ago, and a fellow first year student from _another class_.

She was not worried about him, per se. But she was worried about what it meant that he immediately pulled a chair and placed it beside her the moment lunch time came. It was _fishy_. He was suddenly there beside her!

“Gou-chan,” he started without any prelude or small talk. He looked serious as he placed his melon bread down and stared her in the eyes. “I think we should join forces.”

Her eyebrows immediately drew together in confusion. “Huh?”

He leaned closer, eyes darting to the sides as if making sure no one was listening in. “I want to make a swim club.” He confided in a whisper. “I need your help.”

“Oh!” She smiled brightly at that idea. That was definitely a good thing. That was a really perfect plan to start off. “I’d help!” She exclaimed. The knot of worry inside her chest loosened just a bit. “I’d do anything to help!”

He grinned, sitting back on his chair much more comfortably. “I knew you would be the perfect choice.” He chuckled. “Rin-chan won’t be able to say no, especially with his sister complex.”

She blinked at that. “Sister complex?”

“Heehee.” He just shook his head, back to being cute, innocent and charming as he munched on his melon bread. “We need five members to become a club. Me, you and Mako-chan. And if Rin-chan says yes, then we have four.” He mused loudly. “I wonder if he’ll really say yes though…”

She watched him ponder on that. She was not sure either. It has been way too long since she was last able to read her brother clearly. His current behavior was too off for her to decide. “He doesn’t seem to want to swim anymore.” She said. “And he doesn’t even want to talk about it.”

He nodded understandingly. “We talked yesterday.” He bit off the last piece of his bread and swiftly opened up another one. “He said he quit swimming competitively. He even walked out before we could ask why…” He frowned down at the desk. He really looked dejected just thinking about what happened. It must have been painful for him.

“Nii-chan, he-” She didn’t know if it was right to tell this to Nagisa, but she somehow felt like it was the right time to share her worries. He had the same goals as hers. They could definitely benefit in helping out each other. “He rejected a scholarship for Samezuka academy. It’s a national-level swimming school, and they were willing to pay for almost everything, but he refused all of it. He didn’t even stop to consider.”

Even Nagisa became speechless upon hearing that. He stared wide-eyed at her for a few moments before he said, “It might be worse than I initially thought…?”

She frowned and nodded. It was definitely worse than anyone could imagine. She did not even know how someone as passionate as her brother could just do that without much thought.

“But-” He sat up straighter and placed his bread down. “I’m not giving up!” He said decisively. “I’m _definitely_ getting to the root of this!” He raised his arm up. “Yosh!”

That kind of determination made Gou want to do her best too. “Yosh!” She echoed, racing her arm as well. “Let’s do our best!”

 

\---

 

The first phase of Nagisa’s plan sailed easily. He guessed as much. Gou loved her brother a lot, he knew. He understood that feeling well. During those few months when Rin trained with him, Nagisa saw him as a big brother too. Nagisa understood Gou’s feelings because he felt the same way. He still felt it even now, to be honest. He still wanted to make sure Rin was fine. He still wanted to see Rin smile widely and swim with all his might.

That was why his plan was made in the first place.

 

The second phase was a pretty low hurdle as well. But it was higher than the first one 

Phase Two was simply ‘get Mako-chan into the plan’. The whole gist of phase two was to isolate Makoto from Haruka and talk him into helping them. Nagisa had a convincing speech ready.

“Excuse me,” It was the end of class. Nagisa and Gou waited outside the second year’s corridor, peeking into the classroom to see who was there. “Um,” Unfortunately, the first person out of the room was, of all people, Rin. “Ah!” Gou forced a smile and waved her hand mechanically. “Nii-chan! Long time no see!”

Rin gaped at her. “We walked to school this morning.” He deadpanned, eyeing her suspiciously. “Did you want to walk home-”

Nagisa was already shaking his head even before Rin was finished with that sentence. “ _We’re_ walking home together!” He exclaimed, tugging Gou’s arm to show how close they were now. Well, they were. It was not a lie or anything. “We just- uh,” He peeked inside again. “We just wanted to ask if Mako-chan is inside.”

“Oi,” Rin glared at their entwined arms, forcibly removing Nagisa away from his sister. It was cute. He definitely had sister complex. It was _so_ obvious. “Get your paws away from my sister.”

“Woof.” Nagisa replied playfully, laughing as Rin glared at him harder.

Rin changed tactics and looked at Gou instead. “ _We’re_ walking home together.” He said sternly.

Well, that was a good plan actually. Gou could soften him up while Nagisa was convincing Mako-chan. Nagisa smiled encouragingly at her and nodded discreetly, watching as understanding dawned on her. Man, they were already acting like perfect partners-in-crime. This was going too well.

“Okay!” Gou agreed, smiling at her brother. “I guess I could accompany nii-chan instead.” She said, with all the charm of a cute little sister. Yes. She has The Skill. Nagisa has chosen the perfect person.

“You…” Rin stared at Gou, and then glanced at Nagisa with narrowed eyes. “Did you just-” He scowled, but cut himself off, as if he didn’t want to know whatever it was. “Fine.” He sighed. “Let’s go.” He waited for Gou to move before walking beside her like a guard dog.

Nagisa smothered the giggle that was threatening to spill out of him. He believed in his plan, and in Gou. They could do this. The relay would not just be a dream. They would make it work.

 

He peered inside the classroom once again to get back to the task at hand. Haruka was staring outside the window while Makoto was still talking to a few of their classmates. This was his only chance. “Mako-chan!” He called out, moving towards the door while waving his hand exaggeratedly.

Makoto looked at his direction immediately. “Ah!” A huge smile appeared on his face as he nodded his head in greeting. He excused himself from their classmates and walked over to Nagisa. “Did you want to talk to Haru?” He asked, pleasant as ever. 

Nagisa blinked in confusion for a few seconds before he realized where Makoto was coming from. “Oh.” He laughed. “Later, definitely!” He nodded. He missed Haruka too. He was just a bit distracted so he forgot to greet Haruka as soon as possible. He will definitely do it later. “But for now, I want to talk to Mako-chan.” He inclined his head towards the outside field to signal that they should talk somewhere private. “Is it okay?”

“Oh.” Understanding flooded his expression at once. He smiled. “That’s a great idea.” He nodded. “Let me just-” He rushed inside, whispered something to Haruka and walked off when Haruka nodded.

 

Nagisa lead him to the side of the track field. They sat there on the grass while watching various people do their warm up exercises. It was a calming scene, somehow. There was something about seeing athletes doing their best that made Nagisa at ease.

“Is this about the relay?” Makoto asked, watching him with knowing eyes. “You said you wanted to swim with everyone again, right?”

“Yep!” Nagisa easily nodded. It was good that Makoto understood it that fast and that he agreed to talk like this. That meant he thought about it too. “I was thinking of making a swim club.” He confided, in the same way he said it to Gou earlier. “With me and Gou-chan and you and Rin-chan, we could probably convince Haru-chan to join, right? Then we would have the five members needed.”

Makoto nodded slowly, looking thoughtful. “Would Rin join though?” He asked dubiously. “He seemed really against the idea yesterday.” The cold demeanour he showed gave off the feeling that he would run away as soon as swimming competitively was mentioned. Even the whole day, when Makoto looked at him, it seemed like he knew exactly when Makoto would ask about it, and he promptly busied himself with other things to escape interrogation.

“Gou-chan could convince him to join as a temporary member.” Nagisa shrugged. It was a flimsy excuse, but it was a start. It would bring Rin to them, even if he refused to swim. They just had to lure in him slowly. “I’m about…” He closed his eyes, scratching at his cheek as he tried to imagine the potential scenarios. “I’m about 95% sure he’ll agree to Gou-chan. He won’t say no.”

“If that’s true, then it’s good.” Makoto conceded. “I’ll help with the Haru front as much as I can.” He said earnestly. “I feel like this could change things for the better,” he added to himself, more like an afterthought. He wanted it to be true.

 

—

 

_Makoto grew up in a household headed by soul-bonded parents. He grew up with stories about how his father met his mother at a bar, about how he was lured in to the bar for no logical reason, about how his mother decided to wear that specific color because of a hunch. He grew up seeing a couple so filled with love and understanding that you could literally feel it when you look at them. You could almost see them talk to each other through their minds._

_Soul-bonds were a wonderful thing._

_And because he knew that, he also understood easily when Rin smiled widely and stared at Haruka. He has always been good at reading Haruka, so he saw how Haruka looked away with a small blush. Rin was an open book to literally everyone, and they could all see how much brighter his smile would become when Haruka was in the same room._

_It was wonderful, seeing that unfold in front of his eyes. He wanted to cheer for them. He wanted to make sure they would be just like his parents._

_But life was cruel and unfair._

_He saw how Haruka looked when Rin said he was going to Australia. He saw how Rin’s smile was tinged with just an ounce of desperation as he said he would come back someday._

_He saw how a year later, Haruka closed off more and more._

_For the first time in his life, Makoto doubted his own observations. How could a soul-bond hurt someone this much? It was not designed to hurt anyone. It was not supposed to go this way.  
_

_Perhaps Makoto was wrong, he thought. Perhaps Haruka was never Rin’s soulmate. Perhaps he read all of it wrong._

—

 

“Yeah,” Aki grinned triumphantly as she sat down on the bench beside their indoor pool. The members let her talk on the phone for now, since they knew how she gets when she was curious about something. It was better to let her finish her investigation. “Yamazaki-kun, you’re a big help.” She was saying, smile so wide it was obvious she was getting the answers she needed. “Yeah.” She nodded. “Nanase? Ah, Haruka-kun? Yeah. He’s in Iwatobi too. He’s not swimming anymore.

“Hm? …well, I’m not sure either.” Her face scrunched up in frustration. “Believe me, I know.” She sighed. “I’ll let you know if something changes. So let me know if you find out anything more, okay?"

There was silence as the person on the other line talked for some time.

“Oh. That’s good.” She nodded. “I’ll talk to my captain.” She said. “You talk to yours.” She nodded one last time before hanging up. After which, she strode purposefully over to their captain. “Chiyo-senpai,” She waited until the aforementioned girl looked at her from reading the new training regime. “Samezuka’s vice-captain wanted to ask if we were up for a training session next month, once we’ve settled in.” 

Chiyo raised an eyebrow, lips pursed in thought. “I don’t like their captain that much.” She admitted. “But it would be good for us. They’re a good team.”

“Is the captain- um, Mikoshiba?” She asked, pulling the name out of the top of her head. She vaguely remembered seeing him in one of the meets. She was amazed by how fast he was. Why would the captain not like that guy?

“Yeah,” Chiyo nodded, sighing. “He’s… difficult to handle.” She shrugged. “And he treats training sessions like we were speed dating or something.” She groaned as memories seemed to flood her. “God, I hate that guy.”

Aki blinked. “Should I refuse…?” The vice-captain was nice enough from what Aki has gleaned from their few conversations. She found him agreeable, at least. “I could call-”

Chiyo immediately shook her head. “Nah,” She smiled weakly. “I’m just weak with that type.” She said. “But training sessions with them are really good for us. Continuing that friendship seems important, too. Tradition and all that. He’s serious about training anyway, that guy.”

“Okay.” Aki said, unsure of what else to say. “I’ll contact them immediately to confirm.” She raised her phone to indicate she’ll make the call now.

“Wait,” Chiyo stared at her for a few seconds, searching her face for something. “Did you find out what you were wondering about?” She asked, voice full of curiosity and concern.

Aki smiled. “Yes. It seems I had allies who had the same goal as me.” She explained vaguely. “Just wait. We’ll _definitely_ get Haruka-kun to join us in a training session soon enough too.”

 

—

 

“Aaand so!” Nagisa grinned widely, showing off the club membership form as soon as he was close enough to Makoto. Gou was a hard worker. She was able to talk to their teacher earlier to consult about their plans. _And_ she had convinced Rin to join as a member. In name, at least. He’ll be listed as one even if he said he would never join training with them. She said he just did it as a favor for both her and Nagisa. Whatever. They could definitely pull him into the activities easily enough. “We just need one more member!” He exclaimed. He placed the form right on Makoto’s hand. “Fill up your form!”

Makoto took the form and filled it up without much comment. He was quiet as he did so.

“Where’s Haru-chan?” Nagisa asked just as Makoto was finishing up. He looked around the classroom but the said boy was nowhere in sight. “Is he sick again?” He bit his lower lip, worried.

“Oh.” Makoto looked uneasy as he stared right down at the form. “He’s not sick.” He said, which was not really an answer.

“So…?” Nagisa prompted. “Where is he?”

Makoto looked at the empty chair beside him and frowned. “Hiding?” He said quietly. “He’s wandering somewhere. He doesn’t like staying in the classroom when it’s our break. He probably…” He trailed off as his attention went to Rin who was just entering the classroom. “It’s probably nothing much.” He finished unconvincingly.

Nagisa narrowed his eyes at him, but he looked away. “Okay.” He let it slide for now. He took the form and folded it to place it safely in his pocket. He turned to Rin who sat a few chair away. “Rin-chan~” He called out, practically hopping towards the other boy. “Have you given Gou-chan your form yet?” He asked sweetly.

“Yeah,” Rin looked at him, unimpressed look firmly in place. “I’m just there to make up the numbers, okay?”

“Of course!” Nagisa nodded repeatedly. “You’re a great brother, Rin-chan!”

Rin decided to ignore that, judging from the way he looked around instead of replying to Nagisa’s teasing. “Oh.” His neutral face melted into an annoyed, frustrated look. “Haru’s gone off somewhere again.”

Nagisa watched the way Rin stared longingly at the empty seat that was Haruka’s. Ah. That was… somehow expected, but still surprising nonetheless. There was a bunch of emotions passing through Rin’s face, as if he was not sure exactly what he felt. Nagisa felt the urged to hug him. “We’ll ask him to join the swim club too.” He said, making it sound like a random thought rather than the comforting statement he really wanted it to be. “Then we could swim with Haru-chan again.”

“Hm.” Rin looked away and just hummed in thought, as if he did not care at all. “I’m not swimming with you guys.” He added belatedly.

It was painfully obvious how much he cared.

A new bout of determination filled Nagisa. “Well then,” He grinned and patted Rin on the back. “I’ll go back to my own classroom now!”

 

—

 

Haruka refused them upfront. “I won’t join.” He said to the pouting Nagisa. It almost physically hurt him to see Nagisa and Gou make identical disappointed faces at him. But he would rather have this than agree to something as reckless as that. “Find someone else.”

To be honest, he wanted nothing more than to swim in that huge pool. To feel the water mute down everything. It would be so comfortable, being submerged in that large body of water every after school. He yearned for that. But Rin was a member too. Rin would be there beside the pool and the huge cherry blossom tree.

Haruka knew he could not handle that.

 

Despite himself, however, he watched them frantically going around the school. He watched as they tried to convince people into a swim club that does not even have a swimming pool yet. It was futile, he thought. No one liked the water enough to do something like clean the empty damaged pool. Without the immediate reward of swimming in a large pool, there was no way anyone would work that hard. Only swimming maniacs would see the charm in that. And out of the whole school body, only two people sounded like that to Haruka. He was one.

The other was Matsuoka Rin.

Rin who had been trying to corner him since earlier. Who had been looking at him all day. Who had been staring at him as if he wanted nothing more than for Haruka to speak to him. There was something about the way he was always inching closer, about the way his whole face lightened up when Haruka was closer, about the way his body seemed to always be oriented to face Haruka’s direction.

The sad thing was, Haruka was constantly lured closer. It was an instinct. Just like on the first day of class, he wanted to sit by him. He wanted to fall on his arms again. He wanted to hear that soft voice by his ears. He wanted to feel the safety, the warmth, the essence of home.

But he was done hurting Rin. He was done being hurt by Rin.

“Leave me alone.” He gritted out when Rin blocked his way to the door. His eyes were much too cold and his voice was too obviously restrained to show anything but the obvious annoyance.

**I hate you. I hate you so much. Leave me alone.**

Rin showed no reaction to his thoughts. He reeled from the spoken sentence, but it was like he was just flicked on the forehead a bit. Like he was pinched, and not like he was slapped in the face like what Haruka was mentally doing.

**Stop this. Please. Listen to me.**

“You’re so cold.” Rin easily said, sighing dejectedly. “I don’t know what happened to make you so grumpy. You could just sign up your name in the club like how I did, you know?” He said, unaware of the war inside Haruka’s head.

**Listen to me. Stop talking. Just stop.**

“Come on,” Rin poked at his arm. “Speak up. You’re freaking me out.” He looked Haruka straight in the eyes, forehead creased in confusion.

**Why can’t you hear me? Why…**

Haruka stepped back, looking down and clenching his hands into fists. “Just leave me alone.” He said. “You’re annoying.”

**Why did you have to come back, Rin?**

 

—

 

Rin knew the answer now. It was clear as day. After a week of trying to talk to Haruka, it was obvious that he was not feeling sick or anything. He talked to everyone normally. He even smiled at Nagisa once or twice when Rin saw them at the courtyard.

It was simple. Haruka hated Rin. For some reason, he loathed Rin so much that he refused to be in the same room more than necessary. He probably did not want to join the swim club only because Rin was there. He did not want to talk or even _look_ at Rin.

It was annoying.

And frustrating.

And it made Rin want to punch someone.

The worst was, he did not even know why. He hadn’t been here long enough to have done something unforgivable. They were _friends_ , weren’t they? It was past tense now, but they _were_ friends. It was a fact. The top relay record was right there as proof. They were a team. They had _something special_. Rin did not have a word for it, as it was a hazy time in his life, but it was there. Inside his heart, in his mind, there was that sign that reminded him of that every time Haruka was near.

It pained him to think of how much he wanted to get that back. And it pained him more to know that Haruka would never want that.

“You’re as stubborn as ever.” Rin sighed as he walked past Haruka on the hallway. He might as well give up. He did not like how Haruka looked at him, as if he was hurting him just by existing in the same place. That kind of look was too much even for him.

He repeated that thought inside his mind. “Stop obsessing over him.” He scolded himself. _You’re not a stupid teenager in love_. He was going to stop. He was.

And if he ended up watching Haruka’s movement from the corner of his eyes anyway, it was just because some habits are hard to shake off. That was all there was to it.

 

—

 

_Haruka was good at escaping people. It was easy enough when you were quiet and inconspicuous. He could evade classmates who were too clingy or relatives who wanted to know everything about his school life._

_Rin was good at chasing people. He was boisterous and loud and persistent to a scary degree. He seeped under your skin and stayed there without any permission. He could convince you to listen to him if he puts his mind to it._

_“You’re not looking me in the eye at all, huh?” Rin was laughing merrily, moving his head left and right to make Haruka look him in the eye. “Scared?”_

_“I’m not scared.” Haruka glared at him, or at least he tried to. Until he felt that stupid warmth again that assaulted all of his sense. **Stop that.**_

_Rin grinned wider. **But I like you**. His eyes shone with so much happiness. **I want to swim with you.**_

_“I only swim free.” Haruka looked away, unable to keep up with the feelings for that long. How can Rin even have that much emotions? It was tiring just sharing it. Having it first-hand seemed impossible to Haruka._

_“That’s why I said you can swim the freestyle leg!” Rin exclaimed, hands slamming on the desk. “You’re so stubborn, Nanase.”_

**_You’re just annoying._ ** _Haruka looked him in the eye for that. It was a message he could not speak out loud but was always thinking about when Rin was in the vicinity._

_Rin narrowed his eyes at him. “If I don’t understand something, explain it to me.” He said. “Stop pushing me away.”_

_Haruka sighed and stared at his notebook. He was unconsciously drawing cherry blossom trees again. “I’m not.”_

_“Then look me in the eye.” Rin instructed.  
_

_“Fine.” Haruka looked back at him. “What-”_

**_You are beautiful._ **

**_When I first saw you swim, I thought my heart was taken away. It probably was._ **

**_If you swim with me in the relay, I’d be the happiest person on earth._ **

_Haruka closed his eyes, feeling heat rise up to his face. “You’re-” He took a deep breath. “You really do annoy me.” He said. “But…” He opened his eyes, staring right at him. **Thank you.**_

_—_

 

It has been a week. A _week_. Nagisa was already on board the idea of forging Haruka’s membership form and passing it to end their misery. Rin has been increasingly either annoyed or sad _or both_. Gou was getting the full brunt of it, and she looked tired the last time he saw her. Makoto looked like he was hurting every time he saw Rin’s expression.

Haruka accompanied them during lunch sometimes, and he was his usual self. But as soon as Rin was near (and he _always_ knew before anyone when Rin was coming) he would tense up and excuse himself.

Nagisa was so stressed and confused and he wanted to calm down and think things through.

He just wanted all of them to swim together again. Why is that so hard?

With a sigh, he looked up from where he was staring at the grass. He was in the track field again. His classmate, a guy named Ryuugazaki Rei who sat in front of him and never talked to him, was about to pole jump. He stood tall, posture straight and muscles obviously straining for action. With two deep breaths, he relaxed and started running forward.

It was so beautiful, somehow. Nagisa felt the familiar sense of calm wash through him. Serious, hard-working athletes really were great.

Rei pushed the pole on the floor and vaulted himself up, arms splaying on either side as he practically _flew_. The light shone around him as he gracefully passed the bar and fell down on the mat.

It was more than beautiful. It was _exhilarating_ to watch. Something twinged inside Nagisa’s chest.

He stood up and couldn’t help but clap his hands in glee. He might have shouted “Ryuugazaki-kun! Amazing!” too. He wasn’t really sure what happened.

All he knew was that the next moment, he was staring right into violet-colored eyes and he felt everything click into place. Why he always ended up here. Why he felt at ease when watching the athletes practice. Why he felt a bit annoyed whenever Rei refused to talk to him despite them being seatmates.

**Ah,** he thought, **you’re my-**

But before he could finish that thought, Rei was already rushing over him in shock. His eyes were wide and he seemed to be unsure of where to place his hands. “You?!” He asked, _squeaked_ actually. God, why does Nagisa see that as adorable?

Nagisa nodded repeatedly, still staring him in the eye. “Would you like to join the swim club?”

**What?!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you think Nagisa is my favorite character, you are totally right.
> 
> **Next of What was once Lost:** "Swimming Pool Clean-up drive" Nagisa pulls Rei directly into the fold of things. NagiGou continues to con people into obeying their evil wishes. Pool-chan finally makes its grand appearance! (And seduces Haruka into her clutches).
> 
> [FOLLOW ME IN TUMBLR AND LEAVE ME MESSAGES.](moeblobmegane.tumblr.com) I am open to talking about suggestions and stuff.


	3. Swimming Pool Clean-up Drive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei gets taken into the swim club against his will, Aki and Sousuke forms an unholy alliance and Makoto gets a revelation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is long and overdue and really packed with things you probably don't care about. Because, and I say this with utmost apology, this is the chapter where you find out what kind of series this is.
> 
> It's RinHaru, yes. But deep down in its core, this fic is an ensemble fic with everyone interacting and having their own moments. It's MY kind of fic. I'm sorry if you expected laser-focus on RinHaru. I'm bad at focusing on things. There's lots of ReiGisa here and I'm not sure why that happened.

Ryuugazaki Rei has a specific vision of what beauty is. Butterflies, flowers, waterfalls in the middle of the dark forest, an oasis in the desert; these things are _beautiful_. They have the defining trait of making you feel healed whenever your eyes fall on them. They soothe your heart. They trigger happy feelings inside you.

Meeting a soulmate for the first time is one of the most beautiful things that could happen to someone. The books he has read said so. Personal accounts ranged from seeing a sudden burst of light, hearing a chorus of angels singing or seeing flowers bloom. All of it has been carefully studied by professionals and proven as true. There’s a whole scientific body dedicated to studying it.

Rei was ready for it. He even had a script ready. A script that he was supposed to deliver _through his mind_. Because if the “What are soulmates?” books are to be trusted, the soulbond lets you communicate with your partner through _telepathy_. How cool is that? (The coolest.)

 

But no. Of course that would not happen to Rei. (”Curse youuu” was basically his favorite thing to shout in his mind when it comes to luck. He’s got the worst luck in the world. And no, it’s not because he jinxed himself or anything. He was born this way.)

Things did not go as planned.

Nagisa is, first of all, a boy. Rei was so sure that the blonde American woman in his dreams was his soulmate. He had accepted that he would have to go abroad to meet her. He had all these plans for his future. He studied _English_ this summer just for that! Apparently, there was no need to look. His soulmate was his seatmate. His seatmate! For a whole week already!

Second, Nagisa’s first words to him was, out of _everything_ anyone could say, “Would you like to join the swim club?” The swim club! _Why_. He didn’t even say it in his mind. No. He just asked it with this breathtaking wide smile and this loud excited voice.

Which brings Rei to his last point. Nagisa, though obviously painfully confirmed as his soulmate, does not use the telepathy. He seems to like blurting out his thoughts more. Actually, he probably speaks before he thinks. Even the telepathy cannot catch up to his wildness.

God, and he’s really a wild child. In a “let me take you to our upperclassman’s classroom so I can introduce you to everyone!” way. Rei wasn’t even able to say ‘no’. He was too shocked to do anything else.

 

That was why he ended up in the middle of a group of upperclassmen (and another freshman), being appraised like he was some kind of meat on display. Though the apt metaphor might be that he’s being studied like he’s a boyfriend their child brought home.

The metaphor hits too close to home; Rei inwardly cringed at his thoughts.

“You sure about this guy?” Matsuoka-senpai had been glaring at him since he first saw Nagisa drag Rei into the room. It was both scary and… challenging. Rei did not like being looked at like he was an annoyance. It wasn’t like he wanted to be here! He was kidnapped from practice! “Looks like a nerd.” He added, sounding as grouchy as he looks.

Rei gasped, affronted. “Hey!” He stepped forward, just a bit though because _woah_ this senpai has scary teeth that could probably tear him to shreds, and argued indignantly, “Studying is a very important aspect of our lives and we must-”

“Rei-chan, no!” Nagisa slapped him on the back, like they were close friends or something. They were not. Yet. But still.

“Oooh.” Matsuoka-senpai’s sister, a first year like them, Gou?, was grinning at the side with an evil glint in her eyes. “Congratulations, Nagisa-kun!”

Nagisa grinned and high-fived her, saying "Thanks, Gou-chan!"

Matsuoka-senpai looked at them, unimpressed. And then he sighed and said, “Looks like a decent guy.” After a few seconds of watching Rei though, he smirked and his eyes showed an evil glint matching his sister's. “You take care of our Nagisa. He’s gotta be the most tiring kid in existence but hang in there, glasses guy.”

“Rei. My name is Rei Ryuugazaki.” He said defiantly, even though he had a million questions about what the upperclassman said. “I have a name.”

“Ryuugazaki-kun,” Tachibana-senpai, who has been quiet until now, offered him an apologetic smile. “Don’t mind Rin. He’s just a bit… uh,” He threw Matsuoka-senpai a look that was equal parts ‘behave now’ and ‘sorry for what I’m about to say’. “He’s just sad Nagisa-kun might be taken away from us.”

Upon hearing that, Nagisa immediately latched on to Rin’s arm, rubbing his cheek on his sleeves like it was normal, and Rin just- he just looked disdainfully at Nagisa but did not shake him off. It was probably a routine for them. “I won’t leave you guys! I’ll never leave you!” Nagisa exclaimed, to which Rin just halfheartedly pushed him away by his head. (There was a hair ruffling movement before he took off his hand though, so that kind of negated the pushing-away bit, right?)

Rei watched them with a wry twist of his lips. How would he handle these people? “I- I’m not-” What was he supposed to do now, anyway?

Nothing was like what he imagined. He was pretty bad with things he has not imagined. Image training was such an important thing in his life.

He looked Nagisa in the eyes and wondered if Nagisa could hear his thoughts. If Nagisa understood how much he wanted to study the soulbond. If Nagisa understood how much he had wanted to use the telepathy to make things easier for him. (How he had always thought that the telepathy would be a solution to so many problems about communication that he has, deep down.)

“I can.” Nagisa said brightly, eyes wide and so full of happiness. “I can hear you. Loud and clear.”

Rei blinked in confusion, warmth settling in his chest without his permission. “Y-you can?”

“Yup! But you can’t hear me, right?” Nagisa tilted his head to the right.

“No.” Rei shook his head. “I guess… It can work that way, or so I’ve heard.” He did not have enough data on this, to be honest. He was always just concerned about the ‘first meetings’, but never about the subsequent events, about the bond through the years, or even about what other less-popular type of bonds there was. He was too preoccupied with the “beautiful first meeting” to ever dig deeper. (Digging deeper always revealed the ugly side of things, somehow. Rei was wary of that.)

Nagisa looked thoughtful then, just staring at Rei for a while, before he turned to face the others. “We’ll-” He started, but stopped as an idea came to mind. Even without the telepathy, it was easy to read Nagisa. He was practically an open book when you look closely. “Oh. I was about to ask if we could have Rei-chan be a member of the club.”

“I never agreed to that!” Rei had track and field! He was already in a club!

“I _know_. You’re in track and field.” Nagisa said, laughing as he watched Rei’s expression of disbelief. It has only been, what, half an hour at most since they discovered the soulbond and he was _already_ using it to his advantage. What a scary guy. “You can be in both clubs as long as you’re not a captain or an officer. We already have a captain, vice-captain, treasurer and manager. You can be the additional fifth member!”

 **Why would I even want that?** Well, apparently, words were not necessary, so might as well make use of his side of the telepathy while it still works. (Would it fade? He has so much reading to do, it’s ridiculous.)

“Because you want to get to know me! You’d join to get to know me better!” Nagisa stated factually, no shame whatsoever. Matsuoka-senpai facepalmed, Gou stifled a giggle behind a hand, and Tachibana-senpai’s eyes darted to the side as if he wanted to go home right now and get away from this situation.

Rei also wanted to go home now. Why was Nagisa Hazuki his soulmate? Why?

Still, it was true. He barely knew Nagisa, and he wanted to know how this thing works. Nagisa has him in his grip now.

“Fine.” He sighed out. “I’ll join your swim club.”

 

—

 

Gou had things she did not understand about her brother, things she would not ask about, now that she had seen the sorrowful faces he makes when questioned, but there are still things she understood at one glance. He was, deep down, still the same brother she loved ever since she was a child.

Right now, he looked like he was upset about something. Gou was 85% sure it was because of meeting Rei. It was the only reason she could think of. (They did not see Haruka-senpai because he went home before Nagisa could reach the classroom. Haruka-senpai was… the usual reason.)

“What’s wrong?” She asked, watching his face contort in frustration. “You did like Ryuugazaki-kun, right? Nagisa-kun seems to like him enough.”

Rin shrugged. “Well,” He dragged that out for a while, seemingly unsure on how to proceed. “I thought for sure Nagisa was _your_ soulmate and you were just hiding it from me.”

That made her stop.

Just stop. In the middle of the road.

“Eh?”

He turned to her with a constipated look, like he was having a hard time talking about this. “I was wrong, obviously.” He said, looking down and rubbing the back of his neck. “It was just… you were acting as if you were- _you know_ ,” He waved his other hand vaguely. “Reading each other’s minds, or something. You always looked at each other and then you’ll get this smile.” He shrugged again. “It was nice. You were smiling a lot more.”

“Oh.” She couldn’t help but smile at that. “Well, Nagisa is one of my best friends now and I feel like we’re actually twins separated at birth. So that explains that! And,” She bumped her shoulder to his. “We were happier because we got to build a swim club together, with nii-chan. That’s all.”

A soft look settled on his features, the kind of expression that she loves to see on his face. He seldom shows it, so she treasure these moments. As if realizing his face was doing _that thing_ , he looked away and promptly argued, “Even though I’m just a temporary member?”

She rolled her eyes and laughed quietly. “Yes, of course. You’re a temporary member who attends every meeting. I know.” She shot back playfully.

He was still looking away from her as he grumbled, “Whatever” and walked ahead quickly. She followed suit and let the silence linger.

They walked like that for a few peaceful minutes before Rin heaved a sigh and looked at her again. “Is- Does it work like that for everyone?” He asked, voice somewhat tentative and quiet. “The soulbond, I mean. Isn’t the telepathy thing a prerequisite, or something?” He was acting too hard to make it sound casual that it was having the opposite effect. This was a loaded question, she knew immediately.

Gou looked down at the path, trying to remember the things her teachers and classmates used to say. She was never really that interested in it. All of it sounded like fairytales to her, and her mother has always been adamant to tell her that having relationships with people should not be dictated by soulbonds. Their family has never been big on the soulmate thing.

She carefully thought of how to reply.

“I heard the soulbond is just defined by the feeling clicking into place. The acknowledgement that the other person is connected to you. Instincts, I guess?” She glanced at him to see him looking down on the path with a serious expression. “Telepathy is common, but the strength of it is different with each person. I haven’t… I haven’t really looked into it much,” She shrugged nonchalantly. “I’m too young to think of those.”

He huffed out a laugh, probably seeing the irony in that statement. “Nagisa’s the same age as you.”

She shrugged. “It’s different for each person. I’d like to meet mine when I’ve graduated from college.” She smiled when she saw him smirk at that. Of course he’d like her to prioritize school first. That was so like him. She cocked her head to the side, expression turning curious. “Has nii-chan thought about it?”

He stopped for a while, head down and expression blank. Then he turned to her with a pained expression, the very same expression he shows when asked about Australia, but when he answered, his voice was clearly honest. “I don’t want to meet my soulmate soon either. I don’t-” He looked back down to the path and sighed. “They probably would be happier without meeting me right now.”

There were a million things she wanted to say to that. She wanted to argue. She wanted to say “Anyone would be lucky to have you as their soulmate, nii-chan!” or “You’re a great guy!”

But he was her brother and she _knew_ him. What he needed weren’t those words. He needed to see it with his eyes, that he was worth someone’s affection.

And that’s what she’ll have to work towards, right?

 

—

 

Nagisa honestly did not understand what all these hype about soulmates was. He also did not understand how it works, and quite honestly, it seems too difficult and complicated for him to grasp. He would like to just let it be, rather than fry his brain.

What it was to him though, was _warm_. It was a warm, nice feeling. It was like there was something grounding him, like there was a string of safety that gave him confidence to fly. It was a new feeling but Nagisa immediately decided that he wanted to always have it from now on.

That was why he decided to ask Rei to join the swim club. Nagisa wanted everyone special to him in one place: his childhood friends, his new best friend, and now his soulmate.

And well, it was just an added bonus that having Rei in the team meant they could have an official club. (Plus the club budget! It’s probably the most important aspect of the next phase of their plan.) That was a just a lucky coincidence (that he will exploit as much as he can).

 

“Are you going home now?” Nagisa asked Rei as they walked towards the school gate together. It has only been a little over an hour since they discovered the bond but it felt like Nagisa could talk to him easily. Maybe because he knows exactly what Rei was thinking?

Rei nodded. “Aren’t you?” He asked. “We take the same train, right?”

Nagisa grinned at that. “Wah~ You did notice me!” He snickered. “You were always reading something or looking outside or getting off the wrong stop so I thought you just hated interacting with people.”

“I was just busy.” Rei replied primly.

“Eh…” Nagisa slowly nodded. “How about a detour today?” He asked, non-sequitir and all, mostly because he was really excited to know already if Rei would agree to join him. “I’m going to Haru-chan’s house. Um, Nanase-senpai’s house.” He added the last bit to clarify.

Rei frowned at that. “But- Why would I have to join you? Wouldn’t he dislike someone he doesn’t know going to his house?”

“It’ll be okay!” Nagisa said, without any worry. “I want you to meet Haru-chan! He’s an awesome person!”

“But…”

“Please?” Nagisa put his hands together in a pleading gesture. “I would really appreciate it if you join me today.” He added earnestly.

Rei’s frown deepened but he sighed in defeat soon enough. He looked Nagisa in the eye and thought with all his might, **You’re a pushy person aren’t you?**

Nagisa blinked innocently. “I am?” He laughed. “I guess I am. It helps me get what I want so it’s good, right?”

“Well, I guess it’s fine like this.” Rei gripped his backpack strap tighter, taking a deep breath. “Lead the way, then.”

 

It took them 15 minutes to get to Haruka’s house, and throughout that period, Rei tried all kinds of ‘do you hear my thoughts?’ exercises, which got tiring at some point so Nagisa stuck out a tongue and refused to look at him for the last five minutes of their walk. Telepathy gets boring after a while, Nagisa thought. Maybe because hearing Rei’s words out loud was better? Nagisa wanted Rei to talk out loud more and more until they could look each other in the eyes without Rei’s voice resounding inside Nagisa’s head. Rei’s thoughts were so long-winded and complicated, because he seems to think about so many things at once. It made Nagisa’s head hurt.

Maybe that’s why Rei liked the telepathy so much, though. Having that many thoughts at once probably makes it difficult to verbalize everything. Nagisa could understand that at least.

 

“We’re here.” Nagisa pulled Rei’s arm to a stop as they got to Haruka’s house. He held on as he dragged him to the doorstep. He clicked the doorbell with his other hand. “Haru-chan is the best swimmer I know. I want him to know we’re officially becoming a club.”

Rei just nodded, but Nagisa looked him in the eye to read his thoughts. **Is he part of the club, then? Why did we have to go all the way here? How is this person special? Why wasn’t he with the upperclassmen earlier? Is there something- STOP READING MY THOUGHTS.**

Nagisa giggled in delight. “But you’re asking so many questions and I want to answer everything!”

Before Rei could reply to that - well he looked like he _would_ despite being stunned silent by Nagisa’s words - the door of the house opened and Haruka stood there with a confused expression. “Nagisa?” He asked, eyes darting over to Rei for a split second.

“Haru-chan!” Nagisa greeted happily, waving his hand. His other was still gripping at Rei’s arm. “This is Rei Ryuugazaki. My soulmate.” He explained immediately. Being straightforward was the best way to go, after all.

A look of surprise, then pain, then careful blankness passed through Haruka’s face. Other people would not notice all of it, but Nagisa has been by Haruka’s side for a whole week since school started. He’s a connoisseur of Haruka expressions at this point.

Haruka nodded. “Do you want to come in?” He asked, stepping back. “I’ll put the kettle on.”

Nagisa smiled brightly in reply and nodded, dragging Rei inside with him. “Sorry to intrude!” He yelled as he stepped in. Rei quietly said the greeting as well, looking dazed and confused as he got pulled into the living room.

“Why are we intruding here, again?” Rei asked once they were seated. “We’re being a bother. You could have just said what you wanted to say at the door earlier.”

“Well, wouldn’t that be terribly impolite?” Nagisa shot back with an innocent expression.

“ _This_ is terribly impolite.”

“You think so?” Nagisa tilted his head to the right in confusion. “I think it’s just right to talk about this slowly to Haru-chan. I want him to know _everything_!”

“Oh, I give up.”

 

Haruka came back with a tray of tea and rice crackers, everything looking old like how this house does. It was one of the strange charms to Haru-chan. He had a tinge of ‘old man’ in his personality because of how long his grandma took care of him. “What else did you want to tell me?” He asked, cutting down to the chase. He looked resigned to it, like he knew he couldn’t get away from what Nagisa wanted to say.

“Rei-chan would be a member of the swim club.” Nagisa replied. “We finally have five members, so we can fix the swimming pool with the school budget and _then_ we can swim in it again! I was just wondering if…”

“No.”

“Haru-chan! I haven’t told you what I wanted to ask yet!” He was pouting like a child, but he couldn’t help it. Haruka was _so_ stubborn. More so than when they were kids.

“I’m not going to join your club.” Haruka calmly said, sipping on his tea. “You’ve got enough members now.”

Nagisa pouted. “But Haru-chan, _pool_.”

Haruka froze, teacup-holding hand hovering above the table as he looked sharply at Nagisa.

“If you help us clean the pool, we’ll let you swim in it! You don’t even have to join the club! We’ll give you extra service! You can swim in it as much as you like!” Nagisa waited for him to place the teacup down before continuing his sales speech. “And, we’ll leave you to it, I promise. You can swim in it _alone_.” Meaning, without Rin-chan. It was a painful bargain, but they were taking this step by step. Rin-chan would just have to deal with it.

“I’ll think about it.”

That was as good as a yes.

Rei, who was twitching uncomfortably at Nagisa’s side, pinched Nagisa’s leg under the table. Oh. Yeah. There was another thing Nagisa had to do. With a smile, Nagisa tugged at his arm to make Rei look at him. **Why am I here? Why was I even needed here? This doesn’t make sense. I feel like an intruder and-**

“You’re not.” Nagisa said softly, patting Rei’s leg back. “I wanted Haru-chan to meet you.”

“I’m-” Rei spared a glance at Haruka and bowed his head a little. “I’m really sorry for barging in like this in your house. I hope I didn’t make a bad impression, Nanase-senpai.”

Haruka simply blinked at him, shocked. Perhaps, Haru-chan was almost getting used to loud friends and nosy friends who would always barge into his house. Rei must be a gust of fresh air to him. “Take care of Nagisa” was his reply after a whole minute.

Rei looked down, cheeks turning red as he nodded slowly. He looks way more embarrassed now than when he was in front of the other three. Interesting.

Nagisa giggled and slurped his tea in one gulp. “Well then, we should be going now.” He said, taking a few of the rice crackers and placing it in the plastic bag Haruka promptly offered him. “Thank you for everything, Haru-chan.”

 

—

 

It was a joint meeting day, like a prelude to the joint session that would happen a few weeks from now. Though, to be honest, Aki was almost 99% sure that Yamazaki Sousuke just wanted to meet up to get some more information about Iwatobi. The guy was weirdly intense about his questions. If Aki didn’t know about Yamazaki being Rin’s friend, she would probably think Yamazaki was _obsessed_ with Haruka Nanase. The verdict still isn’t out on that one.

So Aki sat on a table at the Samezuka cafeteria, patiently waiting for the vice-captain to finish whatever he was doing at the time.

“Oh~” An orange-haired boy wearing casual clothes stopped right at the side of her table, eyes wide and surprised. “You’re a girl!”

Her eyebrows furrowed immediately. “Yes?”

He grinned. “You don’t study here, do you?”

“Obviously.” She nodded, still confused.

“Ehehe.” He just chuckled, nodding to himself. “Nii-chan said no girls even visited the campus, so I think he’s just not popular at all.” He shared, as if she even knew what he was talking about. He seemed to finally get it though. “Oh! I haven’t introduced myself! I’m Momotaro Mikoshiba, 3rd year middle school!”

“You’re not a student here, either.” She noted, smiling now. This boy was amusing.

“I’m not! I’m just here because of my brother and-”

Before he could finish that sentence, another guy came running in, a panicked expression on his face. He smacked a hand on Momotaro’s head and made him bow down lowly. He bowed the same way. “I’m sorry for bothering you, Yazaki-senpai!”

Oh. A swim club guy. He looked familiar. “He wasn’t bothering me.” She shrugged. It was a nice way to pass time, since Yamazaki was taking his time.

Momotaro did not seem fazed. His whole face was split in that large grin as he pointed to the new guy. “This is Aiichirou Nitori-senpai. My soulmate.” He explained, the picture of happiness and contentment. “I came to visit him because-”

Nitori’s whole face turned bright red. He put a hand on Momotaro’s mouth and flatly said “Nobody cares, Momo-kun.” He dragged the squirming boy away and just nodded once before he disappeared down the hall.

“They’re amusing, aren’t they?”

Aki looked at the other side to see Yamazaki walking to her. “They are. The other one is Captain Mikoshiba’s brother, isn’t he?”

“Yeah.” Yamazaki nodded as he sat beside her. “Acts pretty much the same way, loud and all.” He shrugged. “Anyway,”

She sighed. “On to business. You wanted to ask about Nanase-kun?”

“Not really,” he replied nonchalantly. “I wanted to know if you had any news about their swim club. Gou said Rin joined only in paper.”

She raised an eyebrow at that. “If you’re friends with their team manager, what else could I help you with?”

“Joint practice.” He said. “I wanted to know if we could have a three-way joint practice.”

“That… still doesn’t make much sense.” She argued, confused. “You could have a joint practice without us. You know Matsuoka-kun’s sister. You know Matsuoka-kun. Why would you need us?”

“I don’t want them to know it’s my idea.” He confessed. “It would be safer for you to be a mediator.”

She mulled over those words for a while. “Don’t you have a good relationship with the Matsuokas?”

“I have.” He confirmed immediately. Then, after a beat, he added, “Sometimes it’s safer being a nosy best friend from afar.”

“Oh.” She gaped at him, nodding slowly. “Oh… I understand.” She said. Then, “But!” She raised her index finger, smiling mischievously this time. “I need you to talk to their captain on my behalf. I could talk to Matsuoka-kun’s sister and even Matsuoka-kun, but I want you to confirm with their captain. It’s only respectful to have a representative talk to you, right?”

“Fair enough.”

“Then, it’s a deal.” She stood up, clutching her bag close as she stepped back from the table. “I’ll call you once I’ve set up something with them. I’m sure it won’t be soon, though. They don’t even have a swimming pool yet.”

 

—

 

“Finally!” Nagisa looked around the empty pool, eyeing the damage on the whole thing. There were cracks they had to plaster and some areas that needs fresh paint. They needed to weed out the place too. And then clean the dirt off all the walls.

It was a daunting task.

Rei’s glasses reflected the sunlight when he jumped down the ground to stand beside Nagisa. **Seven feet by twelve feet by seven feet divided by the-**

“Oh my god,” Nagisa moaned, crouching down and clutching his head. “You’re thinking about _bad things_.” Makoto and Gou looked up from where they were already hunched down picking some weeds. Makoto’s whole face turned red as he stared wide-eyed at them, while Gou was looking way too interested by the minute. Nagisa scrunched his nose at them. “I meant _maths_! Maths! Numbers! Not _those_ bad things! Mako-chan, bad!”

Makoto looked away immediately and tried to recompose himself. Gou outrightly giggled while patting him on the back.

“And!” Nagisa glared at Rei, taking a sheet of paper from his pocket and brandishing it in front of his soulmate. “Rin-chan already had all the calculations done. He said he can’t help us clean here, so he wanted to at least do this.” He took Rei’s hand and placed the paper in it. “Though he didn’t say it like that. He was like ‘grrr I was bored so I did some pool calculations alongside my math homeworks because math is super easy grrr’ or something.”

Rei ignored his wonderful impersonation to focus on the paper in his hand. “Wow!” He gasped, clearly impressed. “My view of Matsuoka-senpai might be changing now. This is really good.”

“Oh really.” Nagisa intoned with a bored expression, going off to the side to take a brush from the pile they brought from the club house. “Does that mean you’ll like Rin-chan more than Haru-chan now?”

“I don’t understand where that question came from.” Rei said with clear confusion as he followed suit, grabbing his own brush. “I don’t even know them enough.”

“Eeeh~” Nagisa nodded, kneeling to the side. “I think you’re Team Haru-chan though.” He said honestly. Rei just huffed and pulled at him, bringing him to another side of the pool and muttering about the calculations and how they should clean systematically so as not to waste any effort.

When they were finally in the proper place, Rei looked him in the eyes. **I’m not in any team. I’m not even sure why there are teams. You haven’t told me everything, you know? I’m curious about what’s happening to the upperclassmen and why you’re so affected. I want to know. I want to be able to understand.**

Nagisa smiled at him then, soft and fond in the way he’s been doing for the past days they’ve been getting to know each other. “You will.” He promised. “We’re just going to have to focus on the swimming pools, alright?”

At the corner of his eyes, Nagisa saw Haruka finally walk down to the pool and grab his own brush. Their eyes met for a second, until Haruka looked away with a frown. Hm. Haruka looked _sad_ , in a way he did not usually show unless Rin was near. Weird. Nagisa was sure Rin would not come today.

Nagisa looked at the other people cleaning and saw Makoto watching Haruka as well. He had a small frown on his face and when he looked down, he gripped the weeds harder than necessary.

“We’ll figure things out after the swimming pool gets fixed, okay?”

 

—

 

Rin did not particularly care about cleaning the pool. On the first place, he was not a member of the swim club. Not really. (A member _would_ join in the swimming competitions to win something for the school. Rin had quit swimming. It was a fact. Being in the water was… suffocating.)

But if they asked, if Nagisa and Gou pleaded with their double-puppy-eyes-combo attack, Rin would have agreed to help. It would just be polite to help out, given as his name was in the membership form. Besides, he would want to help out his sister and his friends.

They didn’t ask though.

And it was obvious why.

 

Rin leaned on the rooftop fence, watching as the swim club cleaned the pool and fixed it for use. Makoto and Gou were talking about something and laughing together. Rei was patiently teaching Nagisa how to use his brush in cleaning, with their hands tangled and all. Haruka was cleaning beside them, occasionally glancing to the others and smiling sometimes.

“I don’t get it.” Rin whispered to himself, hand clutching his chest as pain blossomed inside it. He did not understand the feeling he got whenever he saw how much Haruka ran away from him. He has always felt as if it was reminiscent of how Haruka refused to join the relay before, but this was different. Haruka talked to him before. Haruka did not shy away from him like this. Haruka did not look at him with pain-filled eyes every time their eyes met.

Arguably, his memories were not clear enough because that was ages ago. Everything before Australia was a haze of happy childhood memories. Everything in Australia was sharply colored, in comparison.

 

—

 

(A letter two years after Rin transferred to Australia.)

_[Dear Sousuke,_

_I know you’re worried about me. You’ve made your point clear._

_There’s really no need, you know? I’m fine. It’s hard to talk to people, still, and my time isn’t really… my best, but I’m hanging in there. Don’t worry too much. Focus on your own team. You gotta be ready for when I come back, okay? Gotta race with you in a relay, I promise._

_Oh, and you keep on asking about Haruka? What the hell, man? I’m not sure why you do, given how you haven’t met before, but I haven’t seen him in two years! I’m as clueless as you are. Come on, you’re the one in Japan. Do me a favor and ask about him there instead of badgering me about what Haru is doing now. Are you in love with him, or something? That would be weird. He’s always been… out there. He’s curt and talk to me like I annoy him a lot. I don’t even remember why he was so annoyed. Things were so confusing in Iwatobi…_

_Anyway! Take care of Gou for me, okay? I’ll be here for two more years. So, just make sure you hold the post while I’m here._

_Rin]_

—

 

It was honestly getting out of hand, Makoto thought as he looked up at the rooftop to see a red-haired figure watching them. It was the second day he’s seen Rin there. It was a pitiful sight. Makoto hated it. Something had to be done.

“Ne, Haru,” Makoto walked over to his side, picking out the weeds in front of him. “If, say, if…” He took a deep breath. “If Rin-chan joins us in cleaning, would you stop helping?”

Haruka froze, like he always did now when Rin was mentioned, before he frowned and looked down at his brush. “I promised to help.” He said. His face was saying _I want to swim_.

“Then, can I call him now and make him help out?” He asked tentatively. “The more of us helps, the quicker we would finish and be able to fill the swimming pool with water.”

“Okay.” Haruka said easily, even when his shoulder tensed in the ‘getting ready for battle’ way.

Makoto hated to see him like this, but it had been too long. He had to face the music now, while it’s still not too late. “I’ll be right back.” He said, taking out his phone. He shot Nagisa a look, which the younger boy seemed to get immediately. Nagisa nodded in encouragement. So Makoto dialled Rin’s number with steady hands.

“Makoto?” Rin answered in confusion.

“Come down here and help us.” Makoto said, looking up at the rooftop and waving. “It’s probably lonely staying there alone, right?”

“Y-you knew I was here?!” Rin exclaimed, disbelief clear in his tone.

“I think we all knew? Even Ryuugazaki-kun commented about it earlier.” Makoto shrugged.

“I can’t believe this…” Rin groaned. “I’m gonna jump right here and die of embarrassment.”

“You should just help us here.” Makoto said gently. “We’d love for you to help us.”

Rin sighed. “It’s unfair when it’s you talking like that, you know?” He asked, groaning again. “At least with Nagisa I could say no on the phone. But you-!”

“Me?” Makoto asked innocently. “I’m not forcing you though! You could just watch us! If you like that better!” He added in panic.

Rin actually chuckled in response. “I’ll be down in a minute.” It took a few seconds before he spoke again. “Is it okay with Haru?”

“I asked him. He said it’s fine.” Makoto confirmed.

There was a long silence before Rin let out another sigh. Of relief, this time. “Okay.”

 

As soon as Rin came down to help, Nagisa handed him a brush and pushed him towards Rei’s side, explaining briefly that the nerds should join together and conquer the pool. Rin threw Haruka a quick glance before starting with his task. Nagisa continued talking out loud as Rei made increasingly expressive expressions on his face. Rin, at their side, looked like he was torn between being exasperated or being fond. He seemed to settle in with both.

Makoto glanced at Haruka to see him watching the three with this expression… this expression of _raw pain_. Like he was being torn apart just by seeing them talk like that.

It’s been a constant expression on his face when in class, but it has always been subdued. It was a small pang of pain, at most. Every time Makoto saw Haruka and Rin have eye contact, it was always followed with Haruka looking away with a mini version of this.

This one was full-blown. So much pain that Makoto could _feel it_ just from looking at Haruka’s expression.

It was too much.

“Nagisa,” Makoto called out, breaking the bantering happening on the other side. “Can we-” He motioned towards the dirt on his side. “Exchange, maybe?”

Whatever was on his face, Nagisa seemed to understand it was urgent, because he nodded quickly and rushed over to Haruka’s side, chattering about how great it would be to swim in a large pool like this soon. A small amount of tension from Haruka’s shoulders dissipated.

Rin’s gaze lingered at their backs, until Makoto pulled at his sleeve to get his attention. “Hey,” Makoto started, unsure on how to continue. “I- Um,”

Saving him from his misery, Rin started a topic instead. “Haru’s much more quiet now than before.” He said, lips turning down into a frown. “He used to be… He used to talk a lot. I mean, not like he was enthusiastic like Nagisa or particularly gentle like you, but-” He pursed his lips, obviously thinking of a word. “But he still talked to me, you know? A lot.”

He made it sound casual and he shrugged like it was nothing.

Makoto felt his face make an answering frown unconsciously. “Haru-chan has always been quiet.” He explained, voice tinged with confusion. “He’s always been…”

And then, somehow, it clicked into place.

 _Everything_ clicked into place.

“He’s never been talkative.” He said, voice quiet and light as realization dawned on him.

All those staring before. All those times Haruka kept quiet and Rin kept on making communication. All those times Rin had smiled as if he knew exactly what Haruka was thinking.

And then this spring; Haruka running away from Rin. Haruka visibly flinching away every time Rin was near, Haruka’s breakdown on the first day.

Could it be…?

Makoto was not sure if it was possible. He can’t jump into conclusions. He’s watched the two for almost a month now, has religiously taken note of their actions, has been more concerned than anything about their feelings.

He had enough observations to make a guess, but he had little knowledge about _broken bonds_.

 

\---

 

Cleaning was a mechanical chore. Haruka liked it, somehow. The steady up and down motion of the brush that Rei taught them, the movement of taking the space right beside Makoto at all times, the splash of water, the pulling of weeds, the application of plaster. There was no thought needed in it. There was no need to look elsewhere.

It has been three days since they started, and everything was going as planned. They would probably have enough time to fill the place with water by tomorrow.

 

Except, Rei said the taboo words.

Rei _actually_ said the taboo words. Nagisa gasped in shock and Makoto dropped the garbage bag he was holding. Gou moved over to Rin’s side as if that would prevent her brother from doing anything drastic. Haruka and Rin _froze_.

“I don’t get why you like swimming.” Rei had said, completely oblivious to everyone’s reactions. “Humans aren’t made to stay underwater. We specifically evolved to be _above_ water and breathe in air.

“ _Swimming isn’t beautiful at all_.”

Rin let out an angry growl at that, glaring daggers at the unsuspecting Rei. Haruka narrowed his eyes and started scrubbing faster.

“We’ll show you what’s beautiful.” Rin retorted, following after Haruka’s example and scooping out weeds faster than normal.

There was no need for words or eye contact. Haruka and Rin moved in perfect sync. Haruka brushed dirt off and Rin scooped out the remnants that fell on the floor. Haruka pulled out weeds and Rin swept all of it into a garbage bag. Haruka plastered the walls. Rin painted everything.

Nagisa, Makoto and Gou looked on in fascination. Rei was too shocked to react. Haruka had the biggest urge to look up and smile at Rin, but tamped down on the feeling. He just looked down on the ground and counted his breathing, forcing himself to calm down.

 

In the end, with Haruka and Rin sitting on either side of the pool, panting tiredly with sweat pouring down their foreheads, the task was finished. They could ask the maintenance to fill it now so they can swim properly tomorrow.

 

\---

 

The next day, everyone was excited. You could feel it in the way they all greeted each other, in the easy smiles on their faces. Rin was… he was excited too, for more reasons than the others. He felt like something had changed yesterday. It was a step forward, or at least it felt that way.

Haruka did not yet open the door for him, but it seemed like he cracked a window open. A small chance, yes, but a chance nonetheless.

 

Swimming in the pool they all cleaned together felt like a bigger step. Rin was excited to make it.

As soon as the bell rang, Rin glanced over to Makoto and Haru to see them preparing their bags already. Rin shoved his things down his and rushed over to their side. Haruka was _swimming_ with the others today. Rin would be able to see him swim.

“Are you sure?” Makoto was asking, eyebrows furrowed in concern as his eyes darted around Haruka’s face.

Haruka just nodded. “Just for a bit.” He said. He did not look up even when Rin was already beside them.

“You’re all swimming, then?” Rin asked, stopping just beside Makoto.

“Us?” Makoto looked even more worried now. Why was he so worried? “You’re not swimming?”

Rin shrugged. The water was… the water made him think of drowning, of darkness, or voices calling after him from far away in his nightmares. The water was suffocating and dangerous. “I’ll just watch.”

Makoto stared at him for a few seconds before nodding. “Right.” He bit his lip and shot another worried glance at Haruka. “Okay.” He sounded like he was psyching himself. “Let’s go.”

 

As soon as Haruka saw the water-filled pool, his expression changed to a look of utter amazement. His eyes shone like they haven’t in a while, and his movement became faster. Rei, Gou and Nagisa were already at the side of the pool, talking amongst themselves.

Rei was the first person to look up, expression challenging as he said, “Nanase-senpai-”

But he wasn’t able to finish that sentence. Haruka was already moving forward, hands nimbly unbuttoning his shirt and throwing it aside. It was like a super fast-forward strip show. Rin may have stopped in his tracks and _stared_. Gou audibly gasped at the side, a dreamy sigh escaping his lips right after. Nagisa was clapping in glee. Makoto just sighed the sigh of the long-suffering.

As soon as Haruka had his pants off - he was wearing his swimsuit underneath the whole time, _what the actual hell_ \- he dived right into the water, water splashing all around him.

It was… _beautiful_. That’s the only term Rin could think of. The splash of water reflected the light and it was like, for a moment, Haruka was bathed in pure white light that made him look even more ethereal.

Rin felt his heart skip a beat.

 

Once the shock had worn off, Rin threw Rei a smug grin and watched as Rei’s face go through different emotions. He was shocked, just as they were, but then his eyes sparkled in clear admiration. He opened his mouth to speak, but all he could do was gasp.

“Not beautiful, huh?” Rin asked, still grinning as he walked over to Rei’s side. “What d’you think?”

“Nanase-senpai is…” There was a faint blush on his cheeks as he shook his head as if to recompose himself. “That was amazing!” He said, still breathless.

“Right?” Rin agreed, going back to watching Haruka. He took a deep breath and let it out in a slow exhale. “It makes me want to swim with him, just to see…” He murmured.

 

\---

 

_“I’m going to Australia.” Rin smiled sadly at Haruka, eyes clear as he stared right back. **I’m sorry. I’ll miss you. But I need to do this.**_

_Haruka was quiet for a while, looking down to think on his own. “What about the relay?” He brought his gaze back to Rin’s. **Why? I don’t care. I don’t want to care. Why? Why did you do this to me? I don’t care. I don’t want to care. Why would leave us behind? Why would you leave me behind? I don’t care!**_

_Rin flinched, taking a half step back as if burned. He might as well have been. “I’ll do the relay, of course.” He answered honestly. “My flight is schedules after the relay.” **Believe me, Haru. I need this. I don’t want to leave you, but… It’s my dream. I’ll come back. Don’t-**_

_Haruka clenched his fists at the side, staring hard at Rin. **Liar! You did this! You- Don’t make promises you can’t keep. You did this to me. You made me accept you, and for what? I don’t care. Go away, for all I care. ~~don’t go don’t go please don’t go~~. I DON’T CARE.**_

 

\---

 

Rin watched in awe as Haruka swam underwater with ease. He looked so graceful. Like he was born to be underwater, like he was a creature of the sea and not human like them. That would explain a lot, actually. Haruka was way too beautiful to be normal.

“Why don’t you swim with him, then?” Rei asked in confusion. “You swam in a relay together before, right? Nagisa-kun told me.”

“I-” _I don’t like the feeling of the water around me, it reminds me of things that hurt me_ , he would have said. But Haruka was swimming in front of him right now with a look of peace, of ease, that made Rin jealous. It made Rin want to try again. “I could ask him.”

“Nanase-senpai!” Rei called out, waiting until Haruka was above the water to say, “Matsuoka-senpai said he wanted to-”

A look of shock passed Haruka’s face, before it closed off completely. “No.” He said lowly. “I- I’m getting out.” He waded towards the other side of the pool.

“No need!” Rin spoke up immediately, forcing cheer into his words despite the deep prickle of pain in his chest. “I’m going home now, anyway. The pool looks awesome.”

He walked off, hearing Haruka splashing deep into the water again.

It felt weird. He wasn’t in the water, but he still felt like he was drowning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw me and Naya decided we wanted to have a Makoto-centric spinoff after this is finished. Because of reasons.  
> Follow me on [tumblr](moeblobmegane.tumblr.com) for assorted Free! ficlets and random anime posts.
> 
> At the moment, we have 3 confirmed soulmates. I would _love_ it if you talk to me about which other soulmates you could guess. And about literally anything about the story, to be honest. Nothing energizes me more than specific comments ;u; I will _try_ to write faster, but I can't make any promises. Since I have a life outside of writing fic, and all.
> 
>  **Next on What was Once Lost:** What happened _during_ Australia is revealed, Sousuke makes a move, Rei needs to learn how to swim and literally no one can teach him, and Makoto also makes a move.


	4. I Had a Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that I'm weak, and that I have a real life and real problems. Please don't kill me.

_Everything was hazy, like a heavy fog was surrounding him, concealing where he was and who else was here. Rin stepped forward slowly and looked around. There were shadows, movements. Someone else was here, but Rin can’t remember- can’t think- Nothing made sense._

_Where was he? Why-_

_“Rin,” The voice was familiar. It was full of worry and concern, and Rin felt like that should surprise him, like this voice was usually without any of these emotions. “Rin, please,”_

_“No.” That was his own voice. Younger, so much younger than now. Hurt, too. Quiet and broken in a way that he hasn’t been since his dad died. “I’m quitting.” He said. “Everything. All of this.”_

_There was a sharp intake of breath from the other person, and then the sound of something falling down. “Why- You said-”_

_“I can’t do this,” It was choked off with too much emotions. Rin has never heard himself speak like this. Never. In his entire life. “Haruka, I **can’t** -”_

_And with that sobbed out word, everything faded to black._

He registered the screaming and the pain even before he realized it was his own. He was screaming, crying, thrashing on his bed. He clawed at his own chest, begging for it to stop. _**Please** , please make it stop. Please take it all away._

It hurts. Everything hurts. He could not breathe. The darkness… The darkness was pulling him down, drowning him.

And then he felt warmth. Warm arms wrapping around his body, as if to shield him, as if to protect him from the pain.

His mom. She was on his side, pulling him so that his whole weight would fall on her smaller body.

“Everything’s going to be okay, baby.” She whispered, combing her hand on his hair gently like how she did when he was just a child. “It’s gonna be okay.”

He clung on to her, sobbing louder as his whole body shook. “Mom, mom…” He cried out. “Make it go away, _please._ ”

Her hand stilled. “Rin,” When she spoke, it was too soft and careful, like she was afraid just one word was going to break him. “Rin, you’re safe. I’m here. Nothing’s going to happen.”

“But-” He shook his head repeatedly, making a wounded sound. “It _hurts_.”

“I’ll do something, okay? We’ll do something.” She said reassuringly. “You need to go back to sleep right now. You need to rest.” She rubbed his arm and pulled away, gently pushing him to his pillow. He made a sound of protest but she shook her head, hand going back to combing his hair. “I’ll stay here. I promise.”

It was childish and weak, but he needed that. He nodded. “Thanks, mom.”

\- - -

_The nightmares were part of his experience in Australia. Maybe it was because he was homesick, or because his days were just filled of things that made him internalize too much sadness. Nightmares happen a lot when you’re stressed, right? Or when you’re thinking too much before you sleep?_

_Still, these nightmares didn’t feel that way. They were too real, too tangible, too painful._

_When he woke up, his skin would feel cold as if he was submerged in water and his lungs would constrict painfully as if he really was on the verge of drowning just a few minutes ago. His whole body would hurt._

_And he would wake up crying, every single time. Tears and shouts, the whole package._

_His roommate would tell him to quiet down and get out if he would make a racket. With shaking limbs, he would jog outside and tire himself out enough to clear his mind and have a dreamless sleep._

_It was the cherry on the top of the fucked up thing that was his life._

\---

“I’m going on ahead.” Gou said as soon as Rin went to sit on the dining table. She took her bag from the side and smiled at him. “You’re going to be alright on your own?” She asked, grinning teasingly.

He quirked an eyebrow. “Why are you going ahead? I can-”

She raised a hand to stop him. “I promised Nagisa-kun and Rei-kun that I’ll accompany them to school. To stop Rei-chan from using the telepathy. And make him use his words.” She giggled, amusement clear in her tone. “I’m now their _love guru_.”

“Okay…” He nodded, eyeing her with an unimpressed expression. “That does sound like Nagisa.” He mused. Then, sighing, he added with feigned seriousness, “Run away at the first sign of danger.”

She laughed and rolled her eyes. “I’ll be fine.” She huffed. She made to leave, but then stopped and stared at Rin’s face scrutinizingly. “You’re going to be fine, aren’t you?” There were dark circles under his eyes, like he didn’t sleep properly last night. He was a bit pale; not as full of energy as usual.

This time, he was the one who rolled his eyes. “ _Little sister,_ ” He intoned it with so much emphasis. He has always been adamant about it. He is her big brother, and he would always protect her. It was a constant for her, growing up. “Don’t worry about me.”

“But-”

“Gou,” Their mother called out from the kitchen. As always, it sounded a touch bored and a touch amused. “Don’t keep your friends waiting.”

Her eyes immediately darted over to the clock on the wall. “Oh!” She pulled her bag on and waved one last time before rushing over to the door.

Before getting out of the house though, she heard the “Thanks, mom” her brother said. _What was that about?_

—-

Rin took his time eating, savoring the quiet but comfortable breakfast with his mom. They never really talk about his nightmares, but his mom would always be there to eat with him every morning after one. It was a small gesture to comfort him, he thinks.

After that, he said goodbye and kissed her on the cheek, letting the gesture show how grateful he was.

“Took you long enough.”

He looked towards the gate, eyes widening as he saw one Sousuke Yamazaki leaning on the railing. “Sousuke!” He exclaimed, surprise clear in his tone.

Sousuke simply nodded his head in greeting. “Good to see you’re still alive.” He said mildly as he straightened up and stepped back away from the gate.

Rin wanted to pout, but instead he bowed his head a bit. “I’m sorry.” He said. He was sorry. Everyone knew he was bad with checking on people. Sousuke himself called him self-centric before. It was just one of his many character faults. If anyone would understand, it was Sousuke. “I was… uh, busy.” He walked over and opened the gate, stopping by his side.

“It’s fine.” Sousuke shrugged it off easily, just as Rin predicted. He walked forward, eyeing Rin expectantly. “Gou told me about you joining the Swim Club.” It was nonchalant enough to make it sound like a random comment.

_Suspicious_. Rin narrowed his eyes. “In paper _only_.” He clarified.

“Hmmm…” Sousuke hummed in thought. “Is that so?”

Rin continued narrowing his eyes at him. “Why are you here, Sousuke?” It was too out of the blue. And it was a day when Gou wasn’t here either. The more Rin thought about it, the more it sounds like a planned-out event than an incidental visit.

Sousuke raised an eyebrow at him, almost challengingly. “Can’t I just visit my best friend?” He asked, blinking innocently.

“Stop that.” Rin scrunched up his nose and kicked at Sousuke’s shin. “You look weird when you do that. You’re never innocent.”

Sousuke answered that with a smirk and silence as he looked around, as if cataloguing the roads they were passing by. They passed through places they used to hang around in when they were kids: the small park, the old empty factory, the store with the old scary woman.

It was nice, remembering those days. Those things were so clear, so filled with childish energy, so unlike Rin’s other memories that were muted in a way he was never able to understand.

“So, you’re never going to swim again?” Sousuke asked, when they were just a few blocks away from where they would separate paths to their respective schools. “Just like that?” It was also casual, no inflection whatsoever.

Rin looked at the ground, shrugging. “I could.” He answered quietly, honestly. “I could continue not swimming. I _could_ start swimming again.” He sighed, and this one was heavy with exhaustion. “I honestly have no idea.”

“What’s stopping you?” The casualness was gone. Instead, Sousuke’s whole being suddenly seemed tension-filled. With a serious, almost-whisper, he asked, “Is it Nanase?”

That surprised Rin into speechlessness. “Huh?” His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Is-” Sousuke let out a breath, visibly trying to calm himself. The tension bled out just like that. He was clearly hiding something, but Rin could not point out what it was about. “Are you okay?” He asked, sounding more worried than anything.

“I’m _fine_.” Rin said, exasperated. “I’m alright. What the hell is with everyone asking me that?!” He stepped forward, away from his best friend, hiding his expression as best as he can. “And nothing is stopping me. It’s my own issue. I just have to prepare myself if ever I want to swim again. I’ll solve it on my own.”

Sousuke stared at him for a moment before nodding his head, conceding to his point. He then followed after Rin in silence, walking a few steps behind him as if to give him the space he needed. “I’ll go this way.” He called out, stopping on the street corner.

Rin looked back at him, expression schooled into its usual blankness now. “Right.” He nodded. “I’ll, uh, call you.” He finished lamely.

“Right.” Sousuke echoed, offering a teasing smile to lighten up the atmosphere. “ _I’ll_ call.” He said, more coolly and more sincerely than Rin did. “See you.” He nodded once before walking away.

Rin watched him go, staring at his back in confusion. “Why did he walk with me, then?” He wondered out loud.

—-

The group was halved today in the Rin-faction and the Haruka-faction again. Well, it looked like that to Nagisa anyway, even if Nagisa considered himself part of both teams. Makoto was with Haruka today, having insisted that he needed to have a serious talk with his best friend alone. Nagisa, Gou and (begrudgingly) Rei all pulled Rin away from the room to make him sit with them in the rooftop.

“Isn’t it weird?” Rin asked, opening his packed lunch with his right hand and then motioning towards the three of them with the lid. “With the whole _new soulmates_ thing.”

Nagisa frowned, unsure of what that meant. Gou seemed to be confused as well.

Rei, though, nodded in understanding. Rei and Rin were similar in so many ways that it scares Nagisa sometimes. “Having Gou-san around actually helps us communicate better, because it feels like a normal gathering of friends and we get to know each other in a way that doesn’t feel forced.” He explained, doing the push-glasses-up action immediately after, like the huge nerd that he was.

“Sshhh!” Nagisa raised his index finger at Rei, frowning. “When you think about those things, you start going all _blah blah theory this, relationship advice from this book that_. No! It’s banned!”

As if just to be contradictory, Rei stared him in the eyes and thought, **When I was young, I got so excited about Santa that I slept behind the Christmas tree and then my mom got angry at me the next day and I got sick and-**

Instead of how Rei expected him to react though, Nagisa smiled softly and said, “I like these thoughts one hundred percent more.” He was honest about it. Rather than information about soulmates, what he wanted to do was get to know Rei more.

And, of course, Rei’s whole face turned red in embarrassment. He was surprisingly shy when it came to these things. Nagisa loves it.

“Ugh.” Rin groaned, hiding his face on his arm and putting down his lunch on the floor. “You’re nauseating. How do you put up with this?” The last part was aimed at his side where his sister was.

“It’s cute.” Gou said, almost cooing as she watched Rei blush some more. “It’s nice, seeing people find each other like this.”

Rin just shoveled more food in his mouth, focusing on his lunch and ignoring the sappy smiles on the other three.

It was actually adorable how much he was trying not to be swayed. Nagisa had this huge urge to pinch his cheeks. But then again, he had something more important to do; like figuring out Rin’s view on soulbonds. It was apparently a very sensitive topic. Gou had helpfully explained about it. It was not exactly a taboo, but something close.

_Indirect tactic, then?_

“Speaking of soulbonds,” He winked at Gou, who straightened up and nodded just a bit in acknowledgement. Rei looked at him as well. Okay, let’s do this! “I wanted to ask-”

“Hey!”

Before Nagisa could start his indirectly-talk-about-soulbonds-in-front-of-Rin-chan plan, Makoto came running towards them with a panicked expression, eyes wide and breath coming out in heavy exhales. Rei was the first one to react. “Tachibana-senpai? What happened?”

Makoto raised both hands, still panting. He must have ran all the way from the classroom. “I- I need to borrow Rin.” He said in between deep breaths. “Can I?”

“Take me away.” Rin nodded and quickly packed his things. “I’ll throw up from watching Nagisa make those eyes at Rei.” He scrunched up his nose and shuddered.

“Hey!” Nagisa pouted. “Rude!” But he let him go and just made shooing motions towards Makoto. “Teach him your ways, Mako-chan. Make him a well-mannered young man like you.”

Rin actually glared at Nagisa and sneered. Nagisa stuck out his tongue at him playfully.

Makoto sighed in relief as he pulled Rin towards the stairs. He smiled gratefully at Nagisa and snatched Rin away.

“Well,” Nagisa started, looking at the other two. “That was weird.”

“Our plan didn’t work.” Rei said sadly, head already filling up with the research he did on soulbonds. **Soulbond telepathy could be one-way, two-way, or non-existent. It had never been a prerequisite to the Soulbond, though it is considered the easiest way to confirm the existence of Soulbonds. Two-way telepathies are rare and are usually strong from the onset. Physical reactions exists outside the mind. There is a misconception that they are prevalent due to the amount of media-exposure given to that type, but they are actually found on only one out of a hundred thousand people. One-way bonds, on the other hand-**

Nagisa groaned and looked at the floor instead. As much as those things are interesting, his head already hurt from the information overload. “Rei-chan is _so_ weird.”

—-

Makoto walked beside Rin nervously, hands twitching at his side. “Um, I wasn’t really thinking when I called you out.” He said, looking down. “I was just-”

“Saving me from dying from over-exposure to romance?” Rin asked, eyebrow raised.

That was actually closer to the truth than Rin could ever imagine. It could even be counted as the true reason. _Saving you from exposure to a fully-realized bond_ , Makoto thought sadly. “I wanted to ask about Yamazaki-kun.” He made-up on the spot. It was legit too, in a way. He had received a text message earlier from the boy so he had every reason to talk to Rin about him, right?

“Sousuke?” Rin asked, more confused now. “Why would you want to talk about Sousuke?”

It was difficult to think of a proper excuse. For all intents and purposes, Sousuke’s message had a clear ‘do not tell Rin any of this’ label. Like Makoto, it seems that the boy is also looking through things his own way. After a pause too long, he said, “He sent me a mail”, trying for casual and barely making it. “Just asking how we are here in Iwatobi. We met before, so-”

“You’ve met?” Rin asked, stopping in his tracks. “Really?”

_Oh_. Makoto stopped as well and felt his heart beating faster in fear. He did not want to mess this up. He did not want to hurt Rin. “Just in competitions.” He shrugged it off. “I actually haven’t seen him, just talked to him while, uh, someone else was talking to him from the other side of the lockers.” Rin had been talking to Sousuke then, but Rin probably doesn’t remember it as well as Makoto did. He did not want to risk triggering anything for Rin.

“Huh.” Rin nodded, eyes getting a glazed look. “In the relay we won…”

“Ah!” Makoto slapped a hand on his back. “Tell me about him! About how you grew up! I’m- uh, curious!” He was obviously panicking, but he wanted to stop it. He would do anything just to stop Rin from getting hurt like how the stories went.

Rin looked at him weirdly, but his eyes got clearer, as if he had snapped off his daze. “Okay?” He said slowly. “Where are we going, anyway?”

Makoto sighed in relief and pointed to the courtyard. A perfect place away from the first years and away from Haruka as well. He would listen to Rin’s stories, gather where the memories were fuzzy and where they were clear. He would get Nagisa in on the plan when the situation was more definite. For now, he was on his own.

—-

_There was a certain solidarity you feel when you experience something similar with someone. For example, when you like something or you hate something, it is easier to start conversations. In the same way, experiencing loss or failure together somehow can bring two people together into friendship._

_That was exactly what happened to Sousuke and Gou. Being left behind by Rin so suddenly, they turned to each other. Gou filled the empty space beside Sousuke that was reserved for his best friend, and Sousuke filled the duties of the big brother Gou was missing. It started as a way to comfort each other, but it quickly evolved into genuine friendship._

_"Did you receive one?" Gou asked, climbing her bed with less grace than usual. She was excited, okay? This was one of her favorite days, the day when the mailman leaves Rin’s letters on their mailbox. Sousuke always comes by when he receives one, so they could read their letters side by side. "I have a separate one from mom’s, because i wrote him a letter!"_

_Smiling, he stretched his limbs on either side of the bed, getting comfortable like he owns it. “Yeah. It’s a short one, though.”_

_A frown appeared on her face as she lied on her side. Supporting her head with her right hand, elbow on the bed, she used her other hand to snatch the white envelope on his chest. “How short?” She opened it without any hesitation, already used to the task. Her frown deepened. “That is… Uh,”_

_He nodded, frowning as well. He took her letter and opened it like how she did his. “Yours too, huh.”_

**_[Gou,_ **

**_You don’t have to study English to talk to me. Of course I still know Japanese. Don’t listen to Sousuke, he’s an idiot. I’m fine. Things are good here. You don’t have to worry about me. Just take care of yourself and mom. You’re the only one mom has right now._ **

**_Sorry, this will be my last letter in a while._ **

**_Big brother.]_ **

****

**_[Sousuke,_ **

**_I’m sorry._ **

**_Things are really hard here, but I’m trying. I won’t be able to write in a while but don’t worry. Take care of my sister for me, okay? Good luck on your practices. Congratulation on winning the competitions. It seems like you’re getting farther and farther away from me._ **

**_Rin.]_ **

_Gou clutched the letter closer to her chest, plopping down on her back and staring at the ceiling. “It doesn’t sound alright at all…”_

_"He doesn’t want you to worry." Sousuke tapped her hand and took his letter back, folding it neatly and pocketing it immediately. "He’d punch me if he knew I showed you my letter."_

_Gou pouted, still staring at the ceiling in a mixture of anger and worry. “I just want to know what’s happening to him.” She grumbled. “He should lean on me sometimes too.”_

_"You’re the little sister"_

_She faced him and narrowed her eyes. “Stop sounding like my brother.”_

_He just huffed out a breath and reached out a hand to ruffle her hair fondly. “He’ll be fine. You know him. He can push through anyone.”_

_Upon hearing that, her expression softened. “Yeah, I know. It’s his superpower.”_

_"He’ll be fine." He repeated, as if to convince them both. And during that time, they were convinced. Rin was a superhero in their eyes. He can do anything._

 

\---

 

Aki had ideas on how to make Haruka swim with them again, starting with wheedling information from Sousuke. That plan worked in her favor seeing as she was also able to get information about the two Matsuokas, and about Samezuka’s plan for a three-way joint session. With all these neatly tucked in her mind, she found the confidence to start contacting her old Swim club friends. Since Makoto was assigned to Sousuke for now, and he was too close to Haruka, Aki decided to contact the closest person to her in the group.

That seemed to be the best idea. Nagisa was open to communications immediately, enthusiastic about the proposal for a joint practice. He was kind enough to give their manager’s e-mail address so she could contact Gou herself.

 

She remembers Gou as that adorable little girl who got lost once in the old Swim Club, a really cute person who called Aki “nee-chan” and asked her for help. Even though she was just younger by almost two years, Aki remembers her as someone to take care of. Seeing her after 5 years was something Aki really wanted to do.

“Aki’nee-chan!” The redhead smiled widely at her, sliding over to the seat in front of her in the booth. Piyo’s, the diner in front of Samezuka and Sera, has nice comfortable orange booths that offer at least a semblance of privacy, which is why this seemed like the perfect place for the meeting. Besides, it was a great chance to run into the Samezuka Swim Team. It felt like neutral ground. “Do you remember me?”

Aki nodded enthusiastically. “Of course!” She replied. “It’s nice to see you again, Gou-chan.”

“I was so surprised when you suddenly sent a message!” Gou exclaimed. “Did you hear from Makoto-senpai? We’ve only just fixed our pool, but we’ve got all our members and all.”

Aki knew that it was too cold to practice, seeing as it was still the start of spring. She caught Haruka sneezing earlier and Makoto scolding him about insisting on trying the pool even in this weather. It was another reason why she was sure a joint practice would be a good deal for the Iwatobi SC. Sera had an indoor pool, and so did Samezuka. “I heard about the club from Makoto but actually, I’ve been in contact with Nagisa.” She explained. “Just e-mails. I asked about your number from him. I wanted to talk to you.”

Gou blinked in confusion for a few seconds before she asked, “This isn’t about the joint practice?”

“Oh, it is!” Aki confirmed, trying to soothe her. “I’ve talked to Nagisa-kun but there were some things I needed to know from you, if it’s okay?”

“Okay…” Gou looked increasingly worried.

“One of the reasons why we’re so interested in having a joint session with Iwatobi is because of your brother.” She explained quickly, just to get that over and done with. It was easier to talk if everything was out in the table. “Not to mention, personally, I really want to see how their relay team would fare now. Except…” She let her gaze go sharp as she watched the other girl. “I heard Matsuoka-kun hasn’t properly joined the team?”

Gou’s expression fell, as if she didn’t want to talk about this at all. Aki felt pretty bad about it. A smile was better on Gou’s face. “Well, he does always say he’s only a member on paper. He hasn’t swam in the pool either…” She muttered listlessly, more to herself than anything. But after a few seconds, she looked up with a more determined expression and said, “Don’t worry! My brother is just being stubborn. I’ll convince him soon enough.” She offered a bright confident smile.

Aki laughed softly, glad for the lightness of her expression. Nagisa had told Aki about how Gou had grown up into an awesome person, and that she was more than capable of handling their situation in Iwatobi. “If you say so.” She nodded. “I’d trust you and Nagisa-kun with that, then.”

 

They ordered a pair of parfait and some fries before going to the more formal talks about when the joint session would happen and where, including the kinds of swimmers they have and what kind of training menu they are using. Given how young the Iwatobi Swim Club was, most of the information was still a bit vague though. They decided to just meet next week for the more specific data. The conversation quickly devolved from there to their current high school lives and reminiscing about the days they spent together in the swim club whenever Gou visited the place.

In the middle of a story about Aki’s first time seeing Haruka swimming, a voice called out from the side of the diner, effectively stopping both to look. “Aki-san!” The voice came from a familiar middle school boy running towards them. “Aki-san!”

“Momo-kun, don’t run!” A tired-sounding boy was following him at a much slower pace.

“Oh!” Aki smiled as she recognized the two. “Mikoshiba Momotarou and Nitori-kun, right?” She asked as soon as the two were at their side. Seeing them nod, she looked around and noticed how packed the diner has gotten. She got out of the booth, taking Gou’s side to offer the other seat to the two. “Do you want to sit down?”

“Thanks.” Nitori pushed Momo to the booth and bowed his head a bit at Aki. “We’re sorry for barging in like this.”

Aki just waved that off. “Oh by the way, this is Gou Matsuoka. She’s the manager of the new Iwatobi Swimming Club.”

Momo’s eyes were wide as he leaned in. “Hi! I’m Momotarou Mikoshiba! Nice to meet you!” He offered his hand, enthusiastic as always. Gou shook it slowly, looking bewildered. “You’re really cute!” Momo added with the same level of enthusiasm. His eyes widened after a beat though, looking to the other boy at his side and taking his hand off Gou’s. “Just an observation, though!” He clarified vehemently.

“Um,” Gou blinked at him, obviously unsure of how to react. “Thanks?” She said, tilting her head to the right and glancing over to the other boy who was simply smiling at her without any reaction to Momo’s outburst.

“I’m Aiichirou Nitori.” He said. “Please ignore his weirdness.” He apologized, motioning to Momo.

Gou laughed then, shrugging. “I’m used to weird.” She said. “Ah, may I ask if…?” She glanced at the two, contemplating the question.

“They’re soulmates.” Aki confirmed, smiling as Momo grinned widely and Nitori blushed a bit. “Ah, and Nitori-kun is from the Samezuka Swimming Club.”

“Oh!” Gou brightened immediately. “You’re Sou-chan’s club mate, then?”

Nitori smiled wider as well. “Yes! You’re friends with Yamazaki-senpai?”

“I’ve known him since I was a kid.” Gou explained. “He’s my brother’s best friend.”

“Matsuoka… Oh!” Nitori looked like Christmas came early with the way he leaned forward and his whole expression became positively blinding. “You’re Rin Matsuoka’s brother! I’m…” He blushed a bit. “I’m a fan? I’ve idolized him since I saw their relay back in elementary. He’s the reason why I decided to swim.”

Momo watched this exchange with interest, narrowing his eyes at his soulmate before pouting like a kid. “He sounds amazing.” He muttered. “Makes sense that your first love was such an amazing person, Nitori-senpai.”

Nitori turned red to the roots of his hair, hand slapping on Momo’s mouth to stop him from saying anything more incriminating. “Momo-kun! What did I tell you about saying whatever you hear out loud?” He hissed, eyes trained on the younger boy and trying so hard not to look at the two other people at the table.

As soon as Nitori let him go, his shoulder slumped and he said, “I’m sorry.” He was still obviously sulking though.

Gou wasn’t really sure how to react to any of it. Aki, on the other hand, laughed and reached over to pat Nitori on the arm. “Don’t worry, Nitori-kun. Half of our batch was in love with Matsuoka-kun too. He’s just that kind of guy, isn’t he?”

Still blushing, Nitori nodded slowly.

Aiming to get the awkwardness completely out of the way, Aki looked at Gou and added, “The other half was in love with Makoto-kun or Haruka-kun. Those three were the most popular guys in our class. You’re pretty lucky to be surrounded by those guys. I bet everyone’s jealous of you.”

Gou laughed then, and Nitori visibly became more at ease. “I think they aren’t as popular as before. Besides, none of them would believe that.” She sighed. “Especially my brother.”

Momo, seemingly recharged from his moment of sulking, leaned forward again. “Tell me everything about your brother! Is he really amazing?”

“Scoping out rivals, huh?” Aki said amusedly.

“Yep!” Momo nodded in agreement. Nitori grimaced and hit him on the arm, but Momo continued looking at Gou expectantly. “Tell me! Tell me!”

From there, the conversation turned into a weird question and answer portion regarding Rin and the Iwatobi SC. Gou told them about basic things, like how long Rin was in Australia and how long he’s been back. Of course, she did not mention anything regarding his refusal to swim or be an official member. That was private, and besides, saying that out loud felt like it would jinx her chance of convincing him otherwise. Momo seemed content with this, anyway. Nitori listened eagerly as well. It was somehow cathartic to be able to just gush about his brother like this with new friends.

\- - -

[ **To:** Makoto Tachibana

**From:** Sousuke Yamazaki

(1/2) Hello. This is Sousuke Yamazaki of the Samezuka Swim Team. Aki gave me your number, and I just wanted to ask if you would be willing to join a joint practice between Samezuka and Sera?]

 

[ **To:** Makoto Tachibana

**From:** Sousuke Yamazaki

(2/2) Aki would be talking to your manager soon, but she asked me to be the representative of ours and talk to you since you’re the captain. I’d also like to ask a favor, if possible. That is, please don’t tell Rin about this proposal.]

 

[ **To:** Sousuke Yamazaki

**From:** Makoto Tachibana

I won’t tell him anything, don’t worry. I’d also like to talk to you more, if possible. There’s been a few things I haven’t been able to ask Rin that I think you would know the answer to.]

\- - -

Rin knew Gou would meet up with their mom today so they would both go home at the same time, a little after six o’clock or so. He was fine with that. With the way his day went today, he deserved a quiet time alone. Makoto had talked to him about Sano Elementary and his friends from there, which was fun. But after class, Makoto had also advised him to steer clear of the pool, which was a bit… heartbreaking. It was understandable, of course it was, but it still didn’t feel good to be reminded about how Haruka hates him now.

And isn’t that the most basic explanation of his current problems? Haruka hates him. That simple. For some reason, in the span of the 5 years they haven’t seen each other, Haruka grew to hate him. It didn’t make any sense, but Haruka has always been a bit weird. Maybe he has his reasons.

So, yeah.

He had all these frustrations to work with. It was good that he had time to himself. Being on his own inside the empty house didn’t feel that good though, so instead he took his ipod and jogged around the neighborhood. Burn off some steam. Running had always helped him clear his mind when he was in Australia. (When his own mind was his issue, running until every part of his body hurt was the only way to quiet the voice of insecurity inside his head.)

 

“Rin-senpai?”

He stopped on his tracks, mentally counting how many laps he had taken in this road, before turning towards the voice. “Oh, Rei.” He nodded his head in greeting, eyeing the boy.

Rei was holding a clear plastic bag full of books from the bookstore a block from here. He raised it and smiled a bit. “I was just-” He shrugged his shoulder, trying to act casual. “I was buying books.”

“About swimming.” Rin noted, peeking at the books on the bag. “You shouldn’t have bought that one.” He pointed at the one on top. “It’s not for beginners. It’s like the second book in a series. I have the first one.” He had said it already before he realized what he must sound like. He frowned, but realized Rei was a nice enough guy so he should at least help him out. “I could let you borrow mine. I’ll bring it tomorrow?”

Eyes widening, Rei nodded. “Thank you!” He chuckled. “There were too many books to choose from and it was hard to figure out where to start. But I want to try.”

Rin smiled, despite the twinge he felt in his chest at those words. “Haru really inspired you, huh? He has that effect on people.”

“It was really beautiful.” Rin said, eyes going unfocused as if he was reminiscing about the practice that day. “I told them I’ll join them as soon as I can. Haruka-senpai smiled.”

“Oh.” Rin looked away, forcing himself to ignore all the feelings of hurt and betrayal bubbling inside him. He has not seen Haruka smile in the whole month they’ve been in school. There was also that small feeling though, of being glad that Haruka _does_ smile still. Rin’s existence in their lives didn’t pollute it enough that Haruka would not smile anymore. Rin was hated, but he was not ruining Haruka’s life. Small blessings, he supposed.

“You should join us.” Rei interrupted his thoughts with his earnest request. “Nagisa-kun kept on muttering under his breath about how it doesn’t feel right with you missing.”

Rin scrunched up his nose, wondering if that comment was thrown there out of honesty or if it was carefully planned to tug at Rin’s heartstrings. It was either Rei was a really good guy or Nagisa was rubbing off on him. Still, no matter how much Rin loves Nagisa, he had priorities and limitations. “I can’t.” He said. “You saw what happened last time I tried.”

“I saw.” Rei nodded, looking thoughtful. “But I would have to agree with Nagisa-kun this one time. It doesn’t feel right to leave it like this.”

“That’s fine.” Rin shrugged. Better to feel odd than to hurt Haruka further. “I might take you up on the offer some time. Not soon, though. Isn’t the water too cold right now?”

Rei chuckled, agreeing immediately. “Haruka-senpai doesn’t care!” He said, laughing. “We’re gonna check tomorrow if the temperature is okay, but I think Gou-chan is trying to contact schools with indoor pools. We might do joint practices in another school for a start while waiting for the water to be an acceptable temperature.”

“That idiot.” Rin sighed, voice unconsciously full of fondness. “Make sure he doesn’t get sick, huh? He becomes extra cold when he’s sick, and he does stupid things.”

Expression softening, Rei said “I’ll do my best to take care of him with everyone.” It was sincere, a promise. Underlying it was an obvious ‘ _don’t worry_ ’. Rin appreciated the gesture more than anything. It made him feel better, to know that Haruka was cared for. Makoto will never let Haruka be hurt, and Nagisa has always been fiercely protective of those he loves. Rei was also starting to admire Haruka like how all of them do. The ache in his chest won’t go away that easily, but he felt lighter somehow. As long as Haruka was happy, Rin should be fine.

\- - -

Makoto went home feeling exhausted and hopeless. He had worked hard to observe; to listen to Rin’s childhood memories, to watch Haru’s expression when he realized that Rin was not going to the pool anymore. It was a pretty enlightening experience, despite his lack of knowledge on many fronts. Rin was open about a lot of things, but he looked more dazed the closer they got to the topic of their elementary swim club days or their relay. He did not mention Australia either.

Haruka, on the other hand, looked equal parts relieved and disappointed the whole time. He did not say anything, but he didn’t have to. Makoto heard the sigh of relief when he said Rin went home immediately, and he saw the contradictory way Haruka kept on looking longingly at the direction of the school gates. Whatever happened, Haruka was clearly conflicted about it.

None of that helped Makoto figure out what happened to the bond though.

Something must have happened. He was sure a trigger was needed to destroy a bond so strong that it has a two-way telepathy. One, or both, must have pulled off from the bond. That was how it worked, according to the quick internet search he did.

 

It was time to check his other sources. He logged in on skype and hoped for the best.

**[Wednesday, April 23, XXXX]**

**Makoto**

Hi! Makoto Tachibana here.

I just want to ask a few questions, if that’s alright with you.

**Sousuke**

I owe you one. I’ll answer anything as long as you keep your promise.

Makoto took a few deep breaths, still unsure on how to go about with this. Sousuke was practically a stranger, but he was also the only link Makoto could see regarding how Rin was before Iwatobi. Sousuke was Rin’s best friend, and it meant he was a good enough person. He could be trusted to care about Rin’s wellbeing, right? He must have been worried about Rin too.

**Makoto**

I will, don’t worry about that.

My questions… It’s about Rin.

**Sousuke**

Yeah, I figured

Was that an opening? Makoto wondered briefly what tone was used for that message. Sousuke knew Rin was their topic, but what did that mean? Does the fact that he agreed to talk anyway mean that he’s willing to help?

**Makoto**

Something happened to him. I need to know what exactly happened.

**Sousuke**

Why don’t you ask your best friend?

He should know everything he did.

Everything _he_ did? Haruka did something?

They were just words on a screen but Makoto felt as if Sousuke was not just saying it factually. It was pure vitriol. Sousuke cared for Rin, but that did not mean he would care about Haruka. Despite how Haruka was suffering as well, Makoto doubted Sousuke would care, especially if he felt like this was Haruka’s fault.

**Makoto**

You think this is Haru’s fault?

**Sousuke**

Who else could have done it?

Do you think Rin just lost his passion for swimming out of nowhere?

**Makoto**

How can you be so sure it was Haru’s fault?

It was not good. He felt his shackles rising. This guy, this Sousuke Yamazaki, did not know anything about Haruka. He did not see the way Haruka has been increasingly distant lately, how he looked hurt every time he turned away from them. Makoto saw all of it, ached as he watched it. Sousuke did not have any right to blame Haruka without any proof.

**Sousuke**

Broken bonds.

Did you know they were soulmates?

Makoto stared at those words, blinking in surprise. Sousuke knew then, probably this whole time.

**Makoto**

I’ve always suspected. Figured it out recently, about the broken bond.

**Sousuke**

Rin knew they were soulmates since we were 12. He transferred because he knew.

**Makoto**

He transferred to be near Haru?

**Sousuke**

Obviously.

He said he needed to know what kind of person his soulmate was.

That was something he didn’t know, didn’t even consider. Rin knew even before he came to Iwatobi. It was just like him to do it, too. He was a romantic guy at heart, and he had been suspiciously interested on Haruka from the start.

**Makoto**

He liked Haruka. I know he did. Haruka didn’t do anything bad to him.

Rin talked to us before he went to Australia.

**Sousuke**

Then why did the bond break, huh?

He forgot a lot of things, but especially the relay.

Nanase must have done something after. Rin cherished the bond too much to let go.

**Makoto**

Stop saying that. You don’t know anything about Haru.

He closed the lid of his laptop, not even stopping to look at the other guy’s reply. Rin did talk about soulbonds fondly before, and he adored stories of couples coming together. He was not the type to let something so precious go to waste. But Haruka would not hurt Rin either, not like that. Haruka was cold and blunt on the outside, yes, but he accepted Rin. He loved Rin as much as Rin loved him.

Haruka could not have possibly been the cause of this.

\- - -

Nagisa watched from the doorway as Rin quickly placed his things inside his bag and refused to look anywhere. He watched as Makoto sat there staring at his desk as if in deep thought. He watches as Haruka slowly moved, eyes drifting towards Rin every now and then. He watched in interest and thought to himself _‘I miss the relay team’_. He sighed and slapped both hands on his cheeks. “I can do this.”

Moving to the side to hide, he waited for whoever would appear first.

As expected, Rin came out the door just a few seconds later. _“Holy-”_ he yelped and jumped backward when he saw Nagisa. “What the hell do you want this time, Nagisa?”

Eyes wide and innocent, Nagisa said, “I just wanted to ask you to join us today. Is it bad to want to spend time with Rin-chan?”

Rin narrowed his eyes and inched away from him. “With Rei, you’ve got four members. You don’t need me to swim for you.”

“I just want to spend time with you.” Nagisa insisted earnestly. “You don’t have to swim! You can lurk in the shadows and make your presence known to only me!” Except, of course, Haruka would know because _he always does_. Rin didn’t know that though, and Nagisa did not have any plans of sharing that one bit of information.

“Why would I do that?” Rin crossed his arms.

“Because you want to support me and Gou-chan!” Nagisa answered easily.

“I did support you. I’m done with that now. I’m going home.” Rin turned his back on him and walked off.

Nagisa sighed as he watched the older boy go. Well, at least he tried? He would try again, but he had to find a better bait.

 

The swimming pool was not exactly freezing, but it was _cold_. Not for swimming purposes. It was spring and having an outdoor pool was just stupid. Nagisa hated the founders of this school and their poor planning skills.

Makoto had his hand firmly on Haruka’s arm as they sat down on the side of the pool, smiling at the others as if he wasn’t forcing his best friend to sit down with him. Nagisa has always been impressed by the gentle mother inside Makoto’s soul. “You have announcements, right?” He asked eagerly. It was forced cheer, though, everyone could tell. Whatever was plaguing Haruka and Rin, was definitely starting to affect Makoto now too. Is it some kind of 2nd years only disease?

“Yes!” Gou enthused, smiling brightly at all of them. She did not seem affected by the general lack of excitement from the other members or the general lack of Rin in the vicinity. That was good. Nagisa and Gou could light up this party as long as it takes for the 2nd years to get their act together. “We were just in contact with Sera Academy. It’s one train ride away from here and they have an indoor pool. They’re willing to have a joint practice with us.”

“That means,” Nagisa added, eyeing Haruka with a large smile. “We can swim for longer in a proper indoor pool and swim with Aki-chan again.”

“That’s great.” Makoto said. “We could definitely use the help now before the competitions roll in.”

Nagisa nodded. “We can even practice the relay!”

Several things happened at once. Rei raised an eyebrow and asked “relay?”. Gou smiled and agreed. Makoto’s eyes widened and he raised both his hands up as if to stop Nagisa from saying anything more. And Haruka suddenly shook his head and said “We won’t.”

“What do you mean we won’t?” Nagisa frowned confusedly at Haruka. “We should practice. We could even invite-”

“Nagisa!” Makoto shot forward, letting go of Haruka’s arm and grabbing Nagisa’s hand instead. “We should probably not plan anything right now. The talks with Sera aren’t done yet, am I right?”

Gou looked at the two of them with furrowed eyebrows, clearly trying to parse what was happening. “We don’t even know what Rei-kun would pick as his stroke, so we haven’t really talked out the details. We’ll meet next week.”

Rei, seeing the opportunity to clear out the air, said immediately “I was wondering about that, actually!” He pointed to the pool. “We can’t practice, so I won’t figure out my stroke, right?”

“It’s not that cold.” Haruka stubbornly said. “We could practice.”

“Actually,” Gou bit on her lip, looking hesitant all of a sudden. “I might have a solution for that.”

Nagisa blinked. He didn’t hear anything about that. “Do you have a super heater for the pool?” He asked, eyes wide.

Gou laughed, hitting his side in reprimand. “No. I just- I could probably ask for a favor from the Samezuka team? The one beside Sera? I know people from there and they were… um, they said they wanted to see you guys swim.”

“Who?” Makoto asked, gaze turning sharp. It was a weird look on someone so nice.

“Well, for one, Sousuke-kun is their vice captain.” She explained. “He’s my brother’s best friend. And I know another member, and the brother of their captain. They’re pretty invested in helping us out.” She was leaving something out, Nagisa could tell that much. He couldn’t figure out what though. At the moment, it wasn’t important. This was good enough news. He’ll grill her later. “It would be after their practice though, is that okay?”

“Haru-chan would stay if it means swimming in a pool, right?” Nagisa looked at him encouragingly. “And Rei-chan would really need all of our help. He seems like the hopeless-type.” There was an indignation in Rei’s face and a loud **I studied up all the theories on swimming!!!** that made Nagisa want to pinch his cheeks.

Makoto looked worried, still. But Haruka nodded his head in agreement. “I can wait.”

“I could arrange it for tomorrow. I doubt anyone would stay in on a Friday.” Gou explained. “I’ll send you guys the details as soon as I finish talking to them.”

Nagisa grinned. It would be an interesting Friday, definitely.

\- - -

[ **To:** Makoto Tachibana

**From:** Sousuke Yamazaki

I’m sorry if I offended you, okay? It’s not your fault your best friend did that. We still have to talk about the joint practice. Gou doesn’t know either. You’re the only one I can talk to.]

[ **To:** Sousuke Yamazaki

**From:** Makoto Tachibana

Haru didn’t do anything and I’m sorry if I was rude, but you don’t have any proof to say that about him.]

[ **To:** Makoto Tachibana

**From:** Sousuke Yamazaki

Are you saying Rin did it? Because he won’t do that. I know him.]

\- - -

Rin should have known he would be conned into doing this. Nagisa was persuasive in the worst ways, and if you add Gou and Sousuke to the mix? Rin was bound to bend to their wills the moment they banded together. It was really unfair how weak he was to their requests.

He sat on the bench outside the Samezuka’s indoor pool, drinking his Pocari Sweat in peace. They convinced him to be here, to help them by being there with his Australia Scholarship under his belt. He had agreed because at least his scholarship won’t go to waste. It was a good way to use his otherwise useless experiences. He could serve his purpose this way, no big deal.

He won’t stay inside though. He would never watch Haruka swim, would never even try to dip in the water with the guy. It was bad enough that Haruka had looked like he wanted to flee the scene when he saw Rin ride the train with them.

 

“I don’t see the point of you being here if you’re just going to drink outside.” Sousuke walked over to his side and sat down with ease. “That’s such a waste.”

“Yeah,” Rin agreed. “Your pool’s pretty cool.”

Sousuke grinned smugly. “You could always transfer and have fun with it.”

“Not interested.” Rin shrugged. He could not say how the pool was beautiful and huge and inviting but also scary and trapping. He probably had enough baggage that he would drown from the weight of it on his shoulders.

They were quiet for a while, sipping their respective drinks and looking at the darkening sky. Silence has always been easy for them, even if Rin was generally chatty back when they were young. Sousuke was a smug little shit as well, always fighting with him. But they were good with silence too. They could let each other get lost in thought and it would not be awkward.

“That Ryuugazaki’s been a disaster.” Sousuke spoke after a few minutes. “He’s actually a dead weight. I haven’t seen anyone so bad since I saw Kisumi try to dive in our pool.”

Rin laughed at the memory. “Ah, that was bad.” He said. And then, “Rei’s really not learning well?” He hated how concerned he sounded. He might have developed a soft spot for the guy after their talk a few days ago.

“He probably needs a good teacher?” Sousuke’s tone was suggestive. He even raised an eyebrow in challenge.

He shouldn’t rise to bait, just like how he shouldn’t have gone here, but Rin was bad with doing what he should do. He was really bad at not accepting challenges too. “You think?” He asked sarcastically.

“Yeah,” Sousuke nodded, grinning. “You should show your expertise, Rin- _sensei_.”

Rin felt his eye twitch in annoyance. Mostly, annoyance to himself for thinking how good an idea it was and how it would help Rei (who is a nice kid and is trying really hard to impress Haruka like how Rin did before). “You can’t make me.” He scoffed. “Besides, why are you still here? Aren’t you supposed to be inside, checking if they’re spying on your locker room or something?”

This time, it was Sousuke who frowned and looked away. “I’m not friends with any of them and Gou is busy making sure that Ryuugazaki isn’t dying yet.”

“Hm?” Rin peeked at his expression, eyebrow climbing up. “Is something wrong?”

“Nah.” Sousuke shrugged, though it was obviously a lie.

Rin narrowed his eyes at him but let it go. They had their own secrets to keep.

Before any of them could start up another conversation, the door opened and Gou came out, looking haggard and worried. “Nii-chan!” She called out. “You really need to come inside.”

“What is it?” He asked, standing up and following instinctively because of the tone of her voice. “Why?” As soon as he was inside, his gaze locked into Haruka’s who was just drying himself off on the floor by the pool. It took a few seconds before Haruka looked away, an expression of hurt familiar by now replacing his normal blank expression. Shit. Why did he come inside again? Didn’t he promise to himself to stop making Haruka look like that?

“Gou!” He turned just in time to see Nagisa come up at his side and pull his wrist towards the water. “No, Nagisa! Stop!” He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want to feel the water. He didn’t want to be trapped in its clutches. “Nagisa, _please_!” But to no avail, he was pulled by the wrist and pushed on his back by someone else.

He plunged into the cold water, his whole body being enveloped by the vice-like grip and his heart kicking on overdrive. He pulled his wrist away, scrambling out of the water. But the water was pulling him down, drowning him. He couldn’t breathe. It was Australia all over again. The weight, the lack of air, the feeling of _death_ looming over his head.

Warm arms wrapped around his waist and hauled him up until his head was above the water. “Rin-chan, it’s alright.” Nagisa whispered. “It’s alright. I’m sorry.” His voice was soft, soothing and filled with regret. “I’m sorry I pulled you in.”

He felt warm breath on the back of his neck, a comforting reminder of Nagisa’s closeness. He wasn’t drowning. He wasn’t going to die. He was embarrassed though. They all saw him struggling for breath in this pool where he could easily reach the bottom with his feet. It was illogical how he thought he would drown. They all saw him make a fool of himself. “I-” His face felt warm from the utter shame he felt. This was why he didn’t want to be here. “It’s fine.” He croaked out. “I’m fine. I was just surprised.”

Nagisa tightened his arms around him before he nodded and let go. “I’m sorry I surprised you.”

He looked so much like a kicked puppy that Rin couldn’t help but ruffle his hair in reassurance. “Well,” He took a deep breath; reminding himself that he’s okay, that he’s not going to drown, that he was an expert swimmer from a young age and not a helpless beginner. He could do this. To make sure Nagisa does not feel guilty and to make sure Rei learns, it would be good to pretend he was alright. “Since we’re already here, why don’t we teach Rei together?”

Smiling brightly, Nagisa nodded.

 

Rin looked up to the side of the pool and saw Haruka’s towel on the floor. His bag was gone.

\- - -

_Haruka’s eyes lit up the moment he saw Rin on the other side of the train rails. He didn’t know the boy was going home. It was just before Christmas, so it made sense that he was home, but Rin never even sent him a letter about that. Haruka missed him a lot._

_“Rin!” He called out, walking over to the boy. He tried to look him in the eye, to hear his inner voice and be able to send him his own thoughts he had wanted to share ever since Rin went away. He had so much to tell._

_But Rin won’t meet his gaze. He simply smiled softly, eyes averted, before raising a hand in greeting. “It’s been a while.” He said._

_“You didn’t even call.” Haruka could not help but say this out loud, since Rin so obviously was refusing to let him use their telepathy. “I didn’t know you were in Japan.”_

_“Yeah, I-” Rin shrugged one shoulder, seemingly trying to act casual. “I was busy. I didn’t think-” He sighed and looked down at his shoes. “Do you want to go swimming? We should race.”_

_That was a good idea, despite how weird Rin was acting. Haruka knew Rin always felt better after a good race._

 

_Haruka did his all. He was overjoyed to be swimming with Rin again. He wanted it to be a good race. He swam with all his might and he smiled widely when he touched the end of the pool._

_But when he climbed out of the pool, when he looked to the other boy on the ground, all he saw was tears and pain. “Rin?” He asked, worried beyond anything. He reached forward to help him stand up._

_Rin slapped his hand away, tears still flowing down his cheeks. “I can’t do this anymore.” He whispered. He walked off, his whole body exuding an aura of despair._

_Haruka couldn’t leave it at that. “Rin!” He reached out, hand clamping on Rin’s arm. “What’s wrong?” He was answered by silence only broken by a few sobs from the other boy. “Rin,” He tugged, but Rin did not want to look at him at all. He refused to even turn around. “Rin, please.”_

_“No.” Rin’s voice was so full of hurt and sadness. So broken unlike any tone Haruka has heard before. Rin wasn’t supposed to sound like this. He was a storm. A beautiful smile. An energetic presence. He wasn’t supposed to be hurt like this. “I’m quitting.” He said, voice choked off. “Everything. All of this.”_

_Haruka gasped, hand falling down to his side and his goggles dropping on the floor with a dull thud. “Why- You said-” Rin had told him! Rin told him it was going to be okay! Rin promised it wouldn’t be this way! They weren’t supposed to **get hurt**. They were going to get through this. Rin **promised**._

_“I can’t do this.” Rin finally turned his back, eyes looking at the goggles on the floor. Tears still fell from his eyes. “Haruka,” He looked up, finally looking up to gaze directly into Haruka’s eyes. “I can’t-”_

**_You’ve always wanted this right? You want your freedom? Here it is._ **

**_I don’t want to be your soulmate anymore._ **

\- - -

Haruka gasped for breath, sitting up on his bed. It was that dream again. That memory.

He was tired of seeing it. He was tired of feeling this.

He looked at his pillow, drenched in tears and sweat.

He was tired of changing his pillow everyday. He was tired of waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to fall asleep.

He picked at the pillow, taking off the pillow case in two practiced moves and dropping it on the basket on the floor. He moved it beside his bed for easier access years ago. He stood up and walked over to his cabinet to get a new pillow and a new blanket.

He was tired of doing too much laundry per week for a single person.

He took the basket and walked down the quiet hallway, glancing over to the picture his father and mother sent from their trip in Hokkaido. He should probably call them and ask for a raise in allowance. He sighed and placed the basket beside the stairs. He would do it tomorrow. He might as well jog outside for now. It always felt better after a long run.

He changed into proper running clothes and locked up his empty home.

_He was tired of being alone._

 


	5. Not Quite 'Like Father, Like Son'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How long has it been? Six months? I'M SORRY. There's really no acceptable reason to make anyone wait that long. I'm an awful person and author, yes. I've long accepted that. I hope having this chapter would make you rethink about throwing tomatoes at my head. (Okay, i think reading this would make you _want_ to throw tomatoes at me _more_ , but ugh just please forgive me.)
> 
> Thank you for everyone's messages and support despite me being the worst kind of author!!!  
> Special thanks to **Naya** who is the light of my life and inspiration for moving this story forward  
>  and **kuraikurage** who was basically the only reason why I found energy to write all of this down again. You are both awesome!!

It was the Monday after the exciting and eventful week when Aki found out about the Samezuka 'kind deed'.

The sky was cloudy then, the air warm and pleasant, and overall it felt like a bright day welcoming them for another beautiful week. Aki felt good about everything. So, of course, nothing to make it better than asking her favorite boys about their swimming club. It has been her favorite topic lately.

"So, joint practice," Aki started, grinning at Makoto at her side. Haruka faltered in his steps and frowned deeper, but Aki was so ready to bulldoze past that. They're going to do this and Haruka would have to agree whether he likes it or not. She has it on good authority (read: _Nagisa_ ) that Haruka enjoys swimming as much as before and that the boy still was in fairly good form despite everything. "Made any progress with your new member?"

Makoto's expression turned just a tad bit brighter, looking excited to talk about it. "Yes, actually," he said, voice awed. "Rin helped him out in the pool last Friday.”

That took her by surprise. She knew Rin was helping out, but so far she only heard of him helping out in the paper-side of things, like with the fake membership and the writing of the formal requests for the pool clean-up. She heard all of that from Gou. To be in the pool? To swim and teach a new member? That sounded like a real member, as far as Aki was concerned.

She smiled back. "That's good! I didn't know-" Her eyebrows furrowed as she remembered another tidbit she heard from Makoto last week. "Wait, wasn't your pool outdoors?" She knew they were a hardworking bunch, but swimming in an ice cold pool sounded like a very stupid idea that Makoto would _definitely_ not allow.

"Oh." And just like that, Makoto's expression dimmed again. "The swim team at Samezuka let us borrow theirs."

Why did he frown like that? Aki knew Sousuke has made contact, since that's pretty much what Sousuke deemed right to share the last time he sent her an e-mail. It was a short notice telling her that he had talked to Makoto and he explained about the Samezuka inclusion in the plan. That was not really forthcoming with information, and Makoto's expression gave her the feeling that she probably won't like whatever was happening in that side of the conversation.

Steering clear of that was probably the right way to go. Dealing with Haruka's cold shoulder was one thing, but making Makoto frown like that? Sousuke has to deal with that one on his own. Aki did not have the strength to watch Makoto look like that, and if Sousuke put that expression on him, then Sousuke's the one who has to make it right. Makoto was too precious to have that expression.

"Okay, that is very nice of them." She nodded, looking back at the road as they continued their walk to school. "So..." _Hm. What does small talk sound like again?_ "How was your weekend?"

"It was good!" Makoto seemed to take to the new topic well, smiling gratefully as if he knew exactly why Aki did it. "My parents were out of town so me and the twins went to watch a movie yesterday."

Aki knew the Tachibana family from the various swim meets they had back in elementary, but she also knew them from the talks of people in town. It was a small place, and the community was tightly-knit, so everyone knew everyone. The Tachibanas were especially famous because of the parents being bonded from a young age. They were neighbors and the town watched them grow up. It was the kind of story you see in romance novels. Them having a well-known respectful young man and cute twins made them all the more loved by everyone.

"Cool. Ran must have been overjoyed. She's been badgering you about that one animated film, right?", she said, eyes drifting towards Haruka for just a second to see how he looks now. He didn't look like he was listening. "How was your parent's trip?", she asked, looking back at Makoto.

"They had fun. Haru's- um..." He looked uncomfortable for a moment but pushed on. "Auntie and Uncle met up with them at the hot springs. They said it was a nice place."

"Oh." Aki bit her lip, looking down awkwardly as she tried to think of how to react to that.

While the Tachibana couple was famous, the Nanase couple (Haruka's parents) were infamous for a variety of things. They were opposites in a way. Both were soulbonded early and, as far as Aki knew, had two-way telepathies. The similarities ends there, though. Nanase Maika was in a college in Tokyo when she met her husband Yuu. Maika dropped out of college, married Yuu and went back to Iwatobi pregnant. A few years after giving birth to Haruka, Maika and Yuu went back to Tokyo, leaving their young boy behind.

"Anyway," Makoto placed a hand on her arm and squeezed lightly, smiling softly. A free pass from the kindest boy in town. "How was your weekend, Aki-chan?"

**\- - -**

_Haruka was seven years old when the Real Goodbye happened. His parents has been travelling to Tokyo more and more by then, and his father was talking about a 'permanent position'. He looked it up in a dictionary and it meant something that lasts forever. That meant his parents would be gone forever, doesn't it?_

_He watched in silence as his parents loaded their things in the car they rented out for this specific occasion. They told him it was so 'the house won't be so crowded', but he had an empty spacious room to himself so he thought maybe there was another reason. Maybe that's why people kept on patting him on the head when he bought some things for his mom earlier in the store._

_He was already seven years old, practically a big boy, so he thought he should ask someone why._

_He did not approach his parents, because they were busy; he did not approach Makoto, because he was with his parents and the Tachibanas were among the people who kept on patting him. Instead, he approached his favorite person in the world._

_"Grandma," he called out from where he was hiding behind a box of old photo albums. She looked surprised, like she always does when he was hiding. "Why are dad and mom going away?"_

_His grandma pursed her lips and looked back at the couple talking pleasantly while picking boxes. She touched Haruka's head lightly before straightening up and motioning towards the kitchen. "All these moving is making me thirsty. Can you get me some water, dear?"_

_He nodded easily and followed after her, taking the small pitcher from the refrigerator and placing it on the table before sitting beside her._

_"Thanks, dear." She said, pouring herself a glass and sipping from it. She took her time with it until she knew Haruka was itching to ask her again. He won't, because he's a good kid, but he still really wanted to and it must have showed on his face. She smiled. "Your dad found a job he really, really liked so your mom would live with him in Tokyo."_

_He frowned. "Mom has to live there too?" He knew about jobs, but his mom didn't have one so she shouldn't have to go, right? "Why? Can't dad live alone?"_ Doesn't she want to stay with Haruka?

_"You see, Haru dear, your mom and dad are what you call soulmates. Do you remember what soulmates are?"_

_"When two people are meant to be together and they love each other," he answered dutifully. "Like Cinderella and her prince."_

_"Yes, like them." She nodded, placing her hand on his head again and stroking his hair like she did when he can't sleep. "Your mom and dad loves each other so much that they can't be away from each other. Your dad really wants to get this job and your mom would support him with all she's got. Do you understand?"_

_"That's why they have to leave together?", he asked, eyebrows furrowing in concentration. It didn't sound good to him, despite how many stories he's read about these things._

_"Someday, you'll find your soulmate too. When you're all grown up, you'll understand what it feels to love someone that much."_

_Loving someone so much that he'll leave everyone behind?_

_He really would rather not._

**\---**

As soon as Aki went on her way with a final enthusiastic wave, Makoto focused his attention back on Haruka. The topic this morning was steered away from the swim team, but it broached a more delicate matter. They don't talk about Haruka's parents. No one talks about Haruka's parents, to be honest. Aki knew that, which is why she got so flustered.

Haruka looked fine though. He looked spaced-out as usual, like he didn't hear any of their conversations.

Makoto heaved a sigh of relief and walked forward. Focusing on his own thoughts made him circle back into thinking about their parents though. It was a bad habit, worrying too much. Still, it was what Makoto did. He's the worrier in this friendship.

He thought about their parents, about how they affected Makoto and Haruka in such an obvious way. Makoto dreamed about meeting his soulmate; while Haruka might have pushed away his. It was a logical conclusion, seeing their backgrounds. Haruka has always hated the idea of soulbonds. It has always made him both offended and angry. He was one of those people who would say 'I don't believe in soulbonds'. That would have made him push Rin away.

He did, in fact, at the start. Now that Makoto thinks about it, Haruka ran away from Rin a lot of times in elementary.

But that changed, somehow. Haruka stopped running away and started looking more and more at Rin. He started showing more emotions, started jogging alongside friends and acting more at ease around Rin. Makoto thought it was how falling in love must look like.

So yes, Haruka did push Rin away initially, but Makoto was still sure he did not break the bond. Sousuke was wrong. Sousuke was wrong about a lot of things.

And that train of thought just brought him back to last Friday. Ugh. Makoto did not want to think about Sousuke and how he kept on glaring at Haruka and acting like Haru killed his whole clan. It was bad enough that the Haruka and Rin issue was unresolved right in front of them. Acting like a vengeful person was unnecessary.

It made him so angry, seeing his best friend be treated like that. Haruka was already in so much pain. He did not need the judgement of someone who didn't even know him.

All of those feelings gave Makoto feelings of overprotection that was second only to that time when they were seven. Feelings of overprotection that made him want to take Haruka as far away as possible from Sousuke.

There really was only one thing to do: fix whatever happened between Haruka and Rin, and prove Sousuke wrong.

**\---**

For all that Gou was happy that her brother was starting to warm up to the idea of swimming, she still felt a bit down about the fact that the Rin-faction and Haru-faction continued to exist. Nagisa has been joking about those names, but it was painfully clear that they were real.

Makoto stuck close to Haruka today, looking perpetually worried. She saw him enter the school gates earlier with this frown that did not fit his gentle face. He was eating lunch with Haruka now in their classroom. He was what Gou would call the 'main Haru-faction'.

Gou was, of course, the 'main Rin-faction'. Makoto was practically a brother to Haruka, and she was Rin's one and only sister. She would always be on his side, no matter what.

As per usual, she and Nagisa dragged Rin and Rei to the rooftop as soon as the bell rang. They settled on their usual seats and started talking amongst themselves.

While this was the case, Nagisa was keen to explain that he was a neural party. He told Gou that he just wanted to see them all together again. That was simply his wish, and he would do what he had to for the goal to be reached. Both of their happiness was important to him.

Rei, on the other hand, while jokingly categorized in the Haru-faction by Nagisa from the start (on accounts of him having a very bad first impression of Rin and a very good impression of Haruka), was an undecided party. Mostly because he seemed to have gotten a huge hero-worship on Haruka's swimming form, but also acquired a mentor-student relationship with Rin.

Like right now, Rei was gushing about Haruka's freestyle swimming while asking Rin about how to perfect his own skills at butterfly. He was seamlessly in both factions at the same time, it seems. It was one of the few times Rin could talk about Haruka without cringing. Gou thought that perhaps Rei was the miracle worker in the team. The trump card, or something.

"No, actually, the physics that deals with the force the fluid exerts on an immersed body is hydrostatics." Rei explained knowingly to Rin. Gou must have zoned out quite a bit, because she had no idea where this topic came from.

"An immersed body _at rest_ ," Rin clarified, grinning. He looked so smug and carefree for the first time in a while. "Any motion underwater is under hydrodynamics. Though..." He gave Rei a shit-eating grin. "I guess you're under hydrostatics most of the time, what with being a dead weight and all."

Rei narrowed his eyes and glared. "When I fall down, I'm _still in motion_.”

" _That's_ what you're focusing on?" Rin burst out laughing. It was a wonderful sound that made Gou stare. At her side, Nagisa was looking at the bickering pair with a fond expression.

It would be great, she thinks, if they could all get together and laugh like this.

**- \--**

_When he was 11 years old, Nagisa's second favorite place was Haruka's ancient-looking house. His first was the Iwatobi Swimming Club, of course, because that's where he met Haru-chan and Mako-chan and Rinrin. Haruka's was a close second though. Nagisa was the first one after Makoto to step in it, after all. Nagisa was **special**. Rin was so jealous about it that Nagisa just had to boast about it more. It was a nice feeling, being important enough to be invited inside the house._

_As soon as the relay team got formed, Rin had insisted that they visit Haruka's house after a long jog. Nagisa happily showed directions, much to Haruka's chagrin and to Makoto's amusement._

_They sat around the low table as Haruka and Makoto prepared tea and snacks._

_"I can't believe you two went here already." Rin pouted, acting like a petulant child like always. "Nana- I mean, Haru's really unfair."_

_"Haru-chan just gave me tea because I was tired." Nagisa explained, wide-eyed and innocent. He didn't want Rin to feel out of place. Rin was a transferee who has been helping them out, after all. Nagisa wanted him to feel welcome. "We could hang around here more, together."_

_"Don't invite people into someone else's house." Haruka said, eyebrows furrowed._

_"Sorry," Nagisa immediately said, waving it off. "But it would be fun, right? Going here after practice sometimes?"_

_"I don't have anything." Haruka's frown deepened as he placed the tray of tea down alongside the snacks Makoto put on the table. He looked around at the largely empty living room. "You should go to Makoto's."_

_Nagisa shook his head immediately. "Nope. I like your house." Besides, Ran and Ren were starting school now and so Makoto's mom had her hands full._

_"Yeah," Rin readily agreed, because he was a good senpai. "We like your house, despite how old it feels." His eyes widened dramatically. "Does it have a ghost?"_

_"G-ghost?!" Makoto's eyes widened and he paled immediately._

_"Ghost!!!" Nagisa raised both hands up and stared wide-eyed at Haruka. "Could there be a ghost? I want to see!"_

_Haruka pointedly put a cup of tea in front of Makoto and touched his arm gently. Nagisa has learned already that it was Haruka's way of calming Makoto down when he was scared. He was quiet but he was still one of the best people Nagisa has ever known._

_He placed a cup in front of Nagisa as well before getting one of his own. "There's no ghost. Stop scaring Makoto."_

_Rin's pout was at full power as he stared at Haruka in disbelief. He just stared and stared until Haruka muttered a "fine" and poured Rin some tea. The pout was replaced by a look of fond exasperation. "Haruka's the weird one," he said, as if he was continuing a conversation Nagisa did not know about._

_Haruka just looked down at the plate of biscuits and took one for himself, chewing quietly and clearly ignoring Rin._

_Makoto watched them with a small smile. Nagisa had the same smile on, the one that showed how he felt all soft and warm._

_"Ah!" Nagisa took three biscuits and rammed it in his mouth. "I fink fhe shfoul-"_

_Rin wrinkled his nose and flicked him on the forehead. "Don't talk with your mouth full. That’s disgusting."_

_Chuckling, Makoto nodded in agreement and handed him his cup._

_Nagisa chewed his food quickly and swallowed everything in one gulp. Rin really looked disturbed by it, but that's fine. Not everyone is used to his super eating powers yet. "I think we should play spin the bottle," he proposed happily._

_Haruka frowned and shook his head. "No."_

_"Why?!" Nagisa and Rin asked at the same time, wearing matching disappointed expressions._

_"I-" Haruka looked quickly towards the kitchen and said, "I don't have a bottle."_

_"But Haru, I saw-" Makoto was about to say something when Haruka narrowed his eyes at him. "Oh. Yeah. No bottles."_

_Nagisa pouted and Rin rolled his eyes. "You are such a lousy liar," Rin said._

_"Makoto's not a liar."_

_"I was talking about you!"_

_"It's not like you're any good at it."_

_"Not my fault you can read through me!"_

_Makoto sighed, obviously relieved to be out of the spotlight. He caught Nagisa's smile and offered a soft smile of his own._

_"How about we tell horror stories!" Nagisa interrupted their argument, hand darting forward in front of them to get their attention._

_"No." Haruka and Makoto simultaneously answered._

_Rin and Nagisa cracked up._

**\---**

Sousuke honestly did not expect the interrogation to happen this early. He barely did anything out of the blue and he properly asked permission for most of his actions regarding the team. The joint practice was approved as soon as he told the captain, and he had a decent explanation for letting the Iwatobi team into their pool too. He was doing everything the right way, in the way that won't put him in this spot.

Yet here he is. Sitting on a bench in the shower room with his captain cornering him.

Captain Mikoshiba was much too sharp, after all.

"I'm just saying." Mikoshiba's eyes bore into him. The captain had that aura of authority on him that made Sousuke squirm. It was weird, given how they're just about the same height. It still felt like the captain was looming over him. "This team is just a month old. Not even that, since they can't use their own pool yet." He sighed. "I understand that Matsuoka is an asset we could definitely use once we get him, and every school is vying for him, but you're acting like you're wooing his whole team." He sat down beside Sousuke, close but not cornering him anymore. "Focus on what you want, Yamazaki. Don't waste resources if you won't have results, got it?"

"I know, captain," Sousuke answered with a serious tone. "It's fine." It _is_ fine. He has seen Rin with the team. He saw how Nanase walked out of the indoor pool as soon as Rin came in. Rin did not need that environment. He would be safer and happier in a team full of people who understood his potential. He would grow in an environment like Samezuka, unlike how he was being dragged into the past by the people in Iwatobi.

Mikoshiba's expression was soft when he spoke again. "Try to separate your personal problems with team decisions, okay?" It was not commanding. It was a gentle advice from a concerned captain.

"I will."

It didn't look like Mikoshiba believed him, but Sousuke couldn't do anything about that.

Sousuke was having a hard day, to say the least. Practice was unproductive and that talk with the captain gave him all these negative feelings. The swimming club has always been his home, where he felt more at ease even more than at his real house, so being cornered and being interrogated felt really bad. It wasn’t something he was used to.

Today was definitely not his day.

And perhaps exactly because of that, exactly because Makoto Tachibana seemed to want him to feel as bad as he could, he got welcomed home by a message in his Skype from the guy. An actual message, after a few days of radio silence. Gou and Aki had been certain that Makoto would be nice and caring, assuring Sousuke that talking to the Iwatobi captain would not be hard at all. But Sousuke was treated with silence.

Until now.

**Makoto**

_What do you know about their bond?_

That was it. It was a question about Sousuke’s knowledge.

Well, Sousuke had spent quite a large amount of time reading through everything and asking people about soulbonds, so he had a huge inventory of information. He was an expert at this point. He has been ready for this conversation for _five years_.

**Sousuke**

_A lot. Are you willing to help now?_

**Makoto**

_For Haruka, yes._

_I’m around the two of them all the time._

_I think having my opinion would provide new perspective_

He highly does not think so. Then again, he also had a point. Sousuke has not seen Rin and Haruka interact outside that relay competition so many years ago. While he did not like to admit it, he had little to go by when it came to personal information about the two. It was the main reason why some data he gathered seemed to be in contrast with the things he saw in Rin.

**Sousuke**

_Right._

_This would be easier with a video call, I think_

_Is that okay?_

He wanted to see the sincerity and be able to judge for himself whether or not Makoto was just being biased for his best friend. He wanted to see the truth, the raw feelings. He was done waiting, and by the quickness by which Makoto clicked the ‘call’ button, it seemed he was, too.

Sousuke was welcomed by a serious face, one that showed stubbornness and a ready-for-a-fight determination. It was the first time he saw the other guy’s eyes looking directly at him, those clear green eyes seemingly daring him to say anything bad to his face. The image was not what he imagined for the gentle captain everyone told him about. Staring at him right now, it just felt… _weird_. The hostility he felt was being transformed into the same determination he could see in his eyes. He felt the need to reciprocate it. There was _something_ in those eyes.

That was not the issue right now, though. They needed to push away their difference in opinion and work together for the good of their best friends.

He cleared his throat. “So,” he started, narrowing his eyes. “You really are willing to help now.”

“ _For Haruka_ ,” he repeated with so much emphasis. It was obvious he still had a grudge over what Sousuke had said a few days ago. It’s not like Sousuke did not understand the feeling; anyone saying hurtful things about Rin was immediately considered a bad person for him.

Sousuke raised both hands in an appeasing gesture. “Fine.” He shrugged. “I don’t care why, I just need to figure out what happened.”

Makoto took this well enough, nodding a bit. “You said you know a lot about soulbonds. I’ve been trying to research but there’s too little information on two-way telepathy soulbonds and most of it clashes with each other.”

"I know," Sousuke empathized easily. He knew the hardship of trying to find real data when everyone else seemed content on not knowing the intricacies of the bonds. It took him a few years before he was able to get hold of valuable information, before he was able to find the professionals willing to share what they knew. Makoto’s only known about the broken bond for a few weeks. It was impossible for him to figure everything out that easily.

Perhaps Sousuke should just go and share everything, then. It was for his own sake, anyway.

"I know a lot, but it’s never been easy for me to apply it to what’s really happening to Rin. I’ve never…" He tried to think of how to say it easily, how to explain that being best friends with different beliefs made it hard for him to talk to Rin about this particular thing. Soulmates were stupid, no matter how obsessed Rin was with them. Sousuke never believed in the fairytale ending everyone seemed to believe in. "I’ve never talked to him about what he felt. I saw it, that’s why I knew. But I never got him to explain."

Makoto was quiet for a while, as if weighing his words carefully. “Why did you decide Haruka broke the bond?”

“ _Because-_ “

“ _And_ not because of your presumption of him, please.” Makoto interjected, eyes suddenly sharp. “In all your research, in all these years, what gave you the idea?”

It was said gently, but Sousuke still felt the judgement in it. Whether it was simply his projection or not, he did not know. “Rin refused to talk about Nanase. I tried asking about him, but he refused… it was like he was in denial of everything.”

"Haru, too." Makoto said as his frown deepened. "Even when Rin left for Australia, he still talked about Rin. Then one day, he just quit swimming and stopped talking about Rin. He wouldn’t tell me why."

Something akin to panic rose inside Sousuke. This line of thought… this _proof_ right in front of him, he did not want to acknowledge it. Years of hating the boy made him stubborn to accept this new idea. “Then, when you met Rin, was he the same in school?”

As if he was understanding it slowly, Makoto’s expression showed pity. “He wanted to talk to Haruka. He wasn’t trying to run away. Rather, he… his memories were blurry, weren’t they?”

Sousuke nodded. “Yeah, it’s a consequence of broken bonds. The mind coping with the loss, or something. The memories re-adapt to make them feel better. The brain glosses over the moments with telepathy, and completely buries the memories heavy with evidence of their bond.”

"But…" Makoto chewed on his lip, deep in thought.

"But…?"

Makoto, when he finally looked up at Sousuke, had an expression of pain; like he didn’t want to say this, like this was the last thing he wanted to do. “Haruka didn’t forget. I don’t think he did. Not the same way Rin has.”

"What?" Sousuke let that sink in. He inhaled sharply, gritting his teeth and clenching his fists on either side of his legs. It was easy to figure out what happened, just with that. He has talked to a variety of professionals, pestered so many adults into telling him things they didn’t want to share. He interviewed soulmates and watched endless documentaries.

Broken bonds were rare for people so young. Broken bonds of a two-way telepathy soul bond was rare, even for adults.

No one ever talks about what happens when it’s not a clean breaking. That was a once-in-a-blue-moon event. Sousuke only heard about it in gossips. It was not supposed to be real.

"Partial break," he whispered, mostly to himself. "It’s not-" He took a large breath, trying to calm down. "Nanase didn’t break the bond."

Makoto looked like he was seconds away from panicking, hand stretched towards the screen in an aborted motion. He let it fall down and asked quietly, almost as if he was scared it would break Sousuke, “Then, Rin did?”

Sousuke nodded once, then, “Yes, but-” He shook his head, trying to organize his thoughts. “That’s not important. That’s-” It _was_ important. It was important because Rin wasn’t supposed to give up like that. Rin was the romantic boy who dreamed of meeting his soulmate. It was important because _Sousuke believed in him all this time_. But it was not the most important point right now. Sousuke could feel betrayed at a later date. He could sulk about it later, cry about it even.

What was important was- “Nanase didn’t _break the bond_. At all. He- There’s something called a partial break.” He explained quickly, breath coming fast and erratic. “When one of them breaks the bond, it’s often so painful that the bond breaks completely. They both give it up. The pain gets to be too much that their brain rejects all of it. But sometimes… Sometimes, someone can hold on.” He couldn’t even believe it was a possibility. “It’s all pain and nightmares and everything bad, and it won’t stop until they destroy the bond for good.”

**\---**

_Rin was his 12-years old self, having shorter limbs and longer hair that felt weird and out of place. He was under water; deep, deep into the sea right beside the Iwatobi beach where his dad drowned. It never really scared him, this place. It was just the sea. It was just a body of water. His dad and the other fishermen were just unlucky. There were no monsters under the sea._

_That’s what he sincerely believed, but when he looked down, there were black, slimy tendrils wrapping around his feet, pulling him down and rendering him unable to move. White, hot fear coursed through his veins. The water was not safe._

_The water was going to kill him._

_He struggled against it, steeling his resolve to get away. He moved his arms to try to swim upwards, towards the open air, towards land, towards safety. He won’t let the darkness take him. Not again. **Never again**._

_“Rin, please,” a soft voice called out to him from deep within the darkness, at the very center of the thing that wanted to hurt him. “Come back, Rin,” it pleaded._

_“No!” He cried out and struggled harder. The fear was overwhelming. There was certainty inside him, that the large looming darkness was a bad thing. It wanted to eat him whole. It wanted to destroy him. **Again** , his mind offered. It was going to destroy him **again.**_

_He won’t let it in, not this time. He was done with it._

_No matter how soft the voice was, no matter how deceiving, it was the voice that promised him pain._

_“Rin, please,” it continued on calling him, sounding determined but weak. “Come back, please.”_

**_“NO!”_ **

His eyes shot open as he woke up, sweat lining his brows and muscles tingling as if he was really struggling from something. It took him a few seconds to realize it was just a dream, another nightmare that continued to haunt him. He looked around and was thankful to see that his mother wasn’t there to see how pathetic he was this time. He didn’t want her to worry about him all the time.

With shaky legs, he stood up to go downstairs. He needed a glass of water, or maybe a cup of coffee to stop him from falling asleep again. He was not sure. His whole body felt weak and his mind was still reeling, but the idea of rest scared him still. It felt like the monster was still out to get him.

"It’s getting worse."

He stopped on his tracks as he heard his mom’s voice from the living room. A quick peek revealed that she was talking on the phone.

"Yeah, I know. I just-" She made a frustrated noise, looking so much older than her age. She brushed her hair back and sighed. "I’ll talk to him. I’ll do it tomorrow, as soon as I can. Hm… Yeah. I got the address from Sousuke-kun."

He frowned in confusion. Whose address? Why Sousuke?

There was silence as the person on the other line continued to speak. And then, “You can’t tell me that,” she retorted heatedly. “My husband was the same. He broke it and he lived to be happy, you know that! Rin can do the same. I know he can.”

All of that just added confusion to his already muddled mind. He stepped back and quietly went back to his room, already feeling the start of a fever crawling through him. He knew what his mom was saying was significant, but as he bundled himself up and sat on the corner of his bed, he couldn’t dredge up the energy to think more about it.

"Maybe tomorrow," he whispered to himself as he stared at the ceiling. "I’ll figure things out tomorrow."

**\---**

Haruka had one of the worst nightmares yet that night, with him being enveloped in total darkness and only being able to make out a shape at the end of the deep abyss. Rin was there with him, crying and pained like in every single dream he has. Haruka tried calling out to him. It did not work this time, either. He doesn’t know why he still tries.

When he woke up, he felt sluggish, slow and lethargic. It was getting worse, he realized. Rin’s presence changed something, and whatever it was, it made the effects more painful.

He briefly wondered if Rin felt it too.

_Maybe not_ , he thought bitterly. After all, it was Rin; oblivious, emotional Rin whose mind continues to be quiet.

His bath took longer than usual, as expected. Staying under water and counting the seconds made him feel better, especially when he felt the nothingness along with it. It was the only way to quiet his own traitorous head and its instincts to think about his soulmate. It was the only way to silence his heart.

_21, 22, 23…_

This way, he won’t have to keep on seeing the sad profile of Rin’s 12-years old self. He won’t have to think about how his stupid voice hasn’t been ringing inside his head in five years.

_24, 25, 26…_

This way, he won’t feel the weight in his stomach, that twinge that reminds him that Rin’s house was just a jog away. He won’t feel the overwhelming need to comfort the guy whenever his expression reveals sadness.

_27, 28, 29…_

This way, he can pretend the pain did not exist.

It took him thirty seconds before he had to raise his head above the water. And when he did, he could still feel the pain right there under his skin. He could pretend all he wants, but it stayed there all the same.

The walk to school and the classes that day were all a blur. He remembered Aki greeting him, remembered Makoto looking spaced out, remembered Nagisa checking up on him before class, but his mind was too fogged up to react. One look to his side revealed Rin’s seat was empty. He was absent for some reason. It was the first time since he came back. He was never absent before, not even when they were in elementary.

Haruka tried to pretend he wasn’t worried. He tried to pretend he didn’t have an inkling of why Rin was not here. Even though he knew the nightmares were getting worse and that Rin looked as pained as him sometimes, it still was not confirmation that he was suffering the same way Haruka was. Maybe he had the flu. _Maybe_.

The whole group, Makoto with the first years, joined him for lunch at the rooftop. They sent him worried glances as usual but carried on their conversations eagerly, talking about swimming and their homeworks as if nothing was amiss, talking as if this wasn’t the first time they were all having lunch together; and that it was just because Rin wasn’t here to break them into their usual factions.

“Is Rin-chan okay?”

Haruka zoned in to hear Nagisa’s worried question. All of them looked at Gou expectantly, though Makoto still looked too out-of-it to be normal.

Gou looked down and poked at her lunchbox before answering. “He couldn’t get up the bed this morning,” she answered, frowning in obvious distress. “He was dizzy. I don’t think he’s sleeping well. I-“ she bit her lip and tightened her hold on her chopsticks. “I…” She glanced up at Haruka for a moment before shaking her head. “He’s just tired. Don’t worry about it.”

_What did she see in Haruka’s expression? Was he that obvious?_

“Can I-“ Makoto spoke for the first time, looking straight at Gou with a quiet determination Haruka hasn’t seen in a while. He was serious about this, whatever _this_ was. “Can I visit him? I’ll walk home with you, if that’s alright.”

Haruka felt his own eyes widen just a bit in surprise. Nagisa’s expression mirrored his as well, and his eyes darted around as if waiting for another reaction. Rei stared at Makoto with confusion in his face, as if trying to solve a particularly difficult puzzle.

Gou blinked for a few seconds before nodding. “Sure,” she said, though she sounded cautious. “I’m not sure he’ll be awake enough to talk, though.”

Makoto smiled softly and said, “I just need to see him. Thanks.”

Nagisa looked like he was itching to join Makoto in that, to say he wanted to see Rin too. Rei pulled his sleeve and looked him in the eye though, obviously conveying something through their telepathy. After a few seconds, Nagisa pouted but nodded obediently.

“If Mako-chan won’t walk with Haru-chan today, then can we visit Haru-chan’s house?” He directed his begging expression towards Haruka. Rei looked hopeful as well. “I really miss hanging out at yours.” With the way they were communicating earlier, it was obviously more than that. Rei probably needed to talk to Haruka and needed Nagisa’s support. That was how Haruka saw them, at least.

“I don’t think that’s-“ Makoto had his patented ‘taking-care-of-Haruka’ expression, hands raised up in front of him as if to stop their request and shield Haruka from anything stressful.

Haruka just nodded though, throwing a curious look at Makoto before saying, “I don’t mind.” In fact, this was good. The two had a positive soulbond and Rei seemed to be the type to research things. He’s been boasting about the new books he’s read about swimming, after all. He must have read about soulbonds as well. This would be the perfect chance to pick at his brain a little. Maybe Rei would have answers for him.

As soon as the bell rang, Makoto was standing up with his bag slung on his shoulder. He looked twitchy.

“You don’t have to visit Rin if you don’t want to,” Haruka said, narrowing his eyes. “Don’t force yourself.”

Makoto chuckled, tension ebbing from his expression. “It’s not like that,” he explained, giving him a small smile. “I just have things I need to do. Ah, I’ll see you tomorrow?” He waited for Haruka to nod before he walked off to Gou’s classroom. At least he didn’t look that nervous anymore. That was good enough for now.

Haruka took his time placing things in his bag before walking out of the room as well, not surprised to see Nagisa and Rei already waiting for him there. Nagisa must have dragged Rei here as soon as he could. It was another constant image the pair gave Haruka. “Let’s go,” he said as soon as he was close enough.

Rei nodded, while Nagisa peeked at the room and asked “Mako-chan left already?”

“He did,” Haruka answered as they went on their way.

For a long moment after that, there was only silence. He could feel Nagisa vibrating with excitement behind him and Rei giving him curious looks every now and then, but they were giving him the quiet he wanted. He knew the two were treating him delicately, tiptoeing around him the same way they do with Rin sometimes (only sometimes because Nagisa seemed to like using shock therapy on the other boy more; case and point, the swimming pool last week). It wasn’t exactly a nice feeling, if Haruka was being honest. He had spent five years of his life with a palpable hole in his soul and yet he never broke. He wouldn’t start breaking down now. They didn’t have to worry about him.

“Haruka-senpai,” Rei spoke as soon as they were at the door of Haruka’s house. He stopped, looked at Nagisa, and then shut his mouth as if unsure of what he wanted to say. He was still in the mindset of someone who was barging in, who wasn’t close enough to ask personal questions. It was obvious in the way he needed acknowledgement before asking them things.

That in mind, Haruka just opened the door and gestured the two inside. “Come in,” he said. “Rei, do you want to help me get some drinks and snacks?”

Rei looked dumbfounded for a second, only nodding in agreement when Nagisa nudged him. “Ah, ah! Sure!” He smiled shyly as he took off his shoes to come in the house. Nagisa’s expression turned all soft and warm as he watched his soulmate, and then he offered Haruka a huge, ear-to-ear grin. _Thank_ _you_ , his whole expression was saying. “I’ll go to the living room and look at Haru-chan’s photo albums then!” Nagisa announced happily before running inside.

“Don’t touch anything,” Haruka said, even though he knew it was useless. Nagisa would have all the photo albums out by the time they were finished preparing snacks, he was sure. “Come on,” he gestured towards the entryway when Rei continued to look awkward. “I’ve got some sweet bread.”

Rei followed him to the kitchen and readily took the cups from the counter when Haruka pointed him towards that direction. “Are those strawberry-filled?”, he asked when Haruka took out the bread from the refrigerator. He smiled. “Those are Nagisa-kun’s favorite.”

“Yeah,” he confirmed. He still remembered the first time Nagisa bought all of the strawberry-filled bread in the convenience store after they went running. Rin looked so disgusted and Makoto politely said he needed to eat at home so he couldn’t eat snacks. Nagisa had left half of those in Haru’s refrigerator because he was “always in Haru-chan’s house anyway”. It was one of the things he loved about the younger boy, that effortless way he sneaked into people’s hearts without the person knowing. He wormed his way into all of their lives, and they were thankful for it.

Shaking his head to rid of the memories, he looked at Rei and asked, “He told you he liked it?”

Rei shook his head, laughing. “It was obvious,” he explained. “He always ate those for lunch. It was…” He scrunched up his nose with distaste. “He ate a lot of it.”

Haruka couldn’t help but smile. “He does.”

Rei must have seen something in his expression because he relaxed completely, all the remaining tension flushing out of his body. “I have to, uh, I have to observe a lot of things when it comes to Nagisa,” he shared, scratching at his cheek sheepishly. “It’s not hard, because he’s so excited about things, but I still have to, because he can just look me in the eyes to hear me. For him, it’s more about his movements than what he says.”

“Is it hard? Knowing he can read your mind?” Haruka was glad he didn’t have to find a way to broach the topic. It felt like Rei was giving him a chance to ask his questions.

“The advantages weighs more than the disadvantages, I guess,” he answered, looking towards the direction of the living room. “I’ve- I’ve always thought it was a beautiful thing, being able to hear someone’s deepest thoughts. I think the reason why I don’t have it is because Nagisa-kun didn’t need me to?” He looked back at Haruka with a light blush on his cheeks. “He’s the kind of person to show rather than tell, to use touch instead of words. But me, I like explaining things, and he had to stop moving for him to look me in the eye. It was the best way for us to communicate.”

Haruka mulled over those words as Rei filled a pitcher with juice. “You mean the bond accommodated you both?”

Rei nodded. “That’s what it is, isn’t it? Biology and chemistry coming into play to make sure the most compatible people gets to communicate the way they should.”

“My parents had two-way telepathy.” Haruka found himself blurting out, righteous anger rising inside him that wasn’t supposed to be there. “They were the most compatible people so they didn’t need anyone else.” He couldn’t hide the scorn in his words.

It took a few seconds before Rei understood the implications of his words and tone. He placed the spoon down and froze as realisation hit him. “I’m-“ He cleared his throat. “I’m so-“

Haruka shook his head immediately, feeling the anger disappear just like that. It wasn’t Rei’s fault that his bond went well. “Don’t worry,” he said, placing the sweet buns in the basket beside the tray of drinks for something to do. “I understand. Not everyone sees it that way.”

The drinks and snacks were all ready now but Rei wasn’t moving. He was staring down at the kitchen counter, expression thoughtful. “But you do? You think soulbonds aren’t… You think they’re bad?”

“Not yours,” Haruka pointed out, even though his answer was mostly yes.

Rei picked up on that nuance easily. “But a lot of the bonds are bad?”

Haruka tried to think of how to explain it to someone who doesn’t know how it feels to wake up every night in a bed with pillows soaked in tears, who doesn’t know the emptiness inside when your soulmate rejects you, who doesn’t know the feeling of a son left all alone by his soulbonded parents. There were no words to explain the pain. “Yes,” he answered. “I think so.”

“Are you-“ The tension was back in Rei’s shoulders, his back ramrod straight as he looked directly at Haruka. “You don’t want to be with your soulmate then?”

_I don’t_ was the right answer, was the answer he’s always fed himself. _I don’t want to be Rin’s soulmate_ were the words he repeated inside his head before he went to sleep. _I want to stop feeling this_ was what he thought when he saw Rin panic in the water last Friday.

But he couldn’t say it out loud. He couldn’t say it without feeling like it’s a lie, like how it was every time he told himself that.

Every time he thought “I don’t want to”, his mind would give him the image of Rin smiling as he thought “you’re beautiful”. Every time he thought “stop this already”, his mind would replay how Rin smiled at him after the relay. Every time he thought he didn’t want anything to do with Rin anymore, his mind would remind him of how Rin earnestly said he would come back.

Every time he thought the pain was too much, his mind would flash back to the last image he had of Rin, of Rin crying on the ground, of the soft ‘I’m sorry’ in his head when he said ‘I don’t want to be your soulmate anymore’, of the sadness and the lack of anger in the last moments of their bond.

It reminded him of the intense need to help, of the intense need to support, of the intense need to keep holding on, of the intense hope that Rin had planted in him the moment they won the relay.

Of the way he wanted to smile at Rin when they finished cleaning the pool just a few weeks ago.

Of the feeling of _home_ that Rin brought him the first time they saw each other again.

“You’ve met him, haven’t you?” Rei’s expression was that of warm understanding. “You’ve-“

Before he could finish that question, the doorbell rang. Without even looking at Rei, Haruka rushed over to the door. It was a chance to escape this conversation so he’d take it, no matter who it was.

What greeted him when he opened the door was scarlet hair and sharp red eyes, familiar but not quite. She was a middle-aged woman, her hair in a pixie cut, wearing a business suit and clutching on a small black purse. Her eyes roamed his face, as if waiting for recognition. He wasn’t exactly sure who she was, but she looked like an older Gou, if Gou would grow up to be a strict businesswoman.

This must be the woman who raised Rin and Gou all by herself after her husband died, and who sent her son alone to a foreign country at the young age of _twelve_.

“How may I help you?”, he asked, as polite as he could. Behind him, he could hear quiet footsteps. Nagisa and Rei must be curious. They didn’t make themselves known, though, thankfully.

She ignored his question and instead asked, “Nanase Haruka?” with narrowed eyes.

He stared at her for a beat, before nodding. He didn’t know what else to say to that.

She sighed and gave him a stern look, as if she was disappointed in him. It doesn’t work with Haruka, of course, because he’s lived his whole life without authority figures messing with his lifestyle. He won’t start being affected by them now either. He won’t back down no matter what she needed. Agreeing and letting one Matsuoka in was the source of his problems, after all.

“I’m Keiko Matsuoka, Rin and Gou’s mother.” She stopped for a second, seemingly gauging his reaction. He refused to give her any. “I’m here to talk about Rin’s…” She pursed her lips, expression hardening. “Rin’s connection with you.”

He stared at her for a while, barely registering the soft gasp behind him and then the hurried footsteps away. When she raised an eyebrow, he frowned and opened the door further, trying to figure out how he knew it. Even Makoto wasn’t sure about Haruka and Rin’s bond, no matter how close he was to both of them during the time when it still existed.

“Come in,” he said, but stopped when he belatedly realized there were other people in the house. He looked down at the floor and noticed the shoes weren’t there anymore. _Did they leave through the backdoor?_ He stepped back to let her in, deciding to focus in this instead. “Do you want-“

She waved him off, taking her shoes off and stepping in without further ado. “I won’t be here long,” she said. “I just need you to answer some questions for me.”

He lead her to the living room, where she sat elegantly with her legs tucked under her. He mirrored her action, putting his hands on his lap as he waited for her to speak.

“You are aware that you had a bond with my son, aren’t you?” She watched him like a hawk, eyes intent as if his answer would decide if she would attack or not.

“Yes,” he answered easily. That was easy enough.

“It was a two-way telepathy soulbond and you discovered it when he transferred to your school back in elementary, correct?”

He nodded.

“And when he came back after a year in Australia, he broke it?”

He gritted his teeth, freezing up, but he forced himself to relax before saying, “Yes, he did.”

“And you held on.” Her eyes never left his face, expression never wavering from the calculating expression she had.

He frowned and blinked at her in confusion. “I don’t-“

“You don’t know?” She leaned back and raised an eyebrow at him. “You’ve been having nightmares every night lately, right? You know the pain of the broken bond, and yet? You didn’t think to ask why?”

“The bond broke,” he said, feeling another bout of anger rising in him. “Your son broke it.”

“You would have _forgotten_ it, you would have _none_ of that pain, if you just _let him go_.” She was accusing him now. Her voice was rising as well and she was visibly getting irritated at him.

Haruka didn’t understand any of her words, didn’t know enough to reply to her, but what he knew was that Rin was the one who approached him, and that Rin’s mother had no right to speak to him this way. Not after everything. She was in his house, and he would not allow this to happen here. “Ma’am,” he used the word like a threat. “I’m sorry but I think it would be better if you-“

**DING! DONG!**

He was saved from kicking her out by the doorbell ringing. “Excuse me,” he said, standing up and rushing over to the door for the second time today. He hoped this wasn’t a worse guest. He hoped it was Gou taking her mom home.

“Haru-chan!!!”

He opened the door and was promptly hugged by Nagisa, who was damp with sweat as if he was running.

“I’m here to visit!!!” Nagisa’s voice was too loud, somehow, as if he was speaking to the whole house instead of just Haruka. One look at his face proved that to be true, in fact, because he had that mature look on; the one he rarely shows people, the one that means he understands what people need and he is willing to give it to them no matter what. “Oh?! You have a visitor? But I wanted to play!”

“Nagisa,” Haruka didn’t know what to do then. If he went back in there, he’d probably get angrier. He could just ask her to come back another time and recompose himself for now.

But her words meant something. She knew things that Haruka didn’t, and she was obviously upset about the bond. Rin was too dizzy to go to school today, and Haruka’s nightmares has been getting worse. They were both reaching their limit.

He pulled Nagisa by the wrist towards the living room. “Stay with me,” he said, though it sounded more or less like a plea. “Where’s-“

Nagisa smiled and pointed at the backdoor with his other hand. “Rei-chan’s waiting in case we needed another out,” he whispered. His smile turned into one of exaggerated excitement when they reached the living room. “Oh!” He walked over and bowed a bit. “Gou-chan’s mom!” It wasn’t clear whether he knew that because he’s been eavesdropping or because he really recognized her. “I’m Nagisa Hazuki, Gou-chan’s best friend! And Rin-chan’s like my long lost brother too. Well, me and Gou-chan joke about being twins so she shares her brother with me, I think. We’re all really close. Rin-chan taught me how to swim when I was younger! Oh, but he’s teaching me lately too!”

Keiko looked dazed when Nagisa finally stopped talking. Nagisa was good at steamrolling people like that. It was a talent Haruka had noticed since they were children. “N-nice to meet you, Hazuki-kun.” For the first time since she arrived, she looked less of a threatening predator and more of a normal mother. “Gou talks about you a lot.”

“Really?” Nagisa’s smile turned a bit more real at that.

“Yes,” she said, eyes darting over to Haruka as the two boys sat down in front of her. “She leaves her brother in the morning sometimes to walk with you, I heard.” She wiped her hand on her skirt, obviously on the move to stand up. “Well then, you have a visitor so I should-“

“No,” Haruka said, shaking his head. “It’s fine. You wanted to tell me something.”

“But-“

“I won’t tell anyone.” Nagisa had a full-on earnest expression, eyes widening and shining in the way it does before he asks Rin to do something for him. “If it’s for Rin-chan, we all want him to feel better. We just- we just don’t know how to help.” Nagisa has always been better with words than him. He’s always known how to say the things Haruka can’t quite verbalize.

Keiko’s expression softened upon hearing that, nodding resignedly as she sat back down properly. “First of all, I’m sorry for barging in here like this.” She looked apologetically at Haruka. “Rin isn’t doing well, and he’s- he’s really suffering right now. I want what’s best for my son, that’s all. I didn’t think about how it felt on your part.” She bowed her head a bit before continuing, “I’m sorry for not finding you much sooner. I could have stopped this from worsening but my son never told me who he was bonded to. He-“ Her expression turned wistful. “He’s always been a romantic, saying he’ll only tell me your name when he’s sure you’ll marry him. I only knew you were swimming together. I assumed you’d be in Samezuka, which is why I let him enrol in Iwatobi instead.” She sighed, facade disappearing into an expression of frustration. “Clearly, I was wrong. It took me a while to find you. My son’s best friend told me about Rin breaking the bond, luckily. And if that’s the case…”

Her expression was pleading this time. “If that’s the case, I would like to ask you to do one thing. I need you to break the bond completely.”

“How?” Haruka’s frown deepened. He wasn’t sure he liked where this was going.

“I need you to face him and tell him that you don’t want to be his soulmate, that you will never see him as that. You need to mean it from the bottom of your heart. Believe in it. Both of you would be hurt but it would be the last time, I promise. You’re going to be free, then. As soon as it’s done, I’m going to transfer him to Samezuka, make sure you won’t see him again. Every nightmare would stop. You’ll forget being his soulmate, too.”

It was five minutes after Keiko left that Rei came in from the backdoor. He looked worried, sad, but there was something else to it.

“Haruka-senpai,” he spoke as soon as he was inside the living room. “Are you-“

“I didn’t know.” Haruka felt the words slip out of his mouth, needing it to be said instead of bottled like every other time. “I didn’t know I was doing that to us. That I was-”

Rei shook his head immediately, looking angry. “It wasn’t your fault. It isn’t.” He glanced to the side to see Nagisa nodding his head. “You didn’t know about how broken bonds work.”

“I was going to ask about it today,” Haruka admitted, feeling shame and guilt churn inside him.

“Then you would have known this from me,” Rei said, still looking angry and indignant, but not _at_ Haruka. He was indignant _for_ Haruka’s sake. It was a weird thing to see, right after seeing the judgment from Keiko’s expression. “You would have known about how broken bonds work. And about the fact that breaking it completely isn’t the only way.”

Haruka looked at him in surprise then, a wave of confusion disrupting the self-hate echoing inside him. “What?”

“Broken bonds hurt because they’re in an incomplete state.” Rei explained, tone turning into that one he uses when he’s explaining a theory to Nagisa. “The bonds aren’t there to hurt us. Pain is what comes from it being not fully realized. You break it completely when _both_ people don’t want the bond. When its non-existence is better for _both parties_.”

“I don’t-“

“You want the bond.” Nagisa interjected, before Haruka could lie to himself. “You both want the bond.”

Haruka shook his head decisively, because this one he was sure of. “Rin broke the bond. He told me he didn’t want it.”

“Then he must have his reasons,” Nagisa replied, just as sure. “Rin-chan chose Iwatobi. He chose the Swim Club. He chose to help us and he chose to be near you. All of those were his choices too.”

“You’re just going to give him another chance to choose,” Rei added. “Instead of breaking it, why not give him a choice whether to break it or reforge it again?”

“He doesn’t remember,” Haruka argued. “He doesn’t hear me anymore.”

“Then _talk_.” Nagisa leaned forward, determined and giving no space for arguments. “Tell him what you feel. Tell him why you want the bond to stay. Ask him what you want to ask.”

Haruka looked down, frowning. “I’ll just hurt him again. Breaking the bond would stop the pain.”

“You’re willing to do that even if it means never seeing Rin-chan again?” Nagisa sounded small then, looking vulnerable and like the child he really was. “You’re going to let him go away?”

“If it meant not hurting him anymore, _yes_.”

**———**

Makoto was just walking towards Haruka’s house when he received the message from Nagisa. He was surprised to see **[Still at Haru-chan’s. Want to sleepover?]** in it. Haruka doesn’t really sleepover much, and he only does when it’s at Makoto’s house, sleeping only after multiple rounds of video games. When Makoto wakes up during those times, Haruka almost always was already awake.

With his newfound knowledge, he knows it’s because of the nightmares the broken bond brought. Why would Haruka let them sleep in his house now?

Wanting to know exactly what was happening, he sent back **[omw. Almost there.]**

When he walked into the house (the front door was helpfully unlocked), he heard voices from inside, so he headed there immediately. In the living room, Haruka was nowhere in sight. Instead, there was Rei and Nagisa huddled around the table with a whiteboard in between them. Two columns were drawn on it, with the header “Pros” and “Cons”. He couldn’t read it from this angle but the “Cons” column looked practically empty.

“Hey,” he announced his presence before stepping in further. “Where’s Haru-chan?”

Nagisa pointed to the side. “He’s at the bath.”

Rei looked down at his wrist watch and frowned. “It’s been thirty minutes. Shouldn’t we-“

“No,” Makoto interjected immediately, somehow knowing Haruka needed it. He wouldn’t just leave guests in the living room like this if he didn’t. “He’s going to be fine. At least give him an hour.”

“Yep!” Nagisa nodded repeatedly. “Haru-chan needs the water to heal him.”

Makoto went ahead and sat in front of them, eyeing the whiteboard. “What is it he needs to heal from?” On the top of the two columns was the title 'Bring back Rin-chan'.

Nagisa’s expression changed to a serious one as he explained the whole situation. Makoto knew Rin was suffering, has seen it firsthand earlier, and he knew how far a parent could go for their children. Even so, he still felt the same indignance that Rei felt. The same way he got angry when Sousuke talked about Haruka in that dissing way, he felt his hackles rise at Rin’s mom’s words.

And the moment he heard Rei’s suggestion of reforging the bond, he felt a tiny seed of hope bloom inside him. Both Rin’s mom and Sousuke only talked about the complete break-off, and obviously never considered a reforging. If what Rei said was true, this doesn't have to end with goodbye. They could still fix things. They won 't need to give up.

By the time Haruka had toweled off and changed into his pajamas, the writings on the whiteboard has already been swiped clean, and the whiteboard itself was put back from where Nagisa found it. Though there were things to talk about and important issues to discuss, the three knew that what they needed right now was to sleep it off. Most of all, what Haruka needed was the comfort of friends.

Makoto firmly believed that being around them would at least help Haruka feel less alone, less like he needed to solve this problem on his own. Rei had agreed, citing that all they could do right now was offer their silent presence and willing ear to listen. Nagisa just smiled widely and immediately decided that what they needed was a “cuddle pile”.

“Hey,” Haruka greeted, nodding towards Makoto as he walked inside the living room. He looked much more relaxed than before, to everyone’s relief. Water time really does help him. He looked at the three quietly in contemplation, before moving forward to take a seat beside Makoto. He didn’t say anything. He most likely didn’t want to.

“Is it okay if we stay?” Nagisa has that ability to make any question seem rhetorical, like saying no was never an option no matter what the question was about. His wide, begging eyes just added more effect.

Haruka shrugged, a simple agreement, which made Nagisa smile widely and scoot over to hug him on the side. “Hm,” Haruka just hummed and relaxed into the touch. It would look like resignation to anyone else but Makoto knew how much Haruka wanted that comfort as much as Nagisa wanted to give it.

Makoto slid closer as well, pressing on Haruka’s other side to offer his own comfort. Rei, despite looking awkward about it, moved towards Nagisa’s side and let his arm snake around Nagisa’s shoulder to reach Haruka’s arm.

Entangled like that, with Haruka easing into them without any protest, made Makoto think that perhaps they really needed this.

**\---**

**[From:** Tachibana

**To:** Yamazaki

_I went to Rin-chan’s house earlier to check on him. I’m at Haru-chan’s place right now. Were you the one who told Rin’s mom about Haru?_ **]**

**[From:** Yamazaki

**To:** Tachibana

_Yes. You’ve seen Rin, so you should understand. Rin’s getting worse. Auntie really needed this._ **]**

**[From:** Tachibana

**To:** Yamazaki

_I know. I saw Rin. But... you’ve never seen Haru-chan, right?_ **]**

**\---**

Sousuke closed his phone and refused to reply to that, guilt and shame and undeniable amount of regret already filling him up. For someone everyone talks about to be a kind and understanding gentleman, Makoto sure had a way of making Sousuke feel worse. It wasn’t on purpose, he was sure. He had seen how inappropriately worried Makoto looked and how his voice turned all soft when they found out about the partial break. Makoto wasn’t cruel, but he was probably just as protective as Sousuke was.

If someone ever hurt Rin, Sousuke would be even more hostile. As it was, Makoto just knew where to push the guilt buttons. Sousuke had many.

“Sousuke-kun?”

Sousuke looked up from where he was staring at his phone, the sight of Gou’s questioning expression bringing him back to the present. _Right_. He was at the Matsuoka Household’s living room because he was worried about Rin. His condition was worsening by the second and since it seems he can’t do anything else, he might as well just be there for his best friend. He’ll hold Rin’s hand through it all, if that was what he needed.

He shook his head, shaking off his thoughts. Gou was still looking at him curiously.

“Yeah, sorry,” he said, offering a sheepish smile at her. “I was just thinking.”

“About a text?” Gou asked with a pointed look to the phone still gripped tight in his fist. “Is something bothering you?”

“Nah, I’m fine. Rin’s the one that’s worrying me more.”

At the mention of her brother, a deep frown appeared on her face. “He’s eating in his room. Wanna join him?”

Rin was sitting up on his bed when Sousuke came in but he didn’t look up from staring at his soup listlessly. He was pale and sweating slightly, looking more sick than that one time he couldn’t go to school because of the flu epidemic back in 4th grade. Sousuke thought Gou’s text messages were worrying, but seeing it in person made it all the more obvious.

“You look like shit,” Sousuke greeted lightly. It was better to ignore all his feelings right now and focus on making Rin feel better.

“Fuck you,” Rin shot back without heat, chuckling a bit as he looked up. His voice was weak as well but the amusement made it better. “Come here so I can transfer my germs to you.”

Sousuke laughed and sat down on the foot of the bed, deliberately keeping a distance. “Nah,” he said. “I’d rather not.”

“What kind of best friend are you?” Rin feigned a gasp. His eyes were at least alight with glee. That was a nice thing to see.

“The kind who takes time to visit a stupid best friend who caught a flu?” Sousuke grinned impishly, finding comfort in the easy banter. “I thought idiots don’t get sick.”

“I’m pretty sure I got a higher grade than you in all our subjects.” Rin looked smug.

Sousuke rolled his eyes and poked at his feet. “Shut up and eat.”

Quieting down, Rin nodded and went back to slurping his soup slowly. The silence stretched as Sousuke watched him and Rin continued eating. Moments later, Gou opened the door and walked in with a tray of food for them. Sousuke immediately stood up to help her.

“You should sit close to me, Gou.” Rin pointed to the bean bag beside his bed. “Sousuke has cooties.”

Sousuke raised an eyebrow. “You’re the one who’s sick.”

“ _Cooties_ ,” Rin repeated with seriousness, ignoring Sousuke and looking at Gou. “You’re safer with me.”

Gou just laughed at that, following his brother’s instructions and sitting down on the bean bag after placing the tray on the side table. She took one bowl of gyudon and passed it over to Sousuke and then took one for her own. “Brother’s weirdness increases when he’s sick,” she told Sousuke. “You just have to accept it.”

“Oh I know,” Sousuke said empathically. “I’m used to it.”

Rin scrunched up his nose and glared at Sousuke. “Let’s stop talking about me being sick. Let’s talk about…” He looked down at his soup, slurped some while thinking, and then said, “Huh, I don’t know much about what’s happening in your life, actually. You only talk about swimming. Or your teammates.”

“What else would I talk about?”

“Girlfriend?” Gou asked, glancing over to her brother to smile conspiratorially. “We want to know about Sou-chan’s personal life!”

Sousuke blinked at the two, before opening his mouth to gape at them. “Are you serious?” He scowled. “No one has time for that.”

“Momo-kun and Nitori-kun seems to be doing well enough!” Gou argued.

“...You haven’t seen them as much as I have” was Sousuke’s only answer, shuddering as he remembered how Momo would appear after practice all the time and make Nitori run around the forest with him like the wild child he was. “I just don’t think it’s necessary.”

“Ah, yes.” Rin nodded his head as if he just understood something. “Of course. The anti-romantic Sousuke Yamazaki definitely doesn’t want to find love. You used to tell me you don’t want to meet your soulmate. A really gloomy guy, that’s what you are, deep inside.”

Sousuke frowned. “I haven’t changed my mind. Soulmates are overrated.” He shrugged. “Besides, our parents are both not soulbonded and they’re still happy.”

Rin groaned, scowling at Sousuke. “Not this again. As if I don’t hear this enough from mom.”

“What? I thought you liked it. Isn’t this right in your alley, Mr. Romantic?” He really couldn’t imagine Rin, out of all people, not loving that particular story. The three of them grew up with it, and despite Rin’s belief in soulmates, he was also a fan of true love. He looked at Gou and saw her nodding as well, a defensive expression on her face as if she would argue any time soon.

Placing his spoon down and raising both hands up in surrender, Rin looked at the two with a wry expression. “Believe me, I do enjoy that story. I just don’t think it’s enough reason to give up on soulmates.”

“Well,” Gou started, looking down at the bed thoughtfully. “I don’t think Sousuke-kun is giving up on soulmates. I think we’re alike?” She glanced at Sousuke and continued, “We just think it’s not our priority. We can love other people, too. Like how dad fell in love with mom even if they’re not soulmates.”

“Right.” Sousuke nodded. “And even when uncle saw his soulmate, it didn’t change anything. He was in love with auntie and he wouldn’t leave her just because of some mystical connection.”

“Isn’t it sweet?!” Gou exclaimed. “You’ve always said it was sweet!”

“Yeah,” Rin conceded, shoulders slumping. “I still do think it’s sweet.” He sighed. “I just… don’t you wonder sometimes? Where’s mom’s soulmate now? Or what happened to dad’s soulmate after that?”

Gou scrunched up her nose, obviously never having considered that. “I think I heard something about that from mom. I just don’t-”

“Didn’t uncle’s soulmate come here when aunt was still pregnant with Rin?” Sousuke asked, trying to recall that particular part of the story. “She said she wanted to get to know uncle or something. And auntie was going to say okay?” He laughed then, finally remembering the rest of it. “Uncle was so angry. He said the bond didn’t mean anything so they should just erase it.”

Gou smiled as she recalled it as well. “He said he had a responsibility to his family, and he loved mom above anything in this world.”

Rin’s expression was unreadable as he picked up his spoon and finished the remaining soup in silence. He stared down and didn’t react to their words. The two continued to eat as well, both deciding that Rin needed the quiet time to think.

A few minutes later, with all their bowls clean and piled up at the side table, Sousuke decided to try testing the waters. “Hey,” he said, jostling Rin’s leg to get his attention. “How about you? Are you still completely pro-soulmates, Mr. Romantic?” He inserted just enough amount of playfulness in it so as not to sound too serious, afraid of doing anything that would worsen Rin’s condition.

Lying down on his back, Rin stared at the ceiling and laced his hands together on his stomach. “I’m not really thinking about it,” he answered. “It’s just- I guess I just feel bad for those people who believes in finding their soulmate, only to see them already with someone else. The regret must be overwhelming.” He sighed. “Man, that must suck.”

Gou made a humming, thoughtful noise. “But I think if you really believed soulmates meant love, then you’d want them to be happy, right?”

“ _If you love them, set them free_ , huh?” Rin closed his eyes and chuckled. “That’s true.”

**\---**

_The moment Nagisa shouted “Rin-chan!” and tapped the wall, Rin launched himself towards the water with no hesitation, thinking to himself ‘we can do this we can do this we can do this’. His arms and legs moved freely, as if even the water was pushing him forward and supporting him. In his head, he could still see the smiles of his teammates. He could still hear Makoto’s “We’re going to win, right?” and Nagisa’s “Of course we are, right Rin-chan?!”. He could still feel the warmth that enveloped him the moment Haruka looked him in the eyes and thought “We can do it.”_

_By the time he kicked off the other side of the pool, he knew he was way ahead of everyone. Most of the time, that was all that mattered._

_But today, it wasn’t just a competition. He wanted to be faster. He wanted to reach Haruka faster._

_His eyes were trained forward, towards the wall that would connect him with Haruka._

_With one last push, he tapped it and shouted, “Haru!”_

_Like a burst of light, like a star, like the most beautiful thing Rin has ever seen, Haruka soared above him. The water that splashed in his wake formed a small rainbow, and Rin thought “Ah, I guess this is what they call love.”_

**\---**

Nagisa felt himself waking up too early, unused to sleeping on a futon and too sensitive to the soft noise from the bed. He sat up to see Haruka standing up and arranging his blanket. “Haru-chan?” He rubbed his eyes sleepily. “It’s...” He looked outside to see it’s still dark out. “It’s still midnight.”

Haruka looked at him with tired eyes, face pale even in the meager lighting in the room. “Go back to sleep,” he whispered.

“No,” Nagisa whispered back, gingerly moving out of the futon and crawling to Haruka’s side before standing up. He took Haruka’s arm and pulled him towards the door, closing it beside them as they continued down towards the living room. “Do you need a drink? Go to the toilet?”

“I’m fine,” Haruka said unconvincingly, what with the face and the strangely emotional voice. “Go back to sleep, Nagisa.”

Nagisa stopped then, taking his other hand and holding both of it in between them. “I’m here. We’re here right now,” he said, voice completely earnest. “You don’t have to carry this alone anymore. We’re getting Rin-chan back.”

Haruka shook his head, eyes turned downwards. “We’re not doing that.” His voice didn’t even waver. There was certainty in it that wasn’t there before. He thought about it, and this was his answer.

Staring at him for a beat, Nagisa sighed and turned his back again, letting go of one hand and pulling the other until they were finally at the living room. Nagisa pushed Haruka towards one seat, and then sat beside him. “Why?”

Haruka frowned. “I told you. It’s so he won’t get hurt anymore. His mother said the pain would stop, for both of us.”

Nagisa nodded, humming in thought, before taking his phone from where he left it on the table earlier. It was hard to convince someone of anything without proof, he knew that. There was hardly any point in talking Haruka into considering the reforging if he thought Rin would be better off without the bond. In hindsight, it’s probably the most obvious plan of action. But Nagisa refuses to give up.

“You know,” Nagisa started, clicking on his phone and looking through the videos he took lately. “When we went to swim together last Friday, I thought ‘Ah~ it would be great if we could all swim together!’ but every time Rin-chan or Haru-chan was in the pool, the other would run away.” Finally seeing what he needed, he clicked on the file and clutched on the phone with both hands. “It made me sad, to think it was impossible to be together. I just wanted us together again, but why is that so hard?”

He looked down, trying to contain his emotions, knowing full well this wasn’t about him right now. This was about two of the most important people in his life. This was about their happiness now and in the future.  “Even though you’ve always been fighting each other, I thought Haru-chan and Rin-chan would always be together, and me and Mako-chan would always be there, too. No matter what happened, _nothing_ can destroy what we had.” He laughed a bit, voice cracking as tears fell. There was no helping it. It’s been an emotionally-tiring day for all of them. “It was magical, wasn’t it? Not just your bond. We had it, too. All of us. That relay… I can’t ever forget it. It was the most beautiful feeling.” He wiped at his face, biting his lip. “You felt it too, right? Do we really have to give it up?”

“Nagisa-”

Looking up finally, Nagisa smiled through his tears and pushed his phone towards Haruka’s chest. “I don’t think Rin-chan wants to give it up. I believe somewhere deep inside him, he still wants to be with you. With us.”

Haruka looked down on the phone, seeing a video on the screen. He glanced at Nagisa once before looking back down to play it.

On screen, Rin was scowling at Rei who was falling down the pool like a deadweight as always. _“How is this even real?”_ he was saying, looking right at the person behind the camera. _“And don’t take my picture, seriously.”_ That was just answered by a laugh from Gou. _“Nagisa, is he human?”_ Rin looked at the side where Nagisa was paddling forward to get to Rei.

_“Maybe?”_ The Nagisa onscreen giggled. _“Haru-chan said the water rejects Rei-chan.”_

The camera focused back on Rin whose face softened as he quietly said, _“He would say that.”_ His whole expression showed fondness. _“Geez, he’s really still weird, isn’t he?”_ He laughed, a real one, and something in Haruka’s expression changed. Nagisa saw that storm of expressions again: the pain, the longing and then the careful blankness.

“Hey,” Nagisa placed a hand on Haruka’s shoulder. “Didn’t I just say we’re here?” Playfully poking on Haruka’s cheek, he forced on a smile. “None of that expression, please. If you want to cry, I’m right here.” He moved forward and hugged Haruka, leaning his head on Haruka’s shoulder. “I’m right here.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Haruka whispered before slowly reaching around and clutching on Nagisa’s smaller frame, taking that offered warmth and support he badly needed.

**\- - -**

It took two days for Rin to be cleared of going back to school by both his mom and Gou. They were worried about him, and he understood that. Still, it was honestly over-the-top. He was fine. Sure, he looked paler than his usual complexion and he still got dizzy every now and then, but it was nothing he couldn’t handle. Australia had him sleepless and still going to training, after all. Going to school? Normally? It was a piece of cake.

Besides, unlike Australia, he had more motivation to go to school here.

He wanted to check up on Rei’s swimming. He wanted to thank Makoto for visiting, even though Rin was asleep when he did. He wanted to tell Nagisa he was okay, because the boy surely would be fretting on his own without telling anyone.

He wanted to see Haruka. Just see him. That was enough.

Rin wasn’t sure if it was lucky or not, this situation.

He only wanted to see Haruka, has already accepted the reality of Haruka not wanting to be near him. But the moment he arrived in his seat, Haruka had walked to his side and looked him in the eye. Actually looked at him. It was disconcerting.

“I need to talk to you,” he said, voice serious and determined. It was the first time Rin has seen him like this. “After class, attend practice.”

Rin blinked at him in surprise, mouth opening but no sound coming out. He wasn’t even able to reply before Haruka walked back to his seat and the bell rang. He was left staring at the space Haruka vacated, mind whirring with theories on why the other boy would want to talk to him after all this time.

Did something happen in the two days he was gone?

“What the hell…?”

He glanced at Makoto for some answers, only to see him staring right back with the very same serious and determined expression Haruka was wearing earlier.

Something _definitely_ happened. Maybe he should ask Nagisa later at lunch.

“I have the rights to remain silent,” Nagisa answered when Rin asked him.

“According to the law, yeah, sure,” Rin gritted out while putting Nagisa on a headlock and giving him a noogie. “But friends don’t use the constitution against each other.”

Rei shook his head, not even batting an eye now to how Rin and Nagisa interact. He must be used to it by now. “Patriotism is not conditional, Rin-senpai.”

Rin growled at the two, and then glared at his side where Gou was just giggling in glee. “You’re all hiding something from me.”

“We’re not!” Nagisa insisted, pushing at Rin’s arm to sit properly beside Rei. “No one really knows what Haru-chan thinks, right?” He looked at Rei, smile softening as if Rei said something sweet. “We just have to trust Haru-chan.”

“That’s really worrying to hear,” Rin muttered, even though he knew he did anyway. He trusted Haruka no matter what. It was something he fundamentally understood about himself. He was Rin Matsuoka, he was a perfectionist who cried easily, he was a romantic, and he believed in Haruka Nanase with his whole heart. Those were the facts.

Something must have shown on his face, because Nagisa directed that soft smile right at him and said, “Everything’s going to be alright, Rin-chan.”

It was reassuring to hear that from Nagisa, because Nagisa doesn’t lie. Not to his friends. Not when it matters.

He rolled his eyes anyway, sighing in feigned exasperation. “Whatever,” he said. “It’s not a big deal.”

When Rin showed up after class at the pool area, only Haruka was there. Rin saw Makoto at the gate earlier, and he hasn’t seen Nagisa and the other first-years since lunch. It was possible that ‘practice’ was going to be exclusively for the two of them only.

“You’re not planning to kill me and hide me under the pool or anything, are you?” Rin raised an eyebrow at Haruka, smirking and putting a hand on his waist to put on a casual air. He did not need to look nervous right now. He needed to survive this, or better yet, he needed to use this chance to get back to Haruka’s good side, if that was still possible.

Haruka’s expression was blank as he walked in front of Rin. “Change into your swimsuit. Let’s race.”

Pause.

“What?” Rin gaped at him. “I mean, that’s cool and I would love to- but _what_?” What exactly changed in the two days he was absent from school? “Did you miss me or something?” It just slipped off, unconsciously, and he shut his mouth right after. Face heating up, he shook his head and backtracked, “You’ve been avoiding me for the past month and you just suddenly- I don’t _understand_.”

“For the last time,” Haruka cleared up, voice quieter now. He was looking down, head hanging and expression hidden. “One last race.”

“I don’t-” Rin clenched both hands, confusion filling him. “You’re not making any sense!”

“You taught Rei how to swim. The team needs you.” Haruka took a deep breath, then added, “I’m quitting. Swimming, everything.”

_**I’m quitting. This. Swimming. Everything.** _

The words echoed in his head, in his own voice. It was like his nightmare was happening in real life.

“No,” Rin shook his head, refusing to believe that this was happening. “No, you’re not. You can’t quit. Nagisa and Makoto and Rei, they need you.” He shook his head again, breathing heavily now. “I’m not a member. I _refuse_ to be a member.” He was a member by paper. Haruka was a swimmer, a beautiful and fast swimmer who is needed more. He wasn’t a fucked up husk of what he used to be. He was still fast and graceful in the water. He doesn’t freeze under water suddenly because of unknown reasons. He doesn’t get sick for no reason at all. Haruka was _needed_.

Rin wasn’t. Rin was still afraid of the water.

“They need you, okay?!” Rin stepped forward, taking Haruka by the collar. “You’re amazing and you shouldn’t quit just because you don’t want to be near me. I don’t want this.”

“You want it.” Haruka’s voice was too soft, too emotional to be normal. “You’ve always wanted this. I’m letting you go.”

“You’re not making any- You can’t-” Rin gripped him tighter, forcing Haruka to look him in the eye. “You don’t know what I want.”

Haruka kept his gaze, expression hardening as he said, “The what _do_ you want, Rin?”

Rin wasn’t ready for the question. He wanted so many things. He wanted things he wasn’t sure he could get, wasn’t sure he was prepared for. So instead of answering, he did what he was used to doing: compete. “Let’s do that race. If I win, you’ll stay in the club. If you win, you can do whatever you want.” He loosened his hold on Haruka and stepped back.

Haruka stared back at him, gaze flitting around his face as if reading what he really meant. “Fine,” he said. “I’ll win.”

A few minutes later, they stood beside each other on the end of the pool, both getting in position.

“Ready,” Rin started, glancing at Haruka to confirm. “Set, Go!”

Jumping in at the same time, Rin kicked off in a strong start, gaining a few inches immediately. He’s always been the stronger starter between the two of them, has always been the one who knew exactly where to land in the water and how to go from there. Haruka didn’t think while swimming, just swims and lets the water take him where he wants to go. He was fast exactly because of it, but Rin was still glad that he had this advantage.

He simply needed to keep swimming steadily with that precious inches he has ahead of Haruka.

It was easier said than done, of course, because even then, he could feel the effortless presence Haruka has behind him. Haruka was gaining on him.

Rin kicked on the water harder, pushed himself further.

Haruka can’t quit, not like this, not because of him. That was unacceptable.

Through his veins, he could feel something awakening. The excitement he’s buried in Australia, the passion to get ahead above everything else, the determination to win, it was all coming back to him now. This race meant too much for him to lose. This was his chance to make something right.

The water wasn’t restraining him now. There wasn’t any monsters underneath, no darkness lurking to drown him.

Instead, there was Haruka. There was the light Haruka brought whenever he swam beside Rin.

There was warmth and strength and _Rin could breath again_. Rin knew this feeling. In the back of his mind, he knew exactly when he felt this.

**_“I’m glad it’s you,” Rin said, hugging Haruka. “I’m glad I found you.”_ **

**_Haruka hugged back, tightly like he never wanted to let go. “Me, too,” he said_**.

Rin needed to win. There was no other choice. He messed up a lot of things in his life, has ruined things he probably won’t ever be able to fix, but this? This, he won’t ever give up on. Haruka loves swimming. Haruka deserves to do what he loves. Rin can’t take that away from him.

When they reached the turn, Rin expertly kicked at the wall with all his strength. Australia was hard, was filled with things he has vowed to forget, but he learned things there. He learned how to swim better, how to be faster, how to _win_. He’ll use everything in his power to do this.

As expected, Haruka gained on him more by the last 50 meters, gliding through the water unlike anything Rin has ever seen. He had inhuman grace. He was one with the water. An aquatic beast hiding inside human skin.

It was a close battle.

Rin kicking harder, swimming faster. Haruka gaining, gaining, _gaining_.

And then it ended.

“Yes!” Rin rose up the water, easy smile on his face as he pumped his fist up in a victory pose. “I won!” Now, Haruka wouldn’t do something stupid like give up swimming. He’ll continue being his graceful, beautiful self and be with everyone. He’ll be happy.

“Haru-” He stopped as he saw Haruka on the floor, head bowed down and fists clenched at his side, body shaking in little tremors. “Haru, what’s-”

“You were supposed to lose,” Haruka said, not looking up. His voice broke, like he was going to cry but was trying hard not to. “Rin, I can’t-”

Something pulsed inside Rin’s head, a painful twitch like how he felt a few days ago when he was sick. “Haru,” he kneeled down. He was getting dizzy, knees weakening for some reason. He put a hand on Haruka’s arm.

Haruka shook him off like his touch burned him. “ _I can’t do this, Rin_.”

All at once, everything felt too heavy, too painful. Rin could not hear whatever Haruka was saying next. There was that nightmare again, that awful nightmare.

_**“I can’t do this,” the young Rin said. “Haru, I can’t-”** _

Rin felt the unbearable pain for one moment.

And then, everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *throws hands up* feel free to throw tomatoes at me now
> 
> Next chapter would be up this Saturday, May 2.  
>  _Am I sure_? YES.  
>  _Why_? Because we've waited long enough for Rin to be happy and goddammit he is gonna be happy this Saturday no matter what.  
>  It's the last chapter!!!!!!!!!
> 
> shout at me at [my tumblr](http://moeblobmegane.tumblr.com/)


	6. ...has now been found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connected by the relay 5 years ago, everyone bands together to figure out how best to help Rin and Haruka.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm late by a day because I fell asleep while editing this, I'm sorry. Sleep is apparently a need???
> 
> Thank you for everyone's sweet and supportive messages! You're all too kind ;///;  
> Here's their ending, at last. Soulmate AU is my precious baby (it literally took 9 months, guys) so its very important to me, but I know it has _lots_ of flaws. I love it anyway, so I hope you find it in your heart to forgive those little things.
> 
> As always, thank you Naya for being the best and for holding my hand through these all!!! This wouldn't have even started without you! Your tears were the first ones to give life to this story lol ...okay, I have lots of feelings but I'll just say i love ya and you're great. I'll be counting on you for the spinoff too (^_^)>
> 
> Also, kuraikurage BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! THIS CHAPTER IS FOR YOU!!!!! \o/ (i'm so sorry i'm late ;n;)

_ They won. They won the relay, like how Rin’s dad did. They won the relay **and** set a new record. It was everything he ever wanted. _

_But all of that was pushed at the back of his mind when he saw Haruka get off the pool: his hair sticking to his forehead, his eyes bright, his lips upturned into a breathless smile. Haruka was beautiful. Haruka was his precious teammate, the one who made this all possible._

_And he was Rin’s soulmate; the person who was most compatible with him; the only one in the world who could look Rin in the eye and hear his thoughts._

_His beautiful, amazing soulmate._

_Rin could not help but rush over to him and hug him. There were tears in his eyes as he sobbed out, “We did it!” He hugged him tighter, emotions getting the best of him. “I’m glad it’s you,” he said. His voice was filled with the love he felt. “I’m glad I found you.”_

_He could feel Haruka smiling even without seeing it. “Me, too.” Haruka enveloped him in a hug even tighter than his was._

_Seconds later, Nagisa came barrelling forward, small arms trying to gather the two of them in an impossible hug. His arms stayed on their backs, his face smooshed on their shoulders. “We did it, Haru-chan! Rinrin!” He laughed that tinkling laugh of his, a sweet sound that made the two even happier. “Mako-chan, come here!”_

_Makoto ran to the other side and put his arms around Haruka and Rin, completing the four-way group hug._

_They stayed like that for a few more moments, laughter and sobs joining together as they clutched at each other in complete joy. Then, when they let go, they stood in a circle with huge smiles on their faces. It was an unbelievable feeling._

_Because of all of that, because of the joy and the triumph and the overflowing feelings of affection, Rin couldn’t stop himself (didn’t even try) from stepping forward and leaning in. A kiss. A soft, chaste kiss on Haruka’s lips that was practically nothing, but meant so much more._

_It was for just one second, less even. Makoto stood wide-eyed at the side. Nagisa had both hands on his mouth, stifling his gleeful giggles._

_Haruka… Haruka was surprised for just a moment, freezing, before his eyes widened and shone in that way the three knew so well. It was his expression when he looks at the sea, when he looks at their pool, when he looks at something he **wants**._

_And Rin, well. Rin’s eyes were wide as well. It was like his world shifted. It was like everything was skewed before but now it has righted its axis. It was just like those romance movies, with the slow motion and the bright lights._

_The bond was strong before, but **this** was so much more._

_Rin looked at Haruka in the eyes and, for the first time since they met, he heard **everything**._

**\- - -**

Sousuke received the news of Rin’s blackout from Makoto just as practice was ending. It was simply a way to keep him up to date but Sousuke felt panicked anyway and ended up taking the train to Iwatobi. Rin blacking out after two days of rest was an extreme situation. It was just too much. Sousuke knew something must have happened.

Haruka must have done something.

“Damn it,” Sousuke muttered, shaking his head to try and clear his traitorous head. He promised himself that he won’t see Haruka as the devil anymore. He’ll try to be logical about everything and see this situation from his perspective. He deserved that much. He was suffering just as much as Rin was. Besides, this was the Nanase Rin loved. There was no way he would be a bad person who would put Rin in danger.

By the time he arrived at Iwatobi’s infirmary, Rin was already gone. His mom had fetched him with their car immediately, so the only people in the infirmary was the nurse and Haruka.

“He’s gone,” Haruka said unnecessarily. He was staring down at the bed, eyebrows furrowed. His voice, soft and quiet, had a layer to it that Sousuke wanted to figure out. His tone felt like he meant more. _Gone_ , he’d said. _He’s gone_.

Sousuke walked over to his side, bowing in greeting to the elderly nurse who didn’t even bat an eye. “Do you mean you broke the bond?,” Sousuke asked. It sounded that way to him.

Haruka’s frown deepened, and for a moment, Sousuke wondered how he ever thought _this guy_ could plot against his best friend. He didn’t look like the type. Right now, what he looked like was a lost animal who needed shelter.

“I’m not sure,” he answered, confusion clear in his voice. “Maybe.”

_Maybe_ was not really good enough, not when Rin was unconscious and on his way to the hospital. But then, Haruka also looked pale and in need of the rest. Haruka wasn’t as physically ill but there were dark circles under his eyes as well. A partial break was made of pain and nightmares for both soulmates, wasn’t it?

_Maybe_ was all they could have for now.

“Come on,” Sousuke said, stepping forward and taking Haruka’s bag from the side of the bed. “I’ll walk you home.”

Haruka, who has been meek the whole time, narrowed his eyes at Sousuke. The first sign of distrust. “Why?”

_Rin would have wanted you safe_ , was the answer that passed through Sousuke’s head. It was the right answer. But it was the cruel one too, so he settled on saying, “You look like you need the help.” After a beat, he added, “And I needed to talk to you, anyway. Better to talk in your house than here, right?”

There was still uncertainty in Haruka’s eyes but he nodded. “Okay.”

It was a silent walk the whole trek to Haruka’s house. Sousuke figured Haruka needed to think to himself after what happened, and Sousuke was honestly just trying to piece together _this_ image of Haruka and the image he’s conjured for the five years he didn’t meet the guy. It was hard to connect such different people.

When they finally reached the house, Haruka lead the way to the living room and offered the seat readily. He was probably resigned to people barging in his house and talking to him about Rin after Keiko’s whole visit. Sousuke felt bad, since he knew from Rin how unwelcoming Haruka could be when it comes to strangers.

They sat across each other on the low table. Haruka just looked at him and waited.

“I need to know exactly what happened,” Sousuke said, right to the point. “I’d like to help.” He didn’t want to say sorry, didn’t think it would matter, so doing this was the closest he could get to asking for forgiveness.

“How would you?” The look of distrust was on full-force.

“Ever since he broke the bond, I’ve been looking through the specifics of soulbonds,” Sousuke started, throwing caution to the wind. It wasn’t the time for secrecy. He needed to go all-in. “It was… it was a way to connect myself to Rin, I guess. I wanted to be there for him, even if I physically couldn’t.”

“You knew about us?”

“I did. From the start.” He offered a wry smile, almost wincing at the sharpness of Haruka’s tone. “It was obvious from his letters that he forgot about some important things. He was vocal about his… uh, his huge crush? Though, I guess it’s more since you were soul- I mean, you _are_ soulmates.” This time, he did wince at the expression on Haruka’s face. Sousuke almost wished he was talking to _Makoto_ instead. At least the other boy was much less likely to glare at him for being bad with words. He sighed and continued. “My point is, I knew about all of it because Rin wouldn’t shut up about you.” _And your eyes and the way you swim and basically everything about you that I didn’t need to know, Sousuke added in his head._

Haruka looked away, eyes drifting over to a photo frame on the shelf. It was a few long seconds before he spoke again. “So?”

“So,” Sousuke sighed out. “This is my expertise now. If you tell me exactly what happened, I’ll be able to figure out why Rin fainted and what we can do from here.”

“Why?” Haruka’s gaze went back to him, eyes discerning. “Why do you want to help?”

_Why now?_ was probably his exact question. God, he’s like a curious little kid with all his questions. Sousuke could see why he’s Rin’s soulmate.

“Because I realized something,” he answered. He once believed Rin would never let go of his soulmate. He once believed only the best person in this whole wide world was worthy of Rin, and thus Haruka was not worthy. He once believed that the concept of soulmates was just a stupid thing.

But then he found out about Rin breaking the bond, and everything else made sense.

“When Rin was sick, I visited him. I asked him about soulmates and how he felt about them. Do you know what he said?” Haruka shook his head, so Sousuke continued, “He said he felt bad about the soulmates of people who’s already met someone else, and then he said ‘ _if you love someone, you set them free_ ’.”

Haruka looked confused now.

“I know, it doesn’t sound relevant.” Sousuke shrugged. Life was much more complicated when you know a lot. Reality was definitely stranger than fiction sometimes. “But it’s _Rin_. He’s emotional about all kinds of things. You know how he is. He’s-”

“Pushy, selfish, a brat,” Haruka enumerated, as if from memory.

Sousuke couldn’t help but laugh. Even Rin called himself those things when they were children. He was aware that he acted like a brat sometimes, and he worked it. That was why people loved him. He was a refreshing self-aware kid.

All of it was the result of the loss he experienced when he was young, though.

That thought sobered him up quickly enough. Expression turning serious, he continued, “What do you know about his dad?”

“He died when Rin was young. We saw the funeral procession.” Haruka’s eyes glazed, lost in the memory for a moment. And then he added, “Rin told us about him before the relay. He was a swimmer who quit to be a fisherman.”

Sousuke remembered how bad that was, the long months Rin lost his smile after his dad died. When he started smiling again, when he went back to competing and talking about this _great swimmer_ from Iwatobi, Sousuke thought the wounds from those days were healed. The revelations lately made it obvious that this was not the case, though. Some things changes you forever.

“There’s more to it than that,” he said. “Uncle was on his way to becoming an Olympic athlete. He had the ability and the determination for it. He met Auntie while training, and they fell in love. Auntie got pregnant with Rin.”

Realization blossomed easily on Haruka’s face. “I remember him saying that he was… he was trying to fulfill his dad’s dream.”

“Yeah.” Sousuke nodded. “He blamed himself for his dad’s quitting.”

Haruka’s expression showed how much he understood that. “Being self-centered even in that,” he muttered. It was obvious he could see exactly how all of these happened. Rin was pushy with others, looked selfish from the outside, but he pushed himself hardest and he asked too much of himself. He was self-centered in a way, but it was more about him putting all the blame on himself, never on others. It wasn’t a destructive trait when they were young, but being left alone on a foreign land must have amplified it more than they could both imagine.

“But it wasn’t just about the Olympics either. He gave up something else. Auntie wasn’t his soulmate. On the day he gave his resignation letter to his coach, a younger swimmer was waiting on the office. That person was…”

“ _Oh_ ,” Haruka’s eyes were wide as his image of Rin’s motives became clearer. Rin wanted to meet his soulmate more than anyone they knew. Rin wanted to be happy with his soulmate, wanted the ‘happy ending’ his dad did not get.

“Yeah. The girl asked for a chance, but he said he had responsibilities to his family. He didn’t care about the bond.”

“And Rin thought that was his fault too?”

“He thought _he_ was the responsibility, maybe.” No one really understood Rin’s guilt-ridden brain. “All I know is, he thought once that having a soulmate would be the best feeling in the world.”

Haruka’s expression went back to confusion. “But he broke the bond.”

“Because _if you love someone, you set them free_. Right?” Sousuke wondered what kind of experiences Rin had in Australia; what kind of fucked up place was it for Rin’s whole dream to crumble like that. “He blames himself for the craziest things. I’m not sure what it was, but _something_ made him want to break the bond. And it most likely wasn’t you.”

Haruka nodded slowly, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he digested this information. “Okay.” He nodded, more resolutely. “I understand.”

“So, now, tell me everything.”

About an hour later, Sousuke got the whole story: from the funeral procession, to Rin’s transfer back in elementary, to the relay, and finally, to the race earlier. Haruka shared a concise view of it, highly impersonal and with just enough information to be helpful. There were tones every now and then though, changes in pitch, or small smiles, or little irritated scowls whenever he mentioned something Rin did. _“He just won’t stop talking,”_ Haruka had said, lips upturned just a tiny bit and eyes soft and fond.

For the first time, Sousuke saw first-hand that Rin was not the only one with feelings in this relationship. The huge crush thing? It seemed to have been, and remains to be, a two-way attraction.

It was hard not to cringe every time he thought about how close-minded and biased he’s been. He resolved to do his best here instead. His penance would be by helping Haruka figure things out.

“There’s very little information about two-way telepathy bonds,” Sousuke was quick to disclaim. “Even while researching about it for 5 years, it didn’t make everything clear. But I think I know what happened. Your race? Earlier, I mean. It sounded to me like it was similar to what happened back when Rin broke the bond. Didn’t it feel like that?”

Haruka’s eyes widened and he nodded. “It did.”

“Was it your idea to have a race?”

“It was my teammate’s. Rei said… he said it could go either way, that I had the final choice in it.” Haruka looked like he barely understood what this Rei had said.

“And your final choice was?”

Haruka looked down, expression closing off for the first time since this conversation started. “I’m not sure.”

He sounded _broken_. Sousuke couldn’t even push more, because he finally was getting why Makoto was so protective of this guy. No one deserved to be in this much pain.

“Think it through. You should rest. I’ll contact you when I know anything else.” He stood up, shouldering his bag. “Oh, and talk to that teammate about what happened. It sounds like he might know some things, too.”

Haruka just nodded and watched him go, not even making a move to walk him to the door. Sousuke locked the front door as he went out, hoping to god Rin was okay when he arrives at the hospital later.

**\- - -**

**[From:** Yamazaki

**To:** Tachibana

_Nanase is safe at home now. You should check up on him._ **]**

**[From:** Tachibana

**To:** Yamazaki

_You walked him home?!_

_Thank you. I’ll go to his house now. Any news I should know before I go there?_ **]**

**[From:** Yamazaki

**To:** Tachibana

_I feel like I should be offended by your reaction, but you’re right. Don’t ask him too much. He told me everything already. Making him say more might be tiring._ **]**

**[From:** Tachibana

**To:** Yamazaki

_I’m sorry. I know you’re a good person._

_I know how to talk to my best friend ;~; I was talking about Rin. Any news from his mom?_ **]**

**[From:** Yamazaki

**To:** Tachibana

_Don’t let Rin hear that._

_Yeah, smartass. I was just saying. Nanase talked a lot. He doesn’t look like a talker._

_Sounds like everything’s alright. They’re at the hospital for a checkup. Don’t worry about it. I’m going to the hospital now._ **]**

**[From:** Tachibana

**To:** Yamazaki

_Rin thinks you’re the best. He told me so._

_Thanks for the heads-up anyway. Haru must be tired. Keep me posted about Rin-chan!_ **]**

**\- - -**

_Makoto stared down at the hole on the ground, then at Rin on the side who was wrapping the tin box tightly in plastic. Inside of the said box was their trophy, the one they won yesterday from the relay. His lips curved up unconsciously at the thought._

_They won. They set a record, the four of them. It was better than anything he could have ever imagined._

_“We’re really going to bury it?” Nagisa scrunched up his nose cutely, peering down the hole. “But that’s such a waste!”_

_“It’s not a waste,” Rin argued. “We all won it together so it’s better to have it hidden here where we all know. We can dig it up a few years from now. Isn’t that romantic?” He grinned at the three of them, eyes shining with pure joy. He’s been much more happy after the relay, like he grew wings and now can fly. It’s a special experience, being near Rin right now. (It’s a limited experience too, though, since he’s going to Australia tomorrow.)_

_Makoto looked at his side to see Nagisa laughing into his hands while saying “Rinrin is so corny”. And then he saw Haruka, who would have usually looked away by now or said something like “no, it’s not”, but instead was staring right at Rin with wide eyes filled with something even Makoto could not name._

_The relay changed something in all of them._

_Haruka smiled and looked down at the tin box. Rin blushed, turning bashful all of a sudden. Nagisa’s expression was positively blinding as he watched the two. Makoto knew exactly how it felt, being given the chance to be part of this moment._

_The relay opened up something beautiful, and Makoto would always remember this day._

_“When are we going to dig it up?” he asked. There was nothing but hope inside his chest._

_“I’ll come back,” Rin said decisively, dropping the box down into the hole finally. “We’ll swim the relay again and then we’ll dig this up.” He looked at them, a breathtaking smile on his face. “This place would always connect us together.”_

**\- - -**

Gou heard everything from Nagisa yesterday. He said “I need your help” after telling her everything; about the bond, about the break, about her mom’s visit. He said “let’s help Rin-chan” after telling her about Haruka having a hard time sleeping every night. He said “no more factions” after asking her if she remembered how happy Rin was after the relay 5 years ago.

Nagisa was unfair, she’s always known that. But right that moment, with his earnest eyes and well-crafted pleading, she knew exactly why she agreed to be this boy’s partner-in-crime.

That’s why, even though she will always choose her brother’s side, she still kept quiet and let the plan happen. There wasn’t any factions anymore. Just a group of friends hoping to make everything better, to fix the one thing that has been separating them from day one.

When she got the text about Rin’s blackout, she was still with Nagisa and Rei in the family restaurant. She was ready for it, has been warned enough times to know that Rin _might_ experience this. “It’s here,” she said. She placed the phone on the table and pushed it towards the two. “Mom’s going to check him in with our family physician. I don’t think she’ll let him go home tonight.” She watched as they read through it. Nagisa looked pained. Rei looked guilty.

“This isn’t your fault,” she said softly, leaning forward and slapping a hand on their arms one at a time. “We all knew this might happen. We _all_ agreed it was needed.”

Nagisa frowned and nodded. “I just really, really hoped it wouldn’t happen.”

“If nothing changed, my brother and Haruka-senpai wouldn’t be able to move forward,” she reminded him.

“I know.” Nagisa placed his head down on the table in a gesture of defeat. “But I don’t want Rin-chan being in pain.”

“We all don’t want that,” Gou sighed out. “Do you want to visit?”

Nagisa looked up, propping his chin on the table. “Can I?”

“Of course, you can.” Gou offered him a small smile before looking over at Rei who was still quietly staring at the phone. “How about you, Rei-kun?”

Rei blinked in surprise, seemingly waking up from his daze. “Oh, I-” He pushed his glasses up and said seriously, “I was hoping you could let me meet Rin-senpai’s bestfriend, the one who told your mom…?”

Gou had an inkling of why Rei would want this, so instead of asking, she just nodded. “I can give you his number. His name is Sousuke Yamazaki.”

Rei smiled. “Thanks! It would be a great help.”

They separated ways after that, Gou and Nagisa riding a train to the hospital while Rei walked home. The ride there was filled with mindless chatter, conversations about their classmates and TV shows and Nagisa’s sisters, anything to distract them from what they were about to see. Gou knew that this was going to be difficult with the two of them. Rin was her big brother, and, in a way, Nagisa’s as well. Seeing someone you treasure in a hospital bed was always difficult.

“Ready?” Nagisa smiled at her, took her hand and squeezed it as they walked towards the entrance of the large hospital. He was trying to act strong.

She did the same. She smiled and squeezed back. “Yeah, let’s go.”

They weren’t even able to get inside the room before they heard the voices from the slightly ajar door. Gou put a hand on Nagisa’s arm, making him stop. Her brother was awake, and from the sound of it, crying.

“I don’t really understand it, all of this,” Rin said, laughing a broken hollow sound. “But if the nightmares were real memories, then… Then I’ll accept their offer. It’s better like that, right?”

Keiko was quiet for a few seconds before she said, “Yeah, it will make it easier for both of you if you transfer now rather than later.”

“I don’t care about me. If he’s hurting, there’s really no other choice to make.”

Nagisa had his hands on the doorknob but Gou pulled him away, dragging him away from the room. She only stopped when they were far away enough that they won’t be seen by her mom. “Gou-chan!” He looked betrayed. “We need to stop him!”

“It’s not that simple, right?” Gou argued. “This isn’t our call to make. It’s Haruka-senpai’s and my brother’s.”

His shoulder slumped. “But I thought Haru-chan would… I was so _sure_ he’ll…”

“Didn’t you hear what my brother said? He said _if the nightmares were real memories._ ”

It took him a few moments before he looked up in understanding. “Oh,” he gasped. “That means! It means he saw? Rei-chan’s plan succeeded?”

She shrugged, not really sure what it meant yet. She’d have to ask Rin about what he feels or what he remembers, and she’d have to ask Rei about what was really supposed to happen. There were still things unknown, but she was at least certain that things were moving, and if anything, they needed to be smart now rather than panic.

“Leave the questioning to me for now. I’ll send you a picture of how he looks, I promise.”

Expression turning a little bit brighter, he nodded. He looked excited.

She understood the feeling. What happened in Australia and what happened when the bond broke wasn’t something they knew or could do anything about. This time, though? They had a chance to help. Rin and Haruka suffered alone before, but they had the support of everyone now. There were lots of people who loved them both, who would do anything to make sure they won’t get hurt like that again.

“I should call Aki-chan about the swimming practice, shouldn’t I?” Nagisa took out his phone and fiddled with it. “Maybe… maybe it isn’t too late to swim the relay?”

**\- - -**

“Seriously?”

Aki stared at her captain with a completely determined expression, not backing down in the slightest. “Yes. Chiyo-senpai, seriously.”

“You know I understand where you’re coming from,” Chiyo sighed, frowning. “But next week is too soon. We’ve got our own competitions to worry about.”

“But we’ve got the day off this Monday, right? We can let them borrow our pool,” Aki insisted. She wanted to do this no matter what. She wanted to see Haruka swim again and smile like how he did back then. She wanted to see Rin again, to see just how fast he became after training abroad. She wanted to see Makoto and Nagisa back in the water. “Please, captain. I’ll take responsibility.”

“You say you’re going to do a relay practice? And some students from Samezuka are joining too?” Chiyo raised an eyebrow in disbelief. It was understandable, because this wasn’t a situation that happens often. They didn’t exactly write up permission slips as school rules dictated. This was more spur of the moment than anything.

“Me and a few members of the Samezuka club,” she said, leaving out the part where one was not even in High School yet. Chiyo didn’t need to know that.

Chiyo narrowed her eyes. “You’re really working hard for these _friends_ of yours.”

Aki laughed, shaking her head and denying the implied question. “Captain, you do know Haruka-kun and the others _still_ hold the record for the fastest relay time in the elementary division, right?”

“And it’s been 5 years since then,” Chiyo replied lightly.

“It’s different when you’re there, I promise. It’s the kind of thing you need to experience!” Aki could still remember the feeling she got when she saw them swim. She was holding her breath. _Everyone_ was holding their breaths. The whole stadium felt the tension in the air, and when Haruka finished first, way above everyone, there was a collective release.

It didn’t feel like just one race. It felt like something was happening there, something bigger, something inspiring.

Nitori had said the same thing, didn’t he? He started swimming because of seeing that race. Aki, on the other hand, started _dreaming_ after seeing that race. It was just that powerful. It was an inspiration to everyone who saw.

“You make it sound like a religious experience,” Chiyo said with a laugh. “Okay, then. I’ll tell coach. We’re on a break anyway and branching out to other teams is always good. Is Captain Mikoshiba coming?”

Aki blinked, not really sure. Momo and Nitori had been excited about joining in. Sousuke would surely come. The four of them formed a relay team already. She wasn’t sure why anyone else would come. “I don't think so.”

Chiyo nodded, content with that answer. “Tell me how it goes after the race.”

“I will!”

**\- - -**

**[To:** Yamazaki-kun, Makoto-kun, Nagisa-kun

**From:** Yazaki

_Captain and Coach said it’s fine to use the pool this Monday. Is that alright?_ **]**

**[To:** Yazaki

**From:** Nagisa-kun

_That’s great! Thank you, Aki-chan!!! \o/_ **]**

**[To:** Yazaki

**From:** Yamazaki-kun

_It’s fine. Thank you. Nitori and Momotarou agreed as well. This is a big help._ **]**

**[To:** Yazaki

**From:** Makoto-kun

_Thank you very much, Aki-chan. I know it must have been hard to convince your captain on such short notice :( We’ll make sure to pay you back!_ **]**

**[To:** Makoto-kun

**From:** Yazaki

_No need to pay back! Just give me a good race :) This is what friends are for, Makoto-kun!_ **]**

**[To:** Yamazaki-kun

**From:** Yazaki

_btw if you made Makoto-kun sad in any way, you have to fix it because he’s too nice and making him sad is like kicking a small homeless puppy >:(_ **]**

**[To:** Yazaki

**From:** Yamazaki-kun

_I know -_-” Don’t worry about it._ **]**

**\- - -**

As soon as Nagisa heard the footsteps, he rushed outside the club room to wait for the other members. And when they came into view, he fell dramatically, throwing his weight towards Makoto who caught him easily. “They… they _met_.”

Makoto blinked in confusion, staring down at the boneless mess in his arms. “Who met?”

“Rei-chan and Sou-chan,” Nagisa explained, burying his head on Makoto’s chest and moaning as if in pain. “ _Make them stop_.”

Gou pushed Nagisa off of Makoto and placed her arm across his shoulders, dragging him to stand up properly. “Why the theatrics?” She quirked an eyebrow at him in question, not even batting an eye. “Is Sousuke-kun inside?”

Nagisa shook his head, grimacing. “Rei-chan is on the phone with him,” he said. “Gou-chan, it was a _mistake_ to let them talk.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Yeah!” Nagisa pouted. “My head hurts! Rei-chan wants to tell me _everything_.”

She nodded understandingly, patting him on the back. “I knew this would happen,” she said, sighing. “It was a mistake we had to risk.”

Makoto was just gaping at the side in confusion, obviously unsure of what they were talking about. “Um, what happened…?” He stepped closer slowly like he was approaching a wild animal.

“ _Nerds_ ,” the two synchronized, with matching scrunched up expressions.

“Nerds?” Makoto looked even more confused.

Haruka, who looked just about done with all of them, sighed and went forward to open the door. Without waiting for them, he walked in to approach Rei. He looked normal, but they all knew he was more nervous than all of them combined. Nagisa was hoping his little over dramatic outburst would at least make him smile, but it seems Haruka was too tense for that.

“They’re talking about the soul bond theories they’ve read. I think they figured something out,” Nagisa explained as they followed after Haruka. Gou gave him a ‘well, you tried’ shrug and bumped her shoulder with his. He smiled back before sitting beside Rei on the bench by the side of the window, his back pointedly facing his soulmate. “Rei-chan, explain it in the simplest way you can.”

Rei was obviously pouting when he spoke; Nagisa was sure even though he couldn’t see it in his position. “I heard all about the situation from Yamazaki-san!” He stood up to be eye-level with Haruka. “I just finished talking to him, in fact. What happened was very interesting and not even close to what we were expecting. We hoped to recreate some precious moments during your swim club days when we planned the race, but instead it produced a result that is frankly astounding.”

Nagisa kicked the back of his leg lightly and groaned, “Rei-chan~ Get to the point!”

“It recreated the exact moment the bond was broken,” Rei said with a flourish, waving his hands around in excitement. “Out of all his memories, this was the one that was most hidden, the deepest one in the pile of forgotten memories.”

“Isn’t that bad, though?” Makoto fretted. “Wouldn’t that have hurt bad for Rin?”

Nagisa saw the moment Rei stepped back, and the little frown that adorned his face. “Yes, it must have,” he answered, softer now. The excitement from the discovery tapered off into guilt. “I’m sorry for making you do that, Haruka-senpai. It was an untested theory and I know it must have hurt you as well. I didn’t factor in your feelings at all.” The plan Rei talked about before was simply for Haruka to swim with Rin one-on-one, to have a race just like old times. They didn’t think about the fact that Haruka needed closure as well, that he was hoping for all of this to end.

“It isn’t your fault,” Haruka said, echoing Rei’s words from a few days ago. “You wanted to help.”

Rei smiled a bit, seemingly touched by the sentiment. “It did some good though,” he continued. “Yamazaki-kun said that it happened almost exactly the way it did before, but opposite?”

Haruka nodded in affirmation.

“It was like he was experiencing the moment again, but from Haruka-senpai’s eyes. During that time 4 years ago, you were still connected. It was the last moment you were connected by the bond completely.” Rei raised one hand, palm up. “This was the memory from five years ago.” He then raised his other hand, this time palm facing down. “And this was the race a few days ago. The situations are identical in nature but they are from different perspectives, so…” He moved his hands inwards, making them bump in the middle. “The memories battle inside his head. This discord causes his buried memories to resurface, even though the bond is still not reforged.”

“Is it hurting Rin?” was all Haruka asked. It was clear that his first priority now was to make sure the pain would stop for Rin. The guilt of inadvertently making Rin suffer was still eating at him even then.

Rei dropped his hands and answered sadly, “There’s a high probability that it’s causing him some pain. But… I think this was something we had to do. With his memories being slightly clearer, there’s a chance to talk to him and ask him properly.”

Nagisa nodded and stood up, facing Haruka as well. “We’ve got to use this chance!” He and Gou hasn’t told anyone about what Rin said in the hospital, afraid that it might weaken Haruka’s resolve. They both knew the two wanted to protect each other, and it was just stupid that they were trying so hard to protect the other from _themselves_. “We’re gonna do the relay!”

Haruka still looked unsure, his frown showing discontent in the situation. “There’s something else… The decision you told me about.”

Rei pursed his lips, a look of understanding appearing on his face. “Yes,” he said. “In the end, it’s your own choice whether to break it or not. The fact that you’ve been able to hold on the last four years is an admirable feat, and it shows how strong your will is, senpai.”

There was that unanswered question hanging in the air of whether or not Haruka _tried_ to break off the bond completely. Asking Rin for one last race was a precursor to breaking the bond in their eyes. But Haruka wanted Rin to _stay_ , unlike what Rin’s mom wanted. Haruka was the one who wanted to sacrifice his position just so Rin could be with their friends.

God, Nagisa has the world’s most self-sacrificing friends in the entire world.

“Haru-chan,” he called out, looking Haruka in the eye. “I need to know. Do you _really_ want to break the bond?”

Haruka’s frown deepened even as he kept Nagisa’s gaze. He didn’t answer, though.

Nagisa knew it was a hard decision, and he couldn’t even imagine the pain that Haruka was feeling or the guilt that the partial break entailed. He didn’t understand any of it. His brain hurt just trying to factor all of those in. What he did know, however, was that Rin used to look at Haruka as if he was Rin’s world, and Haruka did the same with him.

What he knew was that he learned the meaning of falling in love by watching those two.

“Wait,” Makoto raised a hand, stepping in between Nagisa and Haruka and smiling that kind smile of his. “Can I borrow Haru for now?”

Nagisa blinked slowly, then nodded in confusion. “Sure…?”

Just like that, Makoto pulled Haruka out of the room, leaving the three behind.

As they waited, Rei went back to typing on his phone, presumably to talk to Sousuke again. Gou slumped down on the chair, leaning her head on the window and closing her eyes. Everything must be stressful for her as well. Knowing Rin was in pain was never a good thing, no matter how helpful it was for the grand scheme of things. Nagisa sat beside her, leaning close to offer comfort.

“Nagisa-kun,” Rei called out from where he was pacing in front of them. He pointed towards his eyes, making Nagisa look at him properly. Then, he thought, **Yamazaki-kun is saying Rin is forbidden from stressful conversations so it seems there is nothing there as well. But he said he needed to confirm something. Has Rin-senpai kissed Haruka-senpai?** His cheeks turned red as images of Rin and Haruka kissing passed through his mind for a brief moment.

It almost made Nagisa laugh, seeing him embarrassed like that. “Yes,” he answered. “After the relay, in front of everyone.” The thought made him smile. That kind of memory was strong enough to lighten his mood despite all that was happening.

Gou opened one eye, peeking at them. “Are you talking about the kiss?”

Rei was stock still in surprise, gaping at the two of them. “In front of _everyone_?!”

“A whole stadium full of people. I was there!” Gou laughed softly, nostalgia coloring her tone. “Mom couldn’t watch that time so it’s not as embarrassing as it could have been, but still. Everyone who was watching saw.”

“He did it right in front of me,” Nagisa said, voice pitched like he was sharing a juicy secret. Then, in a warmer tone, he added, “Rin-chan was so happy…”

Rei went back to his phone, but this time he went straight to dialing Sousuke’s number. “Hello?” His voice was panicked, his other hand tapping on his leg nervously. “Yes, yes, they did… Yes! I didn’t know! This isn’t… Yes, they’re _impossible_.” He sighed, moving over to Nagisa’s side to sit on the bench. “I think it’s extremely probable that it happened… Yamazaki-san, half the postulates about soul bonds are untested because of the scarcity of subjects, not the implausible concepts.” He fell silent, listening to the other line intently. “I _have_ a soulmate, but it’s not that easy!” Another moment of silence. “I understand. I’ll talk to Haruka-senpai.” He hung his head down as he ended the call.

“What was that about?” Gou asked, eyeing Rei suspiciously.

Curious as well, Nagisa pulled at Rei’s shoulder so they were facing each other. “Rei-chan…?” He looked at his eyes, and Rei, letting out a resigned sigh, looked right back.

**Fairytales have real life basis, in that the magical counterparts are often related to real events. For example, most princes found their princess by looking them in the eye and knowing instinctively that there is love to be found there. In the same way, True Love’s Kiss is just a fancier way of saying that a kiss with real intent reinforces bonds that people have. They didn’t just have a two-way telepathy soul bond at the age of _twelve_ , they also had a _reinforced_ one.**

Rei moaned and looked down, grunting “They were _twelve_.”

Nagisa’s head was swimming with the information, but he knew Gou wanted to know as well. “The kiss reinforced their bond,” he explained. “Like True Love’s Kiss in Snow White.”

“Is that good or bad?” Gou went straight to the point, looking over at Rei. “Would that help us or not?”

“It’s not really proven yet,” Rei explained, sulky like he thought life was being completely unfair with him by throwing him this. It was adorable. “It’s just a _postulate_. Nothing that-”

Nagisa didn’t even let him finish, pulling his tie and leaning forward at the same time to smack a kiss right at his lips. The moment their lips met, Nagisa knew _exactly_ what Rei meant. It wasn’t anything big, not a life-shattering explosion like in the movies. There was just a shift, like that moment right after you take the first bite of a new flavor of cake, that _‘ah, this is it’_ feeling.

When he let go, Nagisa had a huge smug grin on his face.

On the contrary, Rei’s whole face was red and he pushed at Nagisa’s hand while shaking his head repeatedly. “That doesn’t count,” he argued. “That was you trying to prove a point! Not beautiful at all!”

“Hmmm…” Nagisa rubbed his chin, tilting his head. “You didn’t feel it?”

Rei froze in his frantic denial. “This doesn’t make sense! There should be right intent in the kiss! Not this-!”

Nagisa didn’t really know what that meant. Rei made soul bonds sound all serious with their hypothesis and subjects and postulates, but Nagisa only knew what he experienced. The point wasn’t what everyone else in the world felt, after all. It was what the two of them felt. “If intent meant liking Rei-chan, then I have a lot of it,” he said, matter-of-factly. It was really simple. “I wanted to kiss Rei-chan, so I did.” Besides, Rei looked so _cute_. That was probably what Rin thought, anyway, when he kissed Haruka right in front of everyone.

Covering his face in embarrassment, Rei muttered, “You take after Rin-senpai, don’t you?”

“I _did_ learn a lot from Rin-chan,” Nagisa answered easily, moving forward to snatch Rei’s phone from his pocket. “Now, to tell Sou-chan…”

**\- - -**

Haruka followed Makoto quietly to the side of the pool, knowing from Makoto’s posture that this was something serious. They were both bad at talking about serious things, always letting it be unsaid and just focusing on the little gestures they do. Talking was a pain. So this in itself was a serious moment.

Everything has been escalating so badly lately that it was just a matter of time, anyway.

“Haru,” Makoto said, stopping in front of him with a determined expression. “Isn’t it about time you stop lying to yourself?”

“I’m not-”

“You _are_ ,” he insisted. “You knew from the start what you wanted to do, didn’t you? I didn’t push you to do anything, because I know you’ll do things according to your own pace, but Haru… You need to choose yourself now.”

That did not make any sense to Haruka. Wasn’t the whole point of the partial break that _he_ was the one being selfish and choosing himself over Rin? He didn’t need to choose himself now. What he needed to do was let Rin go. What he needed to do was set him free, like what Rin did years ago.

“Now you’re thinking of what Rin-chan did, right?” Makoto knew exactly what he was going on in his mind, of course. “Are you really considering doing the same? It hurt you _both_. Something went wrong! We all know that! You can’t go on and repeat the same mistakes Rin did. Why can’t you just accept that you need to _talk_?”

Talking was a pain. Talking would _bring_ pain. Haruka was afraid of what Rin would tell him, of the thoughts in his head he didn’t want Haruka to hear. It made him think of the most painful first meeting they had back then, the funeral procession where Rin thought that he shouldn’t have been alive, that he caused his dad’s death for some twisted reasoning.

“I know,” Haruka started, steeling himself for this conversation. Makoto meant well, has always chosen to help Haruka over everything. Makoto _shouting_ meant he was frustrated as much as he is. He cared so much and it was hurting him how the situation was unfolding. “I know we should talk. I _know_. But it’s- I’m _fine_. Rin isn’t. Rin _needs_ help. You all need to help Rin.”

Makoto groaned in distress, stepping forward as if being closer would make his point reach across faster. “This is what I’m talking about,” he gritted out, not angry but with way more annoyance than Haruka has ever seen in him. “ _You’re_ hurting, Haru. _You_ need help. Rin needs it, too. We won’t abandon one of you. We’ll help you _both_. Please, just accept that.”

Haruka stared at him, at his best friend of too many years shaking in frustration in front of him. Somehow, he’s forgotten how big Makoto was, how looming his presence could be when he really wanted to exert himself. It’s been a long time since Makoto fought for something this hard.

“I’m sorry,” Haruka said, in response. He didn’t know exactly what he was saying sorry for, if it was his past actions or his inability to change his mindset until now.

Makoto stared at him for a beat before sighing in defeat. “Please think about it,” he said, then walked out.

Haruka has been standing there for a while, just staring in a daze at the space Makoto vacated, when Rei walked in with his bag. Nagisa and Gou were nowhere to be seen. It was just Rei, looking tentative as he walked forward to take the place in front of Haruka. He offered the bag like it was a gift, an offering of some sorts.

“The others went ahead already,” he said. “Is it okay if I walk with you home?”

Nodding, Haruka took the bag and walked forward. Rei stepped at his side, matching his stride as they walked out of their pool area. It was quiet for a while, but Haruka knew there was reason for this. Rei was still too shy to ask something like this without cause.

“Nagisa-kun kissed me today,” he said, out of the blue and with a resolved sort of expression that was not suited for the confession. Casually, he added, “And I heard from him, about Rin-senpai kissing you back when you were in the relay.”

“He did.” Haruka felt like those were just a dream now, a distant memory of something that will not matter anymore. Not when everything was this messed up.

“In front of _everyone_!” Rei exclaimed in a scandalized tone. He seemed to have taken Haruka’s affirmation as permission to continue. “A soul bonded kiss in front of everyone! When you were _twelve_!” He sighed. There was awe in his expression despite the affront. “Haruka-senpai, how did it feel?”

Haruka stopped in his tracks, staring in surprise at Rei’s back. The younger boy looked like he was embarrassed for the question, but didn’t want to back down either. “How…?”

“Yes,” Rei said, still with his back on Haruka. His ears were red. “How did it feel?”

Rei was forcing himself to ask this question despite his discomfort. For a moment, Haruka thought of the expression on Rei’s face after Rin’s mom left his house: the anger _for_ Haruka’s sake. Haruka wondered if this was what Makoto meant by accepting their help.

“It was… different,” Haruka started. “Our bond was strong even before. He- he thought in colors sometimes, or in sounds, or in textures. Being in his head was overwhelming.”

They started walking again, Rei watching him with undivided attention, eyes full of wonder.

“But after the- after _that_ , everything felt even more clearer. The colors came in shades I didn’t even know existed, his voice was louder in my head, his… his smile was always there in the back of my mind.”

Rei nodded slowly, eyes moving towards the road. “Then I think Yamazaki-kun is right,” he said. “That the kiss strengthened your bond like how it seemed to have made mine.”

Haruka knew something happened there, but like how he never wondered why the nightmares were happening, he didn’t read into the change much. A strengthened bond sounded right. “What does that mean?”

“It means that at twelve years old, at an age you weren’t considered able to do huge life decisions, you had a two-way telepathy _and_ a stronger bond than most people. The _strongest_ kind, even.” Rei glanced at Haruka with a serious expression. “I can’t imagine the stress that brought the two of you when he left. It sounds like...” He took a deep breath. “It sounds like something that would make someone want to break the bond.”

Was Rin stressed because of the bond? Haruka remembered wanting to see Rin, about dreaming of Rin in Australia, in that one year that they were apart with their bond intact. They weren’t bad dreams, not like the ones that came after. Was it different for Rin?

“Was I hurting him more? I wasn’t...”

“You were both just _children_ , Haruka-senpai. That wasn’t a decision you could easily make. You kept the bond safe. You held on despite getting hurt as well. _That_ means something, doesn’t it?” Rei stopped and faced him, sincerity oozing out of his whole stance. “You’re still young, but you know better now, don’t you? Isn’t there something you could do now?” With a smiled, he added, “Isn’t there something you want to do now?”

**\- - -**

Rin was told to rest in bed again for some days, after which he would be turning in his letter of transfer to Iwatobi. He was not allowed to talk to anyone or even say goodbye. After everything that happened, he knew this was the best course of action. He hurt Haruka enough. Moving away and giving him space would lessen the pain. Haruka did not deserve any of this. It wasn’t his choice to be Rin’s soulmate, he’s made that clear before.

His memories were still fuzzy when it came to those days. There were bits and pieces that he knew now were real, and conversations that were apparently spoken through their minds.

Nothing really cleared up, except for one thing. He knew _exactly_ why he broke the bond. He could remember feeling the intense need to go home, the bond making it even more pronounced. He had dreams of Haruka in Iwatobi, of him having fun swimming with the others. He saw Haruka in his mind, and he thought of _joy_.

But he also thought of _jealousy_. He thought of how happy Haruka was without him, and how messed up Haruka would be when he hears how bad Rin was faring on his own.

Haruka was happy without him. Haruka would be fine without him.

Rin was a huge baggage that Haruka did not ask for, so Rin was going to disentangle himself and let Haruka live his life the way he’s always wanted to.

Having nothing to do in the house after being discharged from the hospital, Rin had claimed the couch in the living room as his own. His mom was happier that way, being able to see him at all times to check on him. Rin thought it was a perfect place, with easy access to the kitchen and the television.

The problem was, he could also hear the people at the door when it opens. Yesterday, he heard Nagisa say goodbye to Gou listlessly. He heard the sadness in Gou’s voice when he said he’ll let Nagisa know how Rin was doing. Two days ago, it was Sousuke on the door asking to be let in, only to be asked to leave by his mom.

And now… Now, Haruka was at the door.

On a Monday holiday, at eight o’clock in the morning, Haruka was at their door.

“He’s going to transfer out of Iwatobi,” his mom explained, voice edged with impatience. “Until you make up your mind, I’m keeping him away from all of you. My son doesn’t need this.”

When Haruka spoke, it was calm and collected. He was being respectful. “I’ve made up my mind,” he answered seriously. “I need to talk to him.”

“So you’re going to break the bond now?” There was relief in his mother’s voice.

Rin stood up and could not help but walk towards their voices. He needed to see Haruka’s face when he says that he was done with Rin, that he was going to let go.

What he saw, however, was Haruka bowing down low in front of his mom. “I’m sorry, ma’am,” he said. Still serious. Still sure of everything he was saying. “But I can’t do that. Not until I’ve talked to him properly.”

“He wants you to break the bond! He _did it_ -”

“Mom,” Rin interjected, stepping forward and shaking his head at her when she looked at him. “He’s right. We need to talk.”

Haruka looked up and his eyes roamed Rin’s body, as if checking if he was really standing there. “Get your bag. We have a joint practice to attend.”

“You can’t-”

“What?” Rin raised an eyebrow at him, confused by the request. “You want me to attend the joint practice?” _After all of this?_

“Yes,” Haruka said, stubborn in that way Rin remembered so well. “You’re a member of the club, aren’t you? You promised.”

Something in those words clicked in his head. _You promised_ , Haruka said. It had weight to it, like there were more promises than Rin remembered.

His mother was indignant and would most likely stop him, so he hugged her and said, “I’ll be fine. I’ll be right back.”

**\- - -**

_Haruka stood in front of the tree marking the place where they buried their trophy. A few hours from now, Rin was going to Australia. Rin was going far away and leaving them for a few years. He was only allowed to go home a few times to visit his family. It was going to be a quiet year without Rin pushing and pulling Haruka in fifty different directions._

_“Hey,” Rin called out, leaning by the fence on the side. The sun was setting and Makoto and Nagisa has gone home, but Rin probably stayed to walk home one last time with Haruka. He didn’t need to look Rin in the eye to know that. Haruka wanted to walk home with him, too. “It’s gonna be fine,” he said. “I’ll come back. I promise.”_

_Haruka sighed and nodded, going over to his side so they could start their walk home. “Australia is across the ocean.”_

_“Yeah, you can’t swim that distance,” Rin said, chuckling. “It would have been good if I could.”_

_“You can try,” Haruka said, shrugging._

_“I’ll drown!” Rin exclaimed, slapping a hand on Haruka’s shoulder. “It’s fine. I’ll be back before you know it.” He stopped then, prodding Haruka so they’d face each other._

_Knowing the drill by now, Haruka just rolled his eyes before looking him in the eye. Rin needed to have his cheesy moment again._

**_It’s not cheesy!_ **

**_It is._ **

_**Whatever, Haru. It’s easier this way. Hmmm.** Images of the sea filled Haruka’s head, alongside the sound of waves and the smell of salt in the air. I **’ll be fine. You’re gonna be fine too, because you’re you. We’re gonna get through this.**_

_**I’m not worried.** Haruka honestly wasn’t. After everything, after letting himself accept all of Rin, he trusted his soulmate enough for this. They were going to get through this._

_**Together** , Rin insisted, grinning. His mind felt warm and comfortable, like a familiar blanket. **We’re gonna get through this together.**_

**\- - -**

Everyone was gathered in Sera Academy’s indoor pool by the time Makoto arrived. The only ones missing was Haruka and Rin, which was understandable since they were the focus of today. They had to talk things out by themselves first before going here. Makoto and the others were willing to wait as long as it takes.

Makoto walked over to Nagisa who was sitting on the floor with Gou. “Good morning,” he greeted. “Haru went to your house to fetch Rin,” he added, smiling at Gou.

She smiled back, excitement clear in her expression. “ _Finally_ ,” she sighed.

He nodded in agreement. They all felt like this was too long. The misunderstandings came in multitude, and it was hard trying to straighten all of it out. It didn’t help that Rin and Haruka were just _really_ bad at communicating. Perhaps that was why they had two-way telepathy? The world worked together to give them a chance at something beautiful, as Rei would say.

Speaking of Rei… “Why isn’t Rei with you?” He asked.

Nagisa groaned, bumping the back of his head on the wall. “Sou-chan snatched him away!” He pouted. “And Rei-chan said I need to think about my actions before doing them so he won’t let me kiss him again! It’s unfair!”

Makoto blinked. “What?”

“It’s a long story,” Gou said, laughing. “You should go to them. Sousuke-kun was searching for you.”

“Bring Rei-chan back to me!” Nagisa added, pushing Makoto’s leg with his feet. “Don’t let Sou-chan take my Rei-chan!”

Makoto laughed at that, striding towards where they pointed him. He was glad the two were still in this mood, despite the delicate situation. Makoto was worried enough on his own for all of them, really. It was helpful that the others were looking at the bright side so effortlessly.

Nagisa must be excited about the relay, Makoto thought. Through his nervousness, there was that feeling too. He was looking forward to it so badly. There were only a few moments in his life that could even come close to the happiness he had back then. Experiencing it for a second time would be a wonderful present.

“Makoto-senpai,” Rei called out from where he was sitting on a bench by the side of the pool. “Here!”

Now that Makoto looked at his surroundings, he could see that this was bigger than Samezuka’s indoor pool. There was a distinct feel of _‘this is for rich young women’_ in their school that you wouldn’t notice if you’re just looking at approachable Aki.

He walked over to Rei and greeted, “Good morning. Nagisa said he’s sorry so please come back to him.” Rei sighed and stood up to presumably go back to Nagisa’s side.

Makoto looked at the side then, noticing Sousuke for the first time. He looked at him and- and stopped. “Uh,” he stuttered, eyes widening as their eyes met. There was that feeling again, the one he got from that one time they did a video chat. “Good morning,” he said through the lump on his throat.

Sousuke smiled at him, easy and real this time compared to the forced expression he had the last time they met. They were angry at each other back then, refusing to look at each other and simply leaving the other in favor of guarding their respective best friends. “Good morning,” he greeted back, keeping eye contact.

Makoto nodded, unable to say anything else.

Sousuke moved to the side and offered a space on the bench for him. “Rin just told me he’s coming here,” he shared, expression softening. There was a tinge of sadness there that Makoto wanted to ask about, but he kept quiet. “He said Nanase was kidnapping him.” There was humor in his voice that didn’t reach his eyes. “I guess it all comes down to the two of them, huh?”

“Yeah,” he agreed, forcing himself to focus at the words and not at the little quirks he kept on noticing. He sat down on the bench and looked down on the floor. “We did all we can do.”

Sousuke looked at the pool, silence stretching between them. Then, softly, he said, “Thank you for your help.”

Makoto smiled wryly, looking up at him despite not wanting to. “Even though this isn’t what you wanted?”

“As long as Rin is happy, I am too,” he answered, shrugging. His expression was fond, or rather even more so. There was affection there that suddenly cleared a lot of things up. The protectiveness, the stubbornness, the utter devotion, the denial about soul bonds… they all made sense then. “That’s all I really wanted.”

Makoto watched him for a moment, eyes wide. The melancholy and regret from his expression was overwhelming. There were _what-ifs_ he probably would stubbornly hold on to. With a woeful sigh, he replied, “Me, too.”

**\- - -**

The cherry blossom tree still looked alive in the middle of the small garden by the side of their swim club. In Haruka’s mind, he could still see the image of the three of them digging below it as Rin covered a tin box in plastic and tape. This was an important place. It was befitting this kind of talk, he thought. As Rin would say, this was the right spot to talk about their feelings. The romantic place.

“You remember, right?” Haruka asked, stopping in front of the tree and facing Rin. “About what happened?”

Rin nodded, a small aborted movement that wasn’t like him at all. There was so much uncertainty in his posture, it looked bizarre and out of place.

“Then you remember why you tried to break the bond?”

Truthfully, he still did not want to hear this. He was still scared. But the need to know was bigger now. Sousuke had said Rin blamed himself for the craziest of things. Sousuke had said it wasn’t Haruka’s fault.

“Because…” Rin’s voice was small and quiet. “Because I needed to.”

“That’s not an answer.”

Rin looked up then, eyes showing defiance even as he shook lightly. “You didn’t need me,” he said, voice getting louder now. “You were alright on your own and I didn’t want to ruin your life like how I did mine.” He took a deep breath and shuddered. “I did it because you were _beautiful_ and I was going to fuck everything up again. I did it because I didn’t want to _destroy_ you.”

Haruka should have expected that answer, but it still felt like a punch in the gut. He felt the anger in him fire up as he stepped closer. “That wasn’t your decision to make,” he said, quiet but full of intensity. “It wasn’t just yours to break. For five years, you took the choice away from my hands and it wasn’t yours to take. It was mine.”

“You were better off without me, okay? Trust me, you wouldn’t have wanted my messed up thoughts in your head.” He laughed, self-deprecating and flat.

Haruka couldn’t help it then, couldn’t stop his hands from shooting forward and grabbing at Rin’s arms. He shook Rin, grip tight on either side of him. “I _trusted_ you. I _did_.” He stared into his eyes, and let the echoing nothingness fuel him further. “You promised me, you promised _us_ that you were going to come back. You _said_ this place would  _always connect us._  You promised we were going to get through this _together_.

“You promised and I held on to that.” His grip tightened, voice harsher as he continued. “I don’t know what happened, but I _want to know_. Because you _promised_ we were going to do this together.

"I could have been miserable then, but if I did, it would have been _my_ choice. It would have been because I chose to stay. _You_ gave up on me, Rin.

“ _You_ didn’t trust _me_.”

**\- - -**

Rin’s eyes widened, speechless in the onslaught of emotions that came at him in waves. This was Haruka’s true feelings. He did not hate Rin, not even after everything he’s done. Instead, he was just angry. Angry that Rin forgot, that Rin did not trust him enough to let him choose what he’ll do.

He felt stripped off of all his defenses with Haruka’s eyes on him like that. With Haruka’s hands clutching him and not letting him run, he was forced to think about his decisions. He was forced to remember that Haruka was not some weak person who would just say yes at something he proposed. No, Haruka was his equal. Haruka was the person who pushed just as hard Rin did. Haruka was as strong as he was beautiful.

Rin looked down in humiliation as he felt tears prickle down his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. There was nothing else he could say. “I was so _alone_. I didn’t want you to see that. You were so happy… You shouldn’t be burdened by me. I’m not your responsibility.”

“You are,” Haruka objected, bringing him in closer into a hug. It was the first time Haruka has initiated something like this. “I chose you. You’re not a burden.”

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough for you.”

“It’s not over yet,” Haruka said, definite. “It’s going to be alright. I promise.”

When they arrived at Sera’s swimming pool, the others were already in their swimsuits, stretching on the side of the pool. The whole Iwatobi club was there, alongside Sousuke and two more boys. Gou was helping Aki stretch at the side. They all looked up when they came in, expressions betraying their curiosity and worry.

Makoto and Sousuke were the first one to stand up, synchronized and all. They walked over and looked over the two of them. Makoto smiled and said, “Go change into your swimsuits and stretch. We’ll start the relay when you’re ready.”

Standing in line by the pool, Rin felt nostalgia creeping in. This wasn’t anything like that time. It was a big stadium then, with lots of people and a trophy at the end of the pool. This time, they only had four people to fight, a group of people who weren’t even a real relay team. An orange-haired younger boy Sousuke called Momo was in front of their line, unabashedly staring at him every now and then. The next one was a gray-haired boy who was almost as small as Nagisa. Gou had called him Nitori-kun. He kept on looking at Rin too, but looking away whenever Rin caught him staring. Then there’s Sousuke who was right beside Rin, the one who’ll fight him in the Butterfly stroke. Lastly, there was Aki who looked determinedly in front, aiming for first like she always did.

Rin didn’t know what was going to happen, but he could feel the familiar tension in the air. Change was coming.

Makoto and Momo dropped down the pool to take their positions, holding on to the railing as Gou counted down.

“Ready, set, go!”

Makoto had a good start, legs still as strong as before and arms moving quickly and surely on the water. He was such a powerful swimmer, the type who would make you feel at ease. When Rin looked at his form, he felt like he could hear Makoto saying “it’s okay to rely on me”.

He was so much bigger than that Momo, but the distance wasn’t that big. Momo had his own style, quick with his strokes compared to Makoto’s strength-based strokes.

Makoto tapped the end faster, shouting “Nagisa!” just as Nagisa dove towards the water.

It wasn’t a good start, but Rin expected that already. Nagisa was not good at diving, but he was good at the latter part of the race. Nitori caught up and was even able to gain a few inches ahead, when the turnover happened. Nagisa kicked, arms rotating faster than usual, going faster and faster as if wanting to get to them quicker.

“Nagisa! You can do it!” Rin could not help but cheer.

As if hearing him, Nagisa swam forward and tapped the wall. “Rin-chan!”

Rin dived down the pool, uneasy and imperfect landing because of lack of practice. It was strong enough usually, but Sousuke was the opponent. In one fell swoop, Sousuke was in front of him. Unlike their other fights, Sousuke was seriously taking him on today. He was fighting him for real, giving him the challenge he needed.

With Makoto’s voice and Nagisa’s smile in mind, he kicked on the water harder.

He didn’t need to think of the other side of the lane. There was something much more important here. Like in the relay five years ago, Haruka was waiting for him at the end.

_It’s not over yet._

Haruka, who has accepted him after months of pestering before, and who has accepted him now again, despite all his misgivings. That Haruka was waiting for him at the end. The wall was still there to connect them together.

_It’s going to be alright._

This time, Rin was going to put all of his trust on Haruka. He was going to believe in the strength behind those clear blue eyes, under that light skin. He had been in Haruka’s head, should have known even before that Haruka was made of power.

_I promise._

Rin touched the end of the pool, the wall connecting them. He looked up, light flooding his senses. “Haru!” he shouted. Haruka was just a ray of light diving right into the water, leaving a splash of water forming a rainbow. The image opened something in his head, a clearer image of the relay, a distinct feeling coming back. _Ah_ , he thought. _I’m still in love with him._

He rose up from the pool immediately, eyes tracking Haruka’s movements. Blood pumped faster in his veins, excitement and nervousness mixing in.

As always, Haruka glided in the water like something inhuman; something god-like, something beyond beautiful. Rin knows Aki was working hard as well, keeping up at Haruka’s side. But Rin could only stare at Haruka, could only focus on the rhythmic movements of his arms.

It was a close fight, but Haruka surged forward, touched the wall and rose up from the pool.

Before Rin knew what he was doing, he had already jumped forward and enveloped Haruka in a familiar hug. “You’re amazing,” he sobbed out, burying his head on Haruka’s neck. _We did it_ , he thought. _You did it_.

His thoughts echo in his head, the earlier sense coming back. Something was opening, wider and wider as he stayed in Haruka’s arms.

Haruka stepped back, still close but far enough to be able to look Rin in the eyes.

Then, _then_ , he smiled. A real one. The breathtaking smile Rin saw in that relay. It was just like then. Haruka was smiling at him, _for him_.

“We did it,” he said, voice full of emotion.

And then.

And then he stepped _forward_ , leaning in, kissing Rin on the lips.

But unlike before, Haruka stayed there for a few seconds, as if savoring the moment. And Rin pushed forward, returning the kiss.

When they pulled back, they stared each other in the eyes, matching smiles on their faces.

**Don’t do that again** , Haruka thought.

Rin’s eyes widened, smile growing impossibly wider. **I won’t**.

**\- - -**

Matsuoka Rin was **back** , and his memories were still a little bit fuzzy, but when he looks into Haruka’s eyes, he hears **I’m glad you’re here**  and in his heart, it feels like _everything_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ha ha ohmygod it's done... can you believe that... look at that shit... pls feel free to tell where I went wrong so I can edit it out before more people see it  
> /cries because i'm done
> 
> but also did you see those loose threads??? characters that are there for more than rinharu's happy ending??? yeah...  
> /cries because:  
>  **404**  
>  _Makoto left Iwatobi after graduating high school to find greener pastures, meet new people, discover more in life. So on his first day of college, he didn't expect his Psychology 204 (Soulmates in Society) class to be interrupted by a panting Sousuke opening the door and saying, "I'm sorry, sir, I was lost."_  
>  aka hi we've always planned for a spinoff to happen. SouMako, featuring MikoAki.
> 
> I'll never be free (from this au and this fandom)


	7. The Afterparty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tying the loose ends and opening the book on another adventure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE!!! Happy 2 years of this thing!!!
> 
> This isn’t really the epilogue, because ‘epilogue’ sounds like it should be at the _end_ of the series. This is more of an “afterparty” if anything. Also it’s a giant launchpad and PR for the second story in this series. Because I can do what I want.
> 
> This focuses on HaruRin, of course, because this is their story, but the MakoSou undertones are more obvious, so you know, only proceed if you’re okay with that.

Okay, so Aki probably should have known about all of this. She was planning the joint practice alongside everyone this whole time! She walked with Makoto and Haruka to school every morning! Sousuke didn’t even tell her about this!

To be fair, it wasn’t their story to tell. And she really should have figured it out from the context clues. Rin and Haruka were nauseatingly, impossibly adorable back then.

"So what you're saying is, they don't really kiss after every relay?" Aki asked, narrowing her eyes at the two boys in question on the other side of the pool. She brought her attention back to Gou and crossed her arms. "And you're telling me this was all a giant ploy to make them kiss again?" Of course, there was the fact that they were soulmates and that it was a whole complicated, drama-filled story. But! _The kiss_. "They kissed in front of everyone before." Without any shame, to boot! It didn’t seem like an on the spot action. Rather, it felt like part of the whole winning performance. It was the kind of flashy thing Rin would do, too.

"Doesn't it sound absurd, Aki-san?" Rei had a deep frown on his face. "Who just kisses people in front of-"

Nagisa, in true absurd fashion, leaned on Rei and kissed him on the cheek. "It's fun!" He grinned widely, a self-satisfied expression on his face.

Aki and Gou burst out laughing as Rei flushed crimson. It was adorable. She only knew a handful of soulmates but she could say Nagisa and Rei were at the top of the list of cutest couples. ( _Not that they were a couple yet_ , she thought. Rei was trying to explain earlier that they were getting to know each other. Or something. Nagisa just giggled at him when he was talking.)

"I didn't think Nagisa would grow up to be like this," Aki confessed, feigning disappointment. "Who would have thought? He used to be so cute!"

Gasping in affront, Nagisa puffed up his cheeks and leaned forward in front of Rei to get closer to Aki. "I'm still cute!" He argued, voice and expression proving his point. He was even cuter than Aki. (But Gou was still the cutest.) “I’m still cute, right?” He looked at the other two.

"You are," Gou nodded in agreement. Then, slyly, she asked, "Right, Rei-kun?"

Rei, still with that blush, nodded a bit in agreement. “Sure, he is.”

Nagisa cheered and snuggled to Rei’s side.

“They’re so cute…” Aki muttered.

“They are,” Gou sighed out happily.

They stayed like that for a while, with the two girls watching Nagisa flirt with Rei, until Nitori and Momotarou stopped at their side.

Aki looked up with a large smile. The two has been a big help, especially considering how they weren’t even friends with the people at Iwatobi. She stood up and bowed her head gratefully. “Thank you for joining us today!”

Nitori quickly shook his head, eyes wide. “No, no!” He raised both hands towards her in a panicked motion. “I was going to thank you! It was a great experience, seeing my idols swim again.”

Momotarou nodded in agreement. “I’ve got a strong rival in that guy!”

“He’s not your rival,” Nitori whispered sharply, like it was an old argument. “Momo-kun, how many-”

“And that backstroke guy was good too! He was like ZOOOM and GRRAAWR!” Momotarou continued ranting like Nitori didn’t speak. “That was great! Thanks, Aki-san!”

Aki smiled at the energetic boy, not quite sure how to react to that. “I’ll introduce you to them when they walk by here,” she said, then motioned towards the other people sitting on the ground by her side. “You’ve met Gou. This is Hazuki Nagisa-kun and Ryuugazaki Rei-kun.” When the aforementioned people looked up to smile and wave in greeting, she pointed towards the two and said, “Guys, these are Mikoshiba Momotarou-kun and Nitori Aiichirou-kun. I met them when I went to Samezuka.”

Nagisa stood up as well to peer at them closer. He grinned widely. “Nice to meet you, Momo-chan! Ai-chan!”

Nitori blinked in confusion, trailing off “Ai-chan…?”

Momotarou, on the other hand, grinned just as widely and patted Nagisa on the back. “Nice to meet you too, Nagisacchi!”

“Oh, no,” Rei muttered at the side, just as Nagisa jumped up and down in glee with a shout of “Momo-chan!!!”

“Oh, no,” Gou agreed, watching them with wide eyes. “There’s two of them now.”

Nitori sighed and bowed his head a bit. “Momo-kun is worse. I’m sorry in advance.”

Rei waved a hand in dismissal. “I’m not sure about that.” He pointed to the space Nagisa vacated. “Do you want to sit down? We’re waiting for Rin-senpai and Haruka-senpai to finish—” he started, before glancing over to the two who were still swimming at the other side of the pool, then ended with, “—uh, doing things.”

“Ah, thanks.” Nitori smiled gratefully and sat down. Their conversation devolved into talking about swimming and their respective strokes. At Rei’s other side, Gou continued watching Nagisa and Momotarou in amusement.

Aki couldn’t help but smile at the image they all made. Chiyo-senpai did say that branching out was good. She’s sure she didn’t mean it quite like this, but Aki felt like this was a good way to foster friendship between their swim clubs anyway. She knew this was the start of a good relationship between all of them.

“Speaking of…” She looked around to search for Makoto and Sousuke. Makoto was the captain of the Iwatobi Swimming Club, while Sousuke was the vice-captain of the Samezuka Swimming Club. By next year, all of them would be the captains of their respective clubs. It felt like the three of them should talk about some official Captain-like things, for some proper branching out. “Where are those two?”

“Yamazaki-senpai went to buy some drinks!” Momotarou stopped chattering with Nagisa for a second to answer. Nagisa joined in and said, “And Mako-chan said he’ll help!”

Aki nodded, going back to her seat beside Gou. “They’ve made up, then.” She sighed in relief. She really would have been worried if they didn’t become friends. At least now, the lines between Sera-Samezuka-Iwatobi were safe for next year.

**\- - -**

Makoto has dreamed about meeting his soulmate since he was young. He even had literal dreams like everyone else. The most recurring one was that of a dark-haired girl who frowned at him and said “I hate you”. At the time, he thought it was just his mind conjuring the worst possible scenario. It couldn’t be that bad, right?

He started having doubts earlier when he properly saw Sousuke for the first time. It was pretty clear that his dark-haired girl was at least fifty-percent right. And while Sousuke did not hate him, they did not start off in good terms either.

Worst of all, based on Sousuke’s reaction to him, he did not feel the same connection, or he did not care about it.

“Are you done?” Sousuke appeared at his side, basket full of juice bottles and Pocari. He glanced at Makoto’s empty hands. “Couldn’t choose anything?”

Makoto smiled and shook his head. “I think what you have is enough,” he said, then took out his phone. “Rin sent me a message asking for one Pocari. And he said we’ll go somewhere after to eat. His treat.”

“Nice,” Sousuke said, whistling low. “Gonna bribe us all, huh?”

“I don’t think _bribe_ is the right word,” Makoto said, chuckling. They walked side by side to the cashier and watched as the items were scanned.

“I bet he thinks he’s paying us back. That idiot.”

Each taking one plastic bag, they walked out of the convenience store in step with each other. _One, two, one, two. Left, right, left, right_. _In synch, like two hearts beating as one_. Makoto shook his head and looked up at the sky, refusing to notice anything else.

“He probably does,” he agreed belatedly. “It’s hard to shake off habit.”

“Well, he should, anyway. We’re his friends,” Sousuke argued lightly.

“It’s a process, Yamazaki-kun.”

Sousuke raised an eyebrow at that, visibly peeking at his face. “There it is,” he said, chuckling to himself, “the saint everyone’s been talking about.”

Makoto frowned. “I’m not a saint.”

“A saint would say that,” Sousuke said, laughing louder now. “So it was just me, huh? Man, I must have really pissed you off.”

 _Well, you were wrong_ , Makoto was about to say, but stopped himself. He knew that was a sore topic. The expression on Sousuke’s face when he found out was still clear in Makoto’s head. He didn’t want to see it again. “I was harsh on you. Sorry.” He wasn’t entirely sure if it was just because of his protectiveness for Haru that he lashed out that badly. He didn’t want to read into it right now, though. Maybe later, when he has time to process all of these. “I was really worried about Haru.”

“You don’t have to say sorry.” Sousuke glanced up as well, smiling wistfully at the sky. “I was the one in the wrong.”

“You didn’t-”

“Nah.” Sousuke offered him a small smile. “Nanase’s a pretty great guy. I should have talked to him first.”

Makoto focused at the clouds, sighing. “He is. Rin is, too. They’re gonna be good for each other.”

“But we have to watch over them,” Sousuke mused. “We’ll be their guardian angels. Oh, but you’re the saint so I guess…”

“I’m not a saint!” Makoto exclaimed, aware that he looked like a child with his reaction just then. “Yamazaki-kun, I’m pretty normal.”

Sousuke scrunched up his nose at that, rubbing the back of his neck. “Just call me Sousuke. Yamazaki’s too formal.”

Makoto glanced at him, then away again. He took a deep breath, and exhaled it _one, two, three_. “Then, call me Makoto.”

Sousuke smiled and said “Yeah” just as they arrived at the door of Sera’s indoor pool. “Let’s go pass this around, Makoto.”

 _Gods, give me strength_ , Makoto pleaded to the high heavens as they walked in.

**\- - -**

Rin knew he had the world’s cheesiest expression on, and he could hear the laughter from Gou and Nagisa at the other side of the pool. He knew, but he just could not stop himself from smiling like a… well, a lovesick teenager. Because he was exactly that. It felt like there’s been this whole hidden barricaded area in his heart keeping all of his feelings for Haruka, and it was so full that bits and pieces were leaking out even with the lock. And now, with the barricade taken down, the emotions flooded his senses instantly. His eyes saw the light Haruka has always represented in his life; his ears picked on the smallest sighs; his skin, where Haruka touched it, felt warmer; his mind was filled with echoes of Haruka’s words.

**I’m glad you’re here.**

Haruka was glad he was here. Haruka was glad he was his soulmate. Haruka was glad he was back.

Haruka accepted him despite everything.

“Are you going to cry?” Haruka asked, coming closer and staring him in the eye.

It still was exciting to have Haruka look at him like this, without any pain and anger. Just straightforward, like how he did before.

 **I’m so happy** , Rin thought, not even replying to the obvious jibe. He was so happy he was going to let it pass. After all, Haruka didn’t abandon him. They were together again and they would get through everything together. Nothing could bring down his mood. There was just so much joy flowing through his veins, and all of those were rooted in Haruka’s smile.

Frowning, Haruka said, “You’re-” He paused, then sighed. “Stop that.”

Rin blinked. “What?”

Haruka looked back at him to stare him in the eyes. **I’m going to drown in your-**

Grinning, Rin asked, “You’re going to drown in my eyes?”

 **You are embarrassing** , Haruka shot back, glaring now. **And sentimental.**

Rin laughed. “Give me this. It’s… overwhelming.” **I’ve missed it. I’ve missed you.**

“It’s overwhelming for me, too,” Haruka said, looking down at the water. Rin did not need to look him in the eye to know that he thought, _I missed you too_. “But…” He smiled softly, hand cupping the water. “But I don’t want to go underwater.” He looked up. **I like it.**

“Go underwater?” Rin wasn’t sure if that was weird or if he should be flattered. If Haruka was choosing him over water, that would be like… that was like the grandest confession. Rin has already given up before on becoming more cherished than the water for Haruka, but it looked like he still had a chance! Yes!

Haruka frowned again. **You’re strange.**

 **You’re the strange one** , Rin replied. He really, really wanted to kiss Haruka again. The urge was as overwhelming as the emotions swimming in his head.

“No,” Haruka said, narrowing his eyes. “We have to get back to the others now. You’re treating us to lunch, right?”

Rin rolled his eyes. “Fine,” he sighed. “You’re definitely weirder than me,” he muttered to himself as they got out of the pool. “Definitely.”

**\- - -**

Sousuke watched from a distance as Gou gave the bottles around to the others. Everyone was talking amiably, so it was clear Aki had introduced them already. Momotarou, Nagisa, Rei and Nitori seemed to be in a heated discussion on whether or not soulmates were a scientific topic or a magical one. Aki was talking to Makoto on the side about their plans for the ‘official’ joint practices.

Just as he was about to go over there to share his thoughts on the matter, Rin and Haruka walked over.

“You finished?” Sousuke asked, smiling teasingly. Rin looked better than ever. His smile was almost as bright as it was when they were children. It made Sousuke feel better about all of this.

“Yeah,” Rin smiled back, elation evident in his tone. “We need to pack up so we can go and eat.”

“I heard. Your treat?”

Rin shrugged, trying to act casual even though it was obvious he was embarrassed. “Yeah, well.” He waved his hand as if to dismiss this conversation away. “I’m feeling generous.”

“I’m sure,” Sousuke said dryly. He looked over to Haruka who was watching the others with interest. “I guess you haven’t met the others, huh? Here, I’ll introduce you two.” He walked closer to the group and cleared his throat to get their attention. Various interesting expressions passed through their faces: Nagisa and Gou had similar blinding smiles; Rei looked awestruck; Momotarou looked like he wanted to jump up and interrogate the two; Nitori looked like he was going to faint in nervousness; Makoto had that soft, happy smile that made his face at least five times more charming.

“This is Nitori Aiichirou, my underclassman in the swim club,” Sousuke explained, motioning towards him. “And this is Momotarou Mikoshiba, the younger brother of our captain.”

“And Nitori-senpai’s soulmate!” Momo exclaimed, standing up and taking Rin’s hand to shake. He tried to stare Rin down, even though he was inches smaller. “Nice to meet you.” His voice took on a funny low tone that was obviously an attempt at being intimidating.

Rin just blinked in confusion for a moment before smiling warmly. “Nice to meet you too, Mikoshiba-kun,” he said, looking entertained by the younger boy’s energy. “You’re really fast for a middle schooler. You must win a lot of competitions, huh?”

Momotarou’s eyes widened, and his earlier expression of forced seriousness melted into an expression of admiration. “Thank you, Rin-senpai!” He grinned widely and shook Rin’s hand some more.

 _Uh-oh. There it is_. Rin’s good mood brought back his killer skills. Sousuke couldn’t help but laugh to himself. This was beyond funny.

“Nitori,” Sousuke called out, glancing at the shaking boy.

Aki and Gou giggled at the side, and Nagisa poked on Nitori’s arm. “He’s frozen,” Nagisa said, continuously poking. “Oiiii~ Ai-chan~”

“He’s been a huge fan since the relay in elementary,” Aki offered just as Nitori got his bearings back and uttered, “please don’t call me Ai-chan” to Nagisa. Nitori stood up and bowed low to the two. “It’s nice to finally meet the two of you, Haruka-senpai, Rin-senpai! I- I’ve always admired you both!”

“Is that okay?” Nagisa spoke up, standing besides Momotarou. “He just confessed to them.”

Momotarou grinned, crossing his arms and huffing out as if he wasn’t just worried about it minutes ago. “I understand! I completely understand!”

Rin turned red, eyes widening in confusion. Haruka glanced at him for a second, watching with a soft expression, before he stepped forward and said, “Nice to meet you two. Thank you for your help.”

“It was nothing!” Nitori shook his head adamantly. “It was an honor! You were great, Nanase-san!”

“Yeah!” Momotarou agreed. “You were really fast! Faster than anyone I’ve seen! I bet you’re faster than my brother!”

Sousuke laughed, slapping a hand behind Momotarou. “Oi, your brother’s gonna be sad if he hears that.”

“Mikoshiba-san has the record on freestyle racing in the High School 100m division, right?” Aki laughed, raising an eyebrow at Sousuke. “Looks like your school won’t hold the crown much longer, huh?”

“We have an indoor pool and a gym,” Sousuke said, shrugging. “Come at us, we say.”

Rin groaned, punching his arm. “What’s up with that?! Go back to your state-of-the-art equipments! Leave us normal folk here!”

“Sera is richer than both of your schools combined, I’m just saying,” Aki remarked smugly.

Laughing, Rin faced her and said, “if it’s you, it’s fine”. Sousuke hoped this mood would last forever. He looked so pleasant like this. “Long time no see, Aki.”

“Nice to see you again, Matsuoka-kun,” she greeted. “You’re still as fast as ever, huh? My team is dying to meet you. Everyone’s been talking about you.”

Rin blushed again, rubbing the back of his neck in his usual mannerism when embarrassed. “I’m not all that. They’ll just be disappoint-” All at once, Haruka narrowed his eyes at Rin, Gou pinched her brother’s arm and Nagisa bumped his head on Rin’s back. Surprised, Rin looked down at Gou. “What?”

“None of that,” Sousuke said in response, kicking Rin on the shins lightly. “I thought we needed to pack up?”

“Right.” Rin still had a confused expression even when Nagisa led him to the room where they left their things.

Aki bit her lip and looked at Sousuke, then at Haruka. “I’m sorry. Did I say something wrong?” She looked worried.

“It’s not your fault,” Sousuke said immediately. “Rin’s just- well, he’s-”

“He’s just insecure about a few things,” Makoto explained, finding the word Sousuke couldn’t remember. “We’re gonna try and make him feel better about himself, whenever we can.”

“He looks happy,” she noted, glancing at the door they disappeared in. Then, glancing back at Haruka, she added, “You look happy, too.”

Haruka blinked at her in surprise before his expression turned back into that soft expression he wore while watching Rin. “I am,” he agreed. “Thank you for your help, Aki.”

Aki blushed this time, shaking her head sheepishly. “I just wanted to swim with all of you again. I didn’t even know the whole story until now.” At that, she narrowed her eyes and faced Sousuke. “You.”

He gulped, stepping back. “Me...?”

“You knew everything and you didn’t even tell me anything!” She crossed her arms and glowered at him disapprovingly. “I get that it wasn’t your secret to tell, but really, that was foul. We were allies!”

“He didn’t tell me at first, either?” Makoto offered in defense, though Sousuke knew that technically he did, in fact, confirm Makoto’s suspicions about the two. It was nice of him to lie for him.(Then again, this was the real Makoto, wasn’t it? Sousuke felt like he’ll get more and more surprised at the difference between his first impression of the guy and his real personality.)

Aki sighed. “Fine,” she said. “I’m not angry anyway. I just wanted to vent.”

“It wasn’t…” Haruka looked thoughtful. “You helped even without knowing,” he said. “That’s what matters. You helped a lot.” His voice was full of gratefulness. “Thank you.”

“Everyone helped,” Aki said, smiling now. “Lots of people really care about you, Haruka-kun.”

“Yeah,” Haruka said, glancing at Makoto and Rei with an affectionate smile. “I’m blessed.”

Sousuke watched his expression for a moment, the reassurance that Rin was in good hands settling into his chest. Rin had Haruka and everyone else in here to care about him. Everything was going to be alright. Rin wouldn’t feel pain like that again.

“Okay! Let’s go pack up now before Rin goes out here and complain to us,” he called out to the room at large.

They all nodded and went to work getting their things.

They ended up walking to Piyo’s, the family diner in front of Samezuka, to eat. Rin insisted that it was good because it was close, the others knew what to order, and they had a student-affordable menu. Nagisa exclaimed that he would order everything, which resulted to a rather childish game of tag with Nagisa, Rin, Makoto and Rei as they walked on the road.

Sousuke stayed beside Aki because she was the most mature one in the group, and so she was less likely to run off towards them.

“I can’t believe they’re in high school now,” Aki said, watching the four. “This looks like something their twelve years old selves would do.”

“They’re in a celebrative mood,” Sousuke said. “Though, Hazuki looks like he’s normally like this.”

“Seems like,” Aki agreed. “You’ve got Momo-kun so I bet you know exactly how that feels.” She looked like she couldn’t even fathom having this kind of energy around, which Sousuke knew was a lie, because the girl’s swimming team was composed of really rowdy girls as well. Not like Nagisa and Momo, definitely, but they were just as hard to handle for sure. Chiyo used to always complain to Sousuke when they were in joint practices before.

“Momo’s not a member of the Swim Club yet so it’s not like we’ve got him around all the time.” He couldn’t imagine what would happen next year when he becomes captain and Momotarou transfers into their school. He probably should get advice from Makoto about how he handles having Nagisa around. “Our captain, though. He’s almost as bad as Momotarou. But in a Spartan Captain way.”

Aki laughed. “I’ve got so many people telling me about this guy that I don’t even know what’s real anymore. Chiyo-senpai told me to stay away.”

“Good advice,” Sousuke nodded sagely. “He’s got the tendency to be overly excited around cute girls. Since we’re an all-boy’s school.”

“Chiyo-senpai said your captain acted like joint practice was speed dating,” she said, laughing still. “I can’t imagine at all! He seemed like such a serious person when I saw him in competitions.”

“You’ve never been in a joint practice with us, huh? We should really arrange for something so you’ll see it in person.”

Aki nodded. “I was in first year when we got that joint practice and my parents told me not to come. We haven’t had one this year,” she explained. “I’ll ask my captain about when we’re free.”

“That’s a deal, then.” It would be fun to see how Aki would react to Mikoshiba’s real personality. His cool expressions during competitions was a misleading front, so seeing Mikoshiba in practice always was an experience. “I can’t wait.”

**\- - -**

Haruka and Gou sat down on the booth first, having entered the diner ahead of everyone else. Rin, Rei, and Makoto were still chasing Nagisa around, because somehow Nagisa had taken Rin’s wallet while they were packing things up. It was probably Nagisa’s way of livening things up more and having fun. It sure worked on Rin, because despite the angry shouts of “give it back!”, he couldn’t stop the fondness in his tone or the laughter that escaped him when Rei almost fell down while trying to catch Nagisa.

Sousuke and Aki were at the very back of their group earlier, talking with each other while watching the four in amusement.

“Should I order for them?” Gou looked down at the menu. “I know how much my brother has, I think.”

“Let’s wait for them,” Haruka answered. It was better that way. Rin would let Nagisa order anything he wants, he knew. His head has been filled with so much appreciation for everyone that it was obvious that he would let them eat whatever they want. Haruka felt the same way. None of this would have happened if they didn’t all help. No matter what they said, the two of them owed them. A mere lunch won’t be enough payback.

Gou put the menu down and looked up at Haruka, expression turning pensive. “Um, Haruka-senpai,” she started, “I haven’t said this before, so. Thank you. For keeping the bond. It’s--” She looked down, biting her lip. “It’s hard sometimes, when he gets like that. He thinks he doesn’t deserve anyone. The fact that you kept the bond safe was… It would help him realize how important he is, I think.”

 _I didn’t really do it for him_ , Haruka thought. There wasn’t anything complicated in his head when he held on to the bond. It was in itself a selfish action. He just didn’t want to let the bond go, simple as that. But, with this kind of result, Haruka could not bring himself to feel guilty about it.

Instead of saying any of that, he said, “he’s important.” Because Rin was. Just like Makoto said, they were going to make Rin accept that fact. Rin was important to all of them.

“I’m glad it’s you,” Gou said. “You make him happy.”

 _He makes me happy too_ , he did not say. Haruka was glad Rin wasn’t here to read his thoughts. Rin’s thoughts were bad enough for both of them. “Thank you,” he replied.

Just in time, the others pushed through the door and walked to their side. The booths weren’t enough for all of them, so Makoto and Aki went to ask a waitress to add a table at their side. As they went, the others piled in to sit inside the booth. Rin sat beside Gou, unsubtle as always. It was obvious he wanted to be in front of Haruka to telepathically communicate more.

“I wasn’t thinking that!” Rin exclaimed, unconvincingly. **I wasn’t!**

Haruka gave him the most unimpressed expression he could conjure. **Right.**

Rin’s eyebrows furrowed, sulking. **Okay, maybe it was in the back of my mind. A little.**

“Oh, so is this how we look?,” Nagisa asked, sitting beside Rin with Rei in front of him. Momotarou and Nitori sat beside each other on the chairs being put on the side of their booth. Makoto and Aki sat on the other side, and then Sousuke took the head of the table. “It is weird,” Nagisa added, laughing when Rin elbowed him. “Okay, but you’re cute, too.”

“I don’t want to be called that by you.” Rin scrunched up his nose, which really just proved Nagisa’s point. Rin _was_ cute. Haruka missed seeing all these expressions up close. He hoped he’ll get to see more of them.

Rin glanced at him, which was a mistake because as soon as their eyes met, he turned a bright shade of red. He looked away just as quickly. “Now, who’s the sentimental one?,” he muttered.

Gou and Nagisa stared at Rin’s face for a second before raising both hands and high-fiving with Rin right between them.

“What?” Rin glanced at the two in suspicion. “Stop doing that.”

“There’s no point, Rin-senpai,” Rei advised. “Just give up on that one.”

Haruka smiled as Rin scowled at that. Rin directed his scowl at Haruka and thought, **You’re enjoying this.**

 **I am** , Haruka thought. Of course he was. Rin was loved, and he was happy. They were around the people who cared about them the most. This was something he didn’t even think was possible months ago.

Rin’s expression softened then, smiling warmly. **Thank you for making sure I kept my promise. This wouldn’t have happened without you.**

 **I didn’t do it for you.** It was just the fact, right?

 **That’s exactly why.** Rin laughed. **You have your own pace, and I’m glad you gave me the honor of staying with you. You didn’t do it for me. That means you wanted me for yourself, right?** As if realizing what he just thought, Rin’s expression turned mortified. His head filled with **shit shit did i just think that oh god oh god.**

 **Embarrassing** , Haruka thought, laughing at his expression.

There were conversations going around them while they were talking, but suddenly everyone turned quiet.

“Wow,” Rei gasped. Nagisa stared at Haruka with wide eyes. Makoto looked like he wanted to jump over the table and hug him. The others looked confused. Haruka looked back at Rin in question.

“You laughed,” Rin said, voice full of awe. “You just laughed!”

Haruka blinked. “I did,” he confirmed, unsure why that was such a big thing.

Rin’s mind blasted new images then, replaying the sound of Haruka’s laughter and the expression on Haruka’s face. Seeing it from the outside just felt weird for Haruka, but the intensity of Rin’s happiness was affecting him, too. It was impossible to not be influenced by Rin’s emotions. They were so strong, dense in its concentration and spreading out like wild fire.

 **I missed that, too**. Rin looked down then, probably remembering the reason why Haruka laughed on the first place. “Rei, exchange with me,” he said, trying to sound serious but really just looking childish.

“What?” Nagisa put both of his hands on Rin’s arm. “No! I’m enjoying this! You can’t stop now!”

“Besides,” Makoto spoke up calmly, innocently looking at Rin. “It’s hard to move now that we’re all seated.” Nothing about Makoto was actually innocent. Haruka grew up with him. Makoto was just as mischievous as Nagisa, though he was quieter and sneakier about it.

Haruka nodded in agreement. “Don’t be difficult, Rin,” he said chidingly.

Rin glared at Haruka. **You are really enjoying this.**

**Yes, I am.**

**\- - -**

Nagisa was in cloud-nine. He was sitting in a family diner with the whole team and a bunch of new friends. He was eating the tastiest burger he had ever tasted in his entire life. And when he looks up, he hears Rei’s constant happy thoughts coinciding with his. Everything felt right in the world. This was what he’s wanted for so long.

There were conversations going around the table: like Rin determinedly talking with Rei and not looking at Haruka (because he was embarrassed); and Makoto and Sousuke sharing their ideas for the joint practices; and Momo and Aki talking about Momo’s plans for high school. Gou and Nitori were eating quietly while watching all of them, just as he was.

Something in Nagisa’s chest had felt all light the moment they finished the relay earlier. Seeing all of them together like this right now, it just made him feel it more. He felt the rightness of this, the feeling that this was exactly where they should be.

This felt like its own kind of bond. It wasn’t some scientific / biological / chemical / magical bond like what soulmates have, but it was precious anyway. It was the kind of feeling you want to feel forever, the kind that makes you want to keep it safe.

“You’re quiet,” Rin noted, voice low so as not to get any attention.

“I’m just thinking,” Nagisa replied. “This is good, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Rin nodded. “It’s good.”

“Ah, and I just realized something.” Nagisa grinned impishly as he recalled something Rin’s mom had said. In the middle of all those serious talks, there was something that registered in Nagisa’s mind as prime teasing material. “Rin-chan’s mom said something interesting.”

Rin narrowed his eyes warily. “What did she say…?”

“She said that you didn’t tell her Haru-chan’s name because you were only going to tell her if-”

“Stop!” Rin raised both hands up, looking around to see if anyone was listening in. Nagisa laughed at his panicky expression. “I remember that. You don’t need to- I was _young_.”

“Rin-chan is such a romantic,” Nagisa teased. “But since she knows Haru-chan now, does that mean you’re gonna propose?”

Rin opened his mouth, but then he glanced at Haruka for a moment and then looked away just as quickly. He stopped and shook his head, ears turning red. Nagisa wondered what Haruka heard and what he said in reply. Haruka looked curious and like he was going to laugh again. It was such a great look on him.

“I’m not!” Rin said in a sharp whisper. “We’re seventeen!”

“I know,” Nagisa said, blinking. “I’m not saying _now_.” He laughed then, enjoying Rin’s expression. An active and expressive Rin was the best kind of Rin. “Rin-chan is so cute!”

Letting out a drained sigh, Rin let his head drop on the back of the chair, staring at the ceiling as if asking for help from the heavens. “Okay, you can go back to being quiet now. It’s better.”

“Oh but I want to know _everything_ you’re planning for your wedding,” Nagisa insisted with a laugh.

“Nagisa…” Rin put an arm around his neck and started giving him a noogie. “Stop talking about that!”

“Children,” Aki called out, giving them the stinkeye. “Please.”

“Yeah, _children_ ,” Sousuke echoed with a laugh. “Act your age.”

Nagisa looked up at Rin’s face to see him sneering at his best friend. He looked like he wanted to throw his burger at Sousuke’s face, which was a funny idea but would probably make Aki angry. Nagisa didn’t want to make Aki angry. “Okay~” He raised one hand up like in class. “We’re gonna behave now~!”

Aki just rolled her eyes at that.

Going back to eating again, Nagisa looked down only to realize that his burger was now gone. He wasn’t even close to full yet.

“Here,” Rei said, placing half of his burger on Nagisa’s plate. “I’m done.”

Nagisa smiled widely, wondering how he could have been so lucky to be soul bonded with such a kind person. _Who would give up this burger? This burger crafted by the gods themselves? Only Rei_. “Rei-chan, thank you! I love you!” He then proceeded to attack the burger, gulping it down happily.

When he was done, Rin elbowed him and said, “I think you broke Rei.”

“Hm?” Nagisa looked up to see Rei’s red face. “Awww,” he cooed, taking out his phone. “Rei-chan!” He took a picture before leaning forward to poke Rei’s cheek. “Rei-chan~ Earth to Rei-chan~”

“Nagisa-kun!” Rei swatted his hand. **You are ridiculous.**

Laughing, Nagisa nodded. “You like me anyway~”

Rin groaned at the side. “See, this isn’t like us at all. This is nauseating.”

“Nauseatingly cute,” Nagisa heard Gou say just as she hit Rin on the side. “Just accept it, nii-san. You’re one of them now.”

“That’s right, Rin-chan! Don’t fight it!” He cackled even as Rin put him on another headlock.

**\- - -**

After eating, they all filed out of the restaurant and waited for Rin outside. Rei stood at the side and watched as the others gathered at the side of the road.

Nitori and Momotarou stopped at the front of the line and faced them. Nitori smiled politely while Momotarou grinned and saluted them. “We need to get going now,” Nitori said, bowing his head. Momotarou nodded and added, “Nitori-senpai is tutoring me so I can have good enough grades for Samezuka!”

Amidst the chorus of goodbyes, Rei could not help but chuckle at Sousuke’s quiet “Good luck with that”.

They were all ready to go home by then, only waiting for Rin to say thank you and to walk home together until their paths had to separate. Nagisa wanted to check out a nearby cake shop with Rei and Gou. Aki had to go meet with her Chiyo-senpai to give her an update on what happened. Haruka surely was tired after everything.

But when Rin came out of the diner, excited grin in place, Rei figured ‘well it’s still pretty early’.

“We still have one place to go,” Rin said, pointing towards the general direction of the school district. At the side, Haruka’s expression showed understanding as he nodded. Makoto, glancing over to Haruka, smiled as well.

“Oh!” Nagisa exclaimed, clapping his hands. “We’re going to do it!”

Rei just blinked at the four, hoping to god someone would explain to him what was happening.

“I’ll explain on the way,” Nagisa told him, dragging him by the arm towards where Rin gestured. “This is so awesome~” He looped their arms around and leaned close to explain. By the sound of it, Makoto was doing the same behind them. "See, we have a trophy from the relay we did years ago.”

“The one you did with Rin-san before he went to Australia?”

“Yes!”

“The one where he kissed Haruka-senpai in front of everyone?”

Nagisa giggled and slapped his back. “You really can’t get over that, huh?” His grin seemed to say that he was planning on changing Rei’s mind about public kisses.

**No kissing in public. Actually, no kisses. At all. We’re trying to build a relationship slowly, Nagisa-kun.**

Pouting, Nagisa nodded. “Okay~” he said, not sounding sincere at all. “Anyway, Rin-chan was a really, really, REALLY romantic boy. He was such a cute kid!”

“I heard that!” Rin grumpily yelled from the back.

Nagisa ignored him and continued. “He said it was more romantic to place the trophy in a time capsule and dig it up when we meet again to swim the relay.” He sighed dreamily. “We can dig it out now.”

Rei nodded in understanding. He could imagine it. The four really had such a great connection, a precious experience they shared. Making a time capsule together and promising to dig it out years later sounded exactly like something they would do. It was their thing. It was a reminder of something the four of them did, and it felt too personal for outsiders to be there.

“You’re not an outsider; you should know that.” Nagisa was frowning disapprovingly at him. “You helped a lot and this relay wouldn’t have happened without you!”

“But…” Rei looked down at the road. “Even so, wasn’t it a promise you made with just the four of you?”

Nagisa rolled his eyes. “There wasn’t any specifics when we talked about it. It’s fine~” He tightened his grip on Rei’s arm. “Rin-chan said we’ll do it when we swim the relay again. The important point is the relay. Aki-chan, Gou-chan and Sou-chan are coming too, aren’t they?”

“I suppose so…”

“Besides, you’re one of us now. You can’t escape your destiny, Rei-chan.”

Rei scrunched up his nose. “That sounds like something a villain would say, Nagisa-kun.”

Nagisa just laughed in response.

They ended up in front of a large Sakura tree, the original relay members huddling to one side as they discussed where exactly it was and how they were going to get it. Aki, in a true Captain-like move, strode inside the Swim Club and came back minutes later saying, "Coach Sasabe said we can borrow a shovel from the tool house". (Rin and Makoto had that expression of awe in their faces that clearly meant they thought Aki was god-sent.) Key in hand, she led the way to get the equipment they needed. They went back to the tree with all of the boys holding a shovel each. (Gou insisted she could help, but Rin was stubborn about not letting his precious little sister get dirty.)

"You know, I wouldn't have worn this shirt if I knew you'd be making me work," Sousuke teasingly said, raising an eyebrow at Rin.

Squawking in protest, Rin pointed his shovel at Sousuke, unhelpfully tossing little bits of soil around and almost hitting Sousuke. "Oh, please. We can handle this! Put the shovel down and let us handle this."

Haruka sighed and put his shovel down at the side, sitting beside Aki and huffing. "You can handle it."

It was amusing to see Rin's expression of betrayal, and then his effort to make Haruka look him in the eye, presumably so they can fight inside their heads. As Nagisa said, it really did look weird. Rei was fascinated by it, even though he has accepted now that the one-way telepathy bond he had with Nagisa was the perfect fit for them. It was still beautiful to see someone else with a two-way telepathy.

"Leave it to us," Makoto said loudly so as to stop any arguments. "It's not that far down."

Nagisa laughed, scratching at the soil enthusiastically with the small shovel he was given. "We buried it when we were 12, after all. We couldn't have-" His eyes widened as his hand stopped on a hard poke to the ground. "Ah! I think I got it!"

Rin, forgetting everything else, leaped to his side and used his hand to dust the surface. "It's here!" He looked up and grinned at Haruka, then at Makoto. The four huddled again, watching as Rin and Nagisa propped the tin box out of the hole and into their side. Gou walked in and offered them a scissor to cut through the plastic.

Even though this wasn't as important to him as it was for then, it still felt really suspenseful for Rei. He leaned in and watched in baited breath as Rin cut through the covering and peeled it off. Rin held on to the lid and opened it with ease, revealing the trophy Rei has only seen in pictures. It was like every other trophy, really, but with the knowledge of its importance, he felt giddy and breathless at the sight of it. This might just be a small portion of how the original relay team felt, but he still felt the happiness seep into his bones. Maybe some of it was the happiness bouncing off of Nagisa, too. It was exhilarating, being part of this moment.

Haruka traced a hand at the trophy's side, staring at it with reverence in his eyes. Makoto's smile was bright. Nagisa's whole body was exuding pure happiness. Rin looked up and then looked away almost immediately, wiping his eyes with the back of his arm.

"Rin-senpai, are you crying?" Rei smiled softly, watching as Rin froze and shook his head in denial.

"He is," Sousuke whispered, grinning at Rei. "Though I guess we should let him be, shouldn't we?"

"Right," Rei agreed. "It's a special moment, after all."

Rin just scowled at them but couldn't hide the way his eyes looked glassy.

"Rin, you shouldn't cry about everything," Haruka chastised lightly, almost jokingly as he removed his gaze from the trophy. "You're wasting water."

"Shut up," Rin retorted sulkily.

Giggling in glee, Nagisa gathered the trophy closer to himself. "Where should we put this now?" He looked at the others in question.

"Isn't Haru-chan's the best place?" Makoto looked down at Haruka for a moment, laughing at the frown on his face. "I'm just saying, it's the place we all go to, right?" Another micro-change in Haruka’s expression. "Come on~ It makes sense!"

Rin grimaced at them, standing up and leaning closer to stare Makoto in the eye. "How are you doing that?" He narrowed his eyes at Makoto. "Have I mentioned you have a weird relationship with Haru? Because you do." He leaned back and waited for Makoto's response.

"You've said that already," Makoto laughed and rubbed his neck in embarrassment. "You know how we are."

Rin could only nod in agreement. All of them knew how Makoto and Haruka's closeness was the kind of friendship that seemed so much like a soul bond from afar. They also all knew that there was no point for Rin to get jealous about it.

"Well then!" Nagisa stood up while hugging the trophy. "To Haru-chan's place!"

"Don't invite people to someone else's house," Haruka, Makoto and Rin chorused. The three stopped, stared at each other in shock, and then Makoto and Rin burst out laughing while Haruka rolled his eyes at the two. Rei watched Nagisa's bright smile, the kind that would probably blind someone not used to it. Even Rei had a hard time looking at it directly, so he looked to the side where Sousuke was watching the three in amusement and where Aki and Gou were snickering at their antics.

Somehow, the whole group still stayed together and walked to Haruka's place. It just did not feel right to separate yet. Maybe it was the palpable joy hanging around the group that made them want to delay breaking into groups, or maybe it was just the sheer contentment of having everyone near at last. To Rei, it felt like that desire to hold off on reading the final chapter of a good book, knowing you're close to the end and not wanting to put it down yet.

This was the beginning though. He felt that. This was the first chapter of another book, not the last one.

"That's really poetic," Nagisa said, staring him in the eye. "You really like it? Being around us?" For the first time, it sounded like he was worried about Rei's answer. After taking Rei's hand and dragging him into this world! Rei could almost laugh. "Hey!" Nagisa pouted and slapped a hand on his back. "I get nervous too!"

Rei raised an eyebrow at that. "Nagisa-kun, there are no evidences supporting your claim."

Faking a disgruntled frown, Nagisa turned to the back and exclaimed, "Rin-chan! Rei-chan is being mean to me!"

"Good job!" Rin shouted back, sounding amused.

"Hey!" He crossed his arms now. "Mako-chaaaan~ Rei is being mean!"

"...uh." Makoto scratched his cheek.

"He's abstaining from this talk." Sousuke chuckled at his side. "Your lover's quarrel is your own."

"We've only got one slot for couple of the day and sadly, Matsuoka-kun and Haruka-kun has taken it," Aki added in a faux formal voice. "Please come back again later."

"Mou~" Nagisa stuck out his tongue at all of them before striding over to latch on to Haruka's arm. "I'll just stay with Haru-chan, then!"

Haruka sighed but let him stay there for a while until they reached the doorway of the Nanase Household. "Nagisa," he said, moving his arm away.

Standing straight, Nagisa smiled widely and raised a hand. "I'll open it!!!" Without waiting for anyone's reaction, he darted forward to a loose brick on the ground and plucked it out to reveal a key. He took it and immediately opened the door.

"How-" Rei could hear Rin, Makoto and Aki making confused noises. He didn't know either how Nagisa knew where the key was, but he figured it wasn't something he wanted to know, anyway. It was a running theme with having Nagisa as a soulmate. _Plausible deniability_. He followed suit into the house alongside the others.

They broke out into little group conversations as soon as they were in the living room. Gou, Haruka and Rin were discussing something slightly serious based off their expressions. Makoto had put the trophy on the shelf while Nagisa had pulled Aki to look at photo albums with him.

“Strange, isn’t it?” Sousuke sat beside him, looking around the others like him. “Didn’t expect this to happen when I woke up this morning.”

Rei laughed, knowing exactly the feeling. “It was scary,” he shared. “I never thought I’d have such a huge all-or-nothing scenario this early in my life.”

“And it wasn’t even about us!” Sousuke exclaimed, laughing as well. “Damn, those two really put a lot of pressure on you, didn’t they?”

“No, no, it was nothing compared to yours, Yamazaki-san!”

“Well, I knew Rin since we were young so I had a reason,” he said. His tone seemed to imply a question, an inquiry on why Rei tried so hard like he did.

Rei glanced at Haruka and Rin, expression softening. He has learned a lot in the few months he knew them, and honestly, he never thought he’d end up here, but seeing them right now made him realize how everything was worth it. At the start of the school year, he did not have a soulmate, did not have a close group of friends, did not have a particular thing he was passionate about. But after meeting Nagisa, after meeting all of them, he gained so much more than he could have imagined.

“I had a reason too,” he answered quietly. “I wanted them to be happy.”

Sousuke’s expression changed just a bit, a little of awe and a little of surprise. “You’re a good guy,” he said.

Rei just laughed. “I try.”

\- - -

“It’s simple!” Gou crossed her arms and glared down at her brother. It was just like him to complicate things and be stubborn. “You bring Haruka-senpai home, you explain to mom that you’re going to stick with him and you love him and then mom would accept it and stop talking about the transfer. Easy!”

Really, it was. Their mom planned the transfer with pessimism and worry in her mind. She was not expecting everything to work well. None of them were, in fact. Their mom simply chose to look at the facts and do what was best for her son. With the way her brother and Haruka were acting before, it looked like the only logical choice was to remove Rin from the stressful situation. Any mother would do that. Gou knew it in her heart. It was done out of love.

With the bond intact, that choice was clearly null. Separating the two would harm them rather than help. A million paths opened up the moment they reforged their bond, and none of those were of them being in different schools. It was so _easy._

The silence persisted. She looked up to see her brother’s whole face had turned an obvious shade of red. Haruka had that little almost-smile while looking at Rin. “What?” She raised an eyebrow at the two. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” Rin said, shaking his head as if to dispel whatever he was thinking about. “You make it sound so simple but it’s not that easy.”

She huffed. “I can explain it to her, if you want.”

“No, no!” Rin looked offended at the idea. Stubborn as ever, that’s her big brother. “This is my problem.”

“I can explain,” Haruka offered, eyes narrowed and sharp as he stared at Rin in the eyes.

A beat passed with the two staring at each other, before Rin sighed and hung his head in defeat. “I _know_ ,” he said, answering a question she didn’t hear. “It’s _ours_. I get it.”

She bit down her lip upon hearing that, a warmth blossoming in her chest at the thought of her brother sharing the load on his shoulders. It’s about time he did that. Carrying everything on his own was fruitless and stupid. He had people who loved him. “We could all have lunch tomorrow!” She grinned. “Mom would take one look at the two of you and she’d be convinced, I’m sure!”

“I wish,” Rin sighed.

It was 5 minutes after that when the doorbell rang ominously in the house. Haruka looked confused, and Nagisa had that wary expression on his face. Gou didn’t like seeing those expressions on either of them. It felt like bad omen. Her brother must have felt the same way, because the moment Haruka stood up, he followed suit as if making sure everything was alright. Nagisa smiled at the others to diffuse their worries, ever the reader of moods.

Moments later, Gou heard the familiar voice of her mother from the direction of the door.

“Oh,” she said, catching Nagisa’s eyes. She inclined her head to the door, a question in her expression. “Want to?,” she asked.

Smiling mischievously, Nagisa whispered something to Rei before walking over to Gou. Rei and the other continued whatever they were doing. “It’s your mom, isn’t it?” he asked, following closely as Gou lead the way to the side of the stairs. It was close enough to snoop around in but not visible from where Haruka and Rin were talking to her mom. Nagisa peeked at the side, careful not to be seen despite the obvious worry he was exuding.

“We did it,” Haruka was explaining. From their position, they couldn’t see his face, but his posture looked defensive and stiff. He might be nervous, or angry, or something. She couldn’t be sure. “We reforged the bond.”

Her mom’s reaction was… pure anger. She’s never seen her mom look like this before, like she would fight the whole world and come out on top. (She knew her mom was scary, but it was something people said. Not something she saw ever.) “I told you-”

“Mom.” Rin’s voice was soft and quiet, but it was firm enough to make her stop. “It was _our_ choice.”

Something complicated passed through her mom’s expression: shock and worry mixed together. She stepped forward, placing a hand on Rin’s arm. “Son, you’ve been so hurt…” Her voice was full of fear. “Why would you want that?”

“We were _both_ hurt,” Rin replied. “Haru didn’t hurt me.”

Gou could see the way Haruka stiffened. It was guilt, probably. Haruka still thought he hurt Rin, no matter how many times they said otherwise. Perhaps her mom saw it too, because she narrowed her eyes.

Rin raised an arm and brought Haruka closer by the waist, easy and natural. “Okay, we hurt each other. It’s just not fair to blame it on him.” He sounded petulant now, more like a child. “And we made this choice together this time. We’re doing this together.”

Haruka glanced up at him, and even though Gou was far away, she could see the way Haruka relaxed, how there was awe written all over his face. After a few seconds, he added, “I promise to take care of him from now on.” It sounded like he was asking for Rin’s hand in marriage. The moment felt that serious.

Gou saw there was still fight in her mom’s eyes, that she wasn’t giving up so easily. A mother’s love was stubborn like that, especially when they’ve already seen their child hurt as badly as Rin was. “Nanase-san, what happens when my son goes abroad again?” She narrowed her eyes. “And don’t tell me you’re not going anymore, Rin. You shouldn’t have to give up your dream.”

“I don’t want him to give up, either. I wouldn’t want him to change,” Haruka said. “It might be hard, but…” He looked up, catching Rin’s eyes.

“We’re going to make it work this time,” Rin finished, still staring at Haruka. “We’re not twelve anymore.” He looked at Mom then and, with a warm voice, he added, “And we’re not alone this time. We have everyone supporting us. Sousuke, Makoto, Nagisa… They’ve all helped us. And mom, I know you’re always on my side.” He bowed down, and Haruka followed right after. “We’re sorry for everything,” they said.

It took a few seconds before Mom sighed, resolve weakening. “Stand up straight and look at me,” she said. When they did, she looked at both of them sternly. “Relationships are hard. You’re young. I need you to promise me never to do that again.”

“We won’t,” Rin said immediately. “Mom, I-” he paused, turning red as he stuttered. “I don’t think what I feel is just the bond. I’m really happy.” He stared right at her and refused to look at Haruka, whole face burning despite how steady his voice was. “I can’t imagine a world where I’m not in love with him.”

And there it was, finally. His feelings laid out for everyone to see.

It was obvious from their mom’s expression how surprised she was of that confession. She looked like she was going to cry from relief, like something heavy was lifted off her shoulders.

Gou felt pride spike inside her, and one look at Nagisa at her side showed that he felt it too. Rin was saying exactly what he felt, what he needed. He was opening up for the people most important to him.

“It looks like they’re fine,” Nagisa whispered, glancing one last time at the surprised expression on Mom’s face. “Let’s go back?”

“Yeah,” Gou said, smiling widely. She was sure everything would be alright now.

\- - -

The people in Haruka’s house trickled out one by one: Gou came home with her mom after the conversation they had; Nagisa insisted Rei walk him home so Rei could meet his sisters, for some reason; Sousuke and Aki had to go home because they had to do other things, and Makoto offered to walk them to the train station. In the end, only Rin was left by his side, seemingly not wanting to go home.

It has been a stressful day, though. They both needed rest, and time to think.

“Rin,” he called out, looking up from where he was cooking his dinner. “I’ll walk you to the train station after this?”

Scrunching up his nose, Rin nodded. “I guess.” He was averting his eyes.

Haruka sighed and put down his spatula, turning to face Rin. He looked him right in the eye, thinking the words he wanted to say but couldn’t quite verbalize. **I’ll still be here tomorrow** , he thought, visualizing the way he would wake up tomorrow, the way he would walk to school and meet Rin again. He focused on the warmth he felt at the thought. He focused on the certainty he felt, deep in his bones, that this time they’d make it work.

It took effort and concentration to pour all his confidence into the nervous Rin.

Worth it though, with the way Rin slowly smiled shyly and nodded while thinking _thank you_ and _I’m so glad it’s you_. This would probably take effort forever, and it would be tiring and sometimes too much, but Haruka decided that he would push through.

Rin would always be worth it.

 

The next day, Haruka woke up to the feeling of his pillow vibrating. He looked to the side where his phone was lit up with a message. Sitting up, he grabbed at it and smiled at the simple ‘ **good morning :)** ’ from Rin. He wondered if Rin felt the cocktail of emotions he had now: the relief of waking up without tears, the comfort from the reforged bond, and the _rightness_ of waking up to Rin’s message.

He hoped Rin did. He deserved happiness; they both did.

For the first time in a very long time, when he looked outside and saw the cherry blossoms blooming, all he felt was peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END!!!  
> (unless you read 404 when it gets released)

**Author's Note:**

> [follow me to hear more about my writing woes](http://moeblobmegane.tumblr.com/) (I post ficlets there too. Also I write faster when people tell me nice stuff.)


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